Is anyone else worried about their FH's bachelor party?

I trust my hubby (then FH) anywhere in the world. He lived in a few countries outside the U.S (long distance relationship). So the answer to your question. Yes I trust him.

I think you and your FH need to have a sit down and talk about things. I don't think anyone is being unrealistic/naive in their stories here.

Have you expressed your disapproval to your FH?

I know I would at least bring up the fact that you're feeling uncomfortable about it.

Just because it's S.A. doesn't mean models are just walking around everywhere. Not everyone is a beautiful person on the outside.

Get real and stop reading magazines.

Don't blame us, people that you asked for advice from, because you're the one who said you're worried that he'll cheat. You guys need to sit down and you need to tell him how you feel about him going. If he's going tio cheat on you, he's going to do it whenever he wants to. He doesn't need to go to another country to do it either. Look around you.. I'm sure there are plenty of beautiful women... what's stopping him from going out with his boys and screwing some model he found in a bar?

Okay I do get what you're saying about the temptation being there. he is miles away, with beautiful women, alcohol, and his boys who may egg him on. With that being said I do get your concern about him being in a tempting situation

BUT If you are entering a marriage, it is important that you trust him b/c like he said he doesn't have to go to Colombia to cheat on you. There is temptation everywhere. He has no intentions on cheating on you is what he was trying to say and you should trust him

If it makes you uncomfortable I would talk to him and he should respect your feelings and have a bachelor party that doesn't make his future wife completely uncomfortable

Then what's the problem here? You asked and they answered.

Okay - I could understand if you felt uncomfortable with him leaving the country because of safety issues or communication issues, but to truly be worried about him cheating is a huge red flag. H went to Atlantic City for three nights and got hammered for his bachelor party. I didn't lose a minutes sleep worrying about him cheating. I don't really see how living in NY has anything to do with it.

I understand that you're concerned that when drinking and in that environment he'd do something that he might not otherwise do but at the same time regardless of the fact that it's his bachelor party, he should not be drinking to the point where he cannot control his actions. He then should not drink that much and if he can't control his behaviour while drinking, he shouldn't drink at all. He is still an adult that needs to be responsible for his behaviour and while alcohol lowers inhibitions, if a few drinks is all that it takes to have him cheat on you, then that's a huge problem. I also get that it's a different country but honestly I don't think that changes anything. He shouldn't even consider cheating on you anywhere even if it's far away or he is drunk. If you honestly don't feel comfortable with it then I agree with the others that shows part of you doesn't trust him. That is a bigger issue you guys need to explore.

He's worried about ME.

Aside from cheating, which i actually wrote i'm not too concerned about because he could cheat here if he wanted too (i feel like no one read to that part) What i'm worried about is him getting into legal trouble there.... no he doesn't do drugs here, but over there people put things in drinks and smuggle things in the airport and frame others.... you never know. To me, it's not a safe place. They picked it because tickets were cheap and they got a hookup with a 4 bedroom penthouse with a pool (of course they would never invite girls there... never)

Temptation can happen anywhere. Even with people around you. He needs to be responsible and do whats right if he trully loves you. You cannot worry about things like this, its unfair to you. Trust him in him and be positive.

Do his friends not try to get with every girl in NY? Do they not get too drunk in NY? Are there no hot women in NY? Are there no gold diggers in NY?

I went to Paris without H and he had no issues with me doing so and no concerns about me possibly cheating. Because I wouldn't. Because I love him and trust him and think he's wonderful, and he loves and trusts me and knows no Parisian would shake that.

The high divorce rates in the US and NY are likely a LOT more complicated than men having out of country bachelor parties. Let's be realistic, anyone could cheat anywhere at anytime, the bachelor party is not the only opportunity.

If I didn't think Ben could handle himself like a man in another country with his boys I would not have married him. And vice versa, who would want to wife someone who got sloppy drunk and is most likely to get arrested on a girls trip?

Nope. FH is having 2 bachelor parties. One here in Vegas where we live, and one in Pittsburgh for his guys that cannot make it to Vegas. I trust him 100%. I also know the guys that he'll be hanging with for both parties and know that they will not do anything to put him in harms way.

If he's, for lack of a better term, dumb enough to go to such a volatile country, then tell him to figure it out. He's a big boy, hopefully they can watch themselves and not end up in a news story. Send him links to news stories if you need, as that's a legitimate concern.

If you're not worried about the cheating part, you probably should have left that out. Your concerns seem to run a little more wildly than simply "I'm concerned for his safety."

Not worried at all! My FH all ready told his groomsmen NO STRIPPERS and they are all too broke to do anything! Ha.

If mine was having a bachelor party, anywhere, I would be concerned a little bit. Not about him cheating, but because he still thinks that he can guzzle down liquor the way he could in his twenties. My concern would be that his friends would leave him passed out somewhere while they were off chasing tail, and my sleep would be interrupted because he would call me to come pick him up!!!

The real question is, if you do not trust him, why are you marrying him? H's friends are all single, hit on girls at bars, and if they spent the weekend in Vegas I'M SURE those single men would invite girls back to the hotel room. That still doesn't make me worry about H because I trust him. If your excuse is the national divorce rate or the fact that you live in NY, well…ok?

On the topic of the bachelor party…I would have had a problem with it because of safety and the ability to contact him. Why didn't they just go to Vegas? It's not that expensive.

His friends are the ones who convinced him he should marry me, I doubt they'd encourage him to cheat.

I feel like i should have described his friends in order for my post to make sense to others... sorry.

Friend 1 - married with a 2 month old son, he is such a socialite in our city that he ran for city council... he can buy anything or anyone. he parties every day while his wife sits in her new house and waits for him. I know him for 3 years and their engagement party was the second time i met her, because all other times he was with different chicks. He has a personal driver just so he can drink.

Friend 2 - married with a 6 month old son, doctor, previously cheated on his wife (before they got married, she knows about it)

Friend 3 - Very good looking, actually a pretty decent guy, has a gf of a few months.

Friend 4 - FH's 24 yr old idiot brother who when bored gets hookers even though he had a gf. They just broke up so he will be all over the ladies there.

They all like to party and drink and i'm not talking about a few bottles of beer, i'm talking about tequila and vodka.

I'm not worried at all because I picked my fiance because he was a very mature, sensible, well-rounded guy with friends who are the same...also, his friends are all married with kids so they take care of themselves for their families...which is how my fiance carries himself as well.

A lot of my guy friends have had bachelor parties and it is not at all like you imagine it would be because you've seen too many movies. More often, I've seen bachelor parties involve a bunch of guys drinking beer, eating pizza, watching sports, playing pool...because that's just what they enjoy doing.