Is anyone else just mad?

I’m frustrated because early on we thought we would be through this until now. We thought we could have the wedding we planned for by October but nope! We decided to make changes and are doing what you did...having a small/intimate mini ceremony this week and a larger celebration in the Spring, but now I’m nervous that won’t be enough time.

However I am not frustrated with concerned guests and if people are unable or unwilling to come due to Covid. We are in a pandemic and that is completely understandable.

I understand your frustrations. I think it just depends on all that you've gone through in planning. We've always planned for 10/10 and our original guest count was about 20 and we increased it by choice to 35. I completely understand those that declined because of Covid, age, or whatever. I think the only ones I'll truly have a problem with are the ones that RSVPd "yes" and will be a no-show. - I now suspect 3 that will be doing this. And for that I'm truly upset because I've spent more than $200 per person for this event and if there was ever an inclination that they wouldn't make it, they should've just declined. There would've been no hard feelings and in fact, I would've been thrilled.

At the end of the day, it is what it is and you can choose to be mad, or you can find a way to rejoice in the fact that you get to marry your best friend in just a few short days.

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I mean at some point everyone has a selfish moment. Truthfully none of us can tell you how to feel and your feelings are valid. I will be real that by the comment you want to be selfish then I really do not think anything we say will be encouraging. A long time friend of mine did not make my bridal shower this weekend because she like me is a teacher and one of her kids tested positive for COVID and even though she is fine she decided not to go for fear or spreading or whatever. Is that a lame excuse since she tested negative? Yes. But you know what, at the end of the day if that is her worry I cannot be mad at her or fault her. Truthfully the day of even if only 9 people, the people that took time to come and spend time for my day made the world to me and I could careless who could not make it. I hate to say this but the wedding is one day. Yes, we as brides want it to be perfect I get that but at the same time do not let that cloud your judgement or make you upset ya know? COVID sucks for many reasons and it is not just taking away weddings rather personal lives too. Easier said than done but focus on the good parts of the day and the people being there. I do feel COVID is a valid reason to not come. Is your wedding important? Yes. Is it worth someone's health? No. I do not mean to say that to be rude but just as perspective. I would not worry about those that cannot make it and focus on those that can.

View Quoted Comment I hate to tell you that I didn’t even read all that bc it sounded like you weren’t ever gonna give me some support like the other brides did. The point of the post was to be validated for the struggle and then be cleansed of the mad feelings bc it’s nice to know I’m not alone. You ma’am need to understand that just like your life, my life and the life of my family has many working parts, so please don’t get on my post where I wanted to vent and be validated for the terrible feelings I had, if you are going to try and make me feel worse for even having those feelings and then asking for encouragement.

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Yes good luck to you, hopefully people are just waiting to see if there will be any changes in regards to gatherings

View Quoted Comment We’ve been approved for buffet style dinners, so that took a headache off my plate!
It’s crazy to think that in April I thought that October was me taking to too far, and now I know it wasn’t far enough haha

View Quoted Comment Yaaasss! Me too! Like I won't be upset at all if you don't wanna come. I'm paying $42 dollars per person for the catering. I need help saving anywhere I can at this point.

View Quoted Comment I understand and agree with what your saying. In these times, we have to be resilient and make the most of what we have. I had my bridal shower this past Saturday. We set up 4 tables with 5 chairs each. Maybe half the people showed up and my maid of honor was late. The amount of people doesn't matter because we still ended up having a good time. And for the amount that showed up, the gifts were more than enough. More than I could have expected.
It's about perspective. Yes, 2020 sucks. But you can either chose to make the most out of it or have a pessimistic view. I feel like a lot of us bride to be's are worried about who will show up when we're actually going to spend most of the wedding with our new husband's.

It’s a difficult time especially wanting to celebrate a beautiful moment with loved ones but after almost losing my mom to covid I do understand how people are being cautious.

I know we want what we’ve envisioned on our big day and it may not happen that way but I’m sure on that day we’ll see our FH standing by our side and smile. That’s really what it comes down to is celebrating one another together.

Planning has been rough and I’m unsure of where to even begin but trying to focus on the positive and know that it’ll all work out in the end.

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I agree 100 % with all of this. Truthfully I did not promote gifts or have a registry since we are doing a minimony but the gifts people chose to give were more than I expected and perfect. The day of I felt special and the day before I had a crying day missing my mom who is deceased lol. So the day of I felt so loved and appreciated and had so much. You will have fun your wedding day so I agree, even if it is hard try to be optimistic. You are celebrating the marriage and being the wife of your love.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your kind words! I'm sorry about your mother. My condolences.

This process has been incredibly frustrating, and part of me is sad that while I'm having my minimony in just a few days, it won't be the grand wedding that I wanted. Hopefully we will be able to have that next year. I knew family/friends would just not show up if we kept the big wedding this year, but now I'm worried they won't come next year when we announce we got married anyway. I'd rather they not come because of COVID than because we got married in advance, and they say something like the celebration is not a "real" wedding.

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Thanks. It is okay I know she is looking down on me. Sometimes it is hard doing this without her but life is sometimes like that. I hope your day goes perfectly.

View Quoted Comment I love your outlook on it all. “As long as nothing catches on fire...” LOL made me laugh that that is the straw.
OP yes, Eri says it best, it’s ok to be sad and have feelings about those that are declining but your day will still be magical and unforgettable.

View Quoted Comment This is too real how I feel. Except I had the small ceremony and I wonder if that’s the reason they aren’t coming. I’ve told everyone that it will be exactly the way it would have been in April, but the fact is I couldn’t wait to have my wedding in a few years bc the venue didn’t want to refund me. It’s sad, but with all these comments it makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone. Covid is a good reason not to come, I just wish the venue had been more understanding of that

Personally I am not upset when people are worried about COVID, because i too am extremely nervous. We cannot reschedule or postpone due to money and we really didn't want to, plus we felt we could still have our wedding in a safe manner. However, I do feel the same with being frustrated that my friends and family do not want to attend. Both sides of my family with the exception of my in laws do not care about or worry about COVID and have been to many public events and even went to Disneyland, but suddenly care about COVID when it comes to my wedding? Super upsetting and i totally get it. I haven't gotten a single RSVP, no gifts, and only two texts about my invitations and my wedding is exactly 2 months away today.

View Quoted Comment That’s terrible!! But I bet you’ll get more RSVP when it gets to be a month away, a lot of people work on month to month schedules and then again at 2 weeks bc of work schedules again. I started just directly messaging people that I felt like should be there bc sometimes people are the worst about rsvping. One thing I did to ensure people could send us gifts was to list where we are registered on the invitation on the back. Some may say it’s tacky, but i haven’t had too many people ask where I’m registered, and almost all the gifts received at the showers were off my registry.
Hang in there, it will get better!

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I sure hope so, I'm one of those people that makes sure to make plans early and my work never gives time off unless you request it months in advance so I guess I'm just used to it. I put our website on there and had a registry page, but no one has even asked so either so idk. Oh well. Thanks I hope so!

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Yeah I get that, it's hard to know. I feel like most of my friends and younger relatives might be more inclined to go to the wedding next year, it is an opportunity to drink and dance! But most of the older relatives might not understand, and all I can do is explain why we did it the way we did. We paid a lot of money for our photographer/DJ/venue already, thankfully they allowed us to reschedule to next year, but if not a lot of people come next year then I'll feel like we just wasted a lot of money.

I definitely understand the sentiment about being upset that people aren't coming, as attending a wedding can be symbolic of the relationship that you've developed with people over the years. It's your special day, and it's a total bummer if someone who means a lot to you can't make it.

I would also try to be understanding of their circumstances too. Perhaps they are surrounded by immuno-compromised people that are also important to them and they don't want to risk anything. Perhaps they get a lot of negative feedback about doing certain things during the pandemic and are tired of criticism. Perhaps they are attuned to a lot of news and not coming makes them feel a little more in control, and a little safer.

Hopefully there are a lot of things about your wedding that Covid won't take away. It won't take away your walk down the aisle and seeing your groom. It won't take away the beauty you feel when you put on hair and makeup and the dress. It won't take away how people will still be clapping and cheering for you when you're pronounced Husband and Bride or when you have your first kiss as a married couple.