Is anyone else's wedding completely DIY?

The bottom line really is this...

You know what kind of vibe you want at your wedding. You know what will work, and what your friends will find acceptable. Personally, I'd rather go to a cash bar wedding than a dry wedding.

FH and I considered doing a backyard BBQ and having a very few drinks provided, but making it known that people could BYOB and we wouldn't be offended.

You do what works for you. Take ALL the advice that has been offerred (and in my state, yes, you do have to pay to have someone ordained, but it's only 30.00) and use what will work for you and your FW. If you invite someone who is offended by something you do, then screw them and who cares what they think anyway. I'd imagine you haven't made the choices you've made in life without ruffling a few feathers, (as we all have) so make YOUR wedding work for YOU, not for some random people on a wedding planning site. Weed through the advice to find what you like, and know that your friends will be happy to see you wed to the love of your life. The rest is just details.

I don't know of a event location of the top of my head, but I used to live semi near indianapolis Indiana and attended a lot of Middle ages reenactment events in that area.

if it was me looking to have a wedding in this area, I personally would contact the group from this area. Reason is they rent venues all the time and A lot of people from these groups have weddings at the same locations that the events take place. Or you may be able to speak to someone that has had a wedding in the area and can make suggestions. If you are looking for something low key and off the beaten path.

Just a thought.

here's a link to that local group.

http://sternfeld.midrealm.org/

Hello! I'm in Indy. There were some very affordable options at local parks around the Indy area. I found quite a few that had outdoor areas along with indoor areas (in case of rain). Many also had tables and chairs that came with the space rental. Most rentals were less than $500 for the whole day. As others said, be careful about doing it somewhere you will need to rent a lot of things for because rentals are not cheap.

Food and drinks are going to take up a large chunk of your budget. The less guests you have = the less you will spend. Your best bet will be to find a venue that doesn't have restrictions on caterers, that way you can shop around. You'll also be able to purchase your own alcohol that way.

Most officiants are around the $200-$300 range here.

Photographers are crazy expensive. I don't have many suggestions for this - the ones I found were all over $1,000.

Everything else you will need to get creative about. Craigslist and used wedding shops have decent dresses, flowers can be skipped or purchased at the grocery store, and goodwill has $.25 votives and half off Saturdays.

Best of luck! You'll start to figure things out the further you get into the planning process

Hi. Welcome. I'm getting a wife out of this whole wedding thing too. I heard they're cool.

My advice, since you have time, is to decide what you want and wait for it go on sale. For example, you can get vistaprint/ shutterfly invites for the same price as print at home ones during a good sale. They'll save time and stress. Pay for convince. Pay the $17 to buy something instead of the $37 on supplies + hours of time.

We are not shocked by the thought of a same sex couple -- you don't need to repeat the word "wife" in order for us to believe or accept it.

As far as Crystal, the alleged florist's advice is concerned -- don't read it again. Get it out of your head. Anyone who types out an itemized statement of super crappy and utterly laughable advice that eradicates the value and talent of tried and true wedding professionals ought to be ignored. It is obvious that she has little to no real life experience in planning any or all of the aspects of a delightful wedding. She is repeating Wedding Shortcuts 101 (i.e., nonsense that can be googled at your leisure). A wedding professional would never advocate for cash bars, friendor officiants, friendor photographers, friendor MUAs, cheap e-vites, or suggest that a couple, simply because they are gay, ask family members to dress -- from head to toe -- in one color of the rainbow because it will look "really cool" in the gay wedding photos. No gimmicks -- that's the mark of a professional. She needs to go back to wedding school or admit that she's never actually seen a bride sobbing because that woman took her advice and her wedding became the shit show it was set up to be. The pros here will tell you the same thing -- it is better to host a small group in a huge way than it is to host a huge group in a small way. Your budget, $5K will host 25/30 people nicely (and it will leave you enough for bouquets and David's Bridal gowns).

A reception in the private room of a restaurant featuring a selection of several excellent entrees and a choice of cocktails for your guests will prove far more memorable than a bargain basement reception that forces you to struggle to come up with $15 PP and still not be able to host a single cocktail and/or leaves you watching your guests as they walk out the door two hours into the reception. Please, have your wedding, but have an elegant event that is commensurate with the occasion and well within your budget. There is no reason to sneeze at $5,000. It's a healthy sum, and it can buy you an utterly beautiful, albeit it intimate, wedding day that you will never forget. Get that guest list down and your horizons will expand.

Well Crystal basically removed her post ...

Kylene - would love to see you come back and tell us more!

I thought some of Crystal's points were good, and it's too bad that it all got removed. All you need to get married is a willing couple and an officiant. The rest is just extra. So I think it's valid to figure out what you care about and what you don't care about and budget accordingly. Sure, some things like a cash bar negatively affect the guest experience, but I don't think using evites or asking a friend to do your makeup (honestly? I feel like most girls would think that was a fun thing to do for a friend) negatively impacts your guests. So if invitations and makeup aren't priorities, don't spend your budget on them. Who cares if she uses PVC pipes to make a backdrop?

Just know your guests and allocate your money on things that will actually contribute directly to them having a good experience. And I second the suggestions that if you think about it, hosting in a restaurant with a private room really can be more budget friendly since you won't have to be renting as much and it probably is decorated in a decent-looking way.

I get that makeup/hair isnt a priority for some and thats fine - but the reason a lot of people urge you use a professional if it is at all important to you is for one big, big reason.

Doing makeup/hair on yourself, to look good for a few hours on a date is one thing. Doing makeup/hair on somebody else that photographs beautifully, and lasts all day long through weather events, tears, dancing and food, is another thing entirely. It requires skill, knowledge, and the right products, which doesnt come cheap.

To some people this isnt important and if their mascara smears, their concealer fades off by dinner, hair gets frizzy or starts falling out on the dancefloor its no big deal, but to those who it is - a bridesmaid who watched a few youtube videos and likes to shop at sephora is no replacement for a professional.

Also, at the end of the day.. once you buy all the products you need to DIY the job yourself, you've likely spent as much, if not more than a pro would have charged on stuff you may never use again.

Just my opinion, as a cosmetologist. Not saying EVERYONE must have a pro mua and hairstylist, but I think a lot of people dont give us enough credit for the job we do and the knowledge involved.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm doing my own makeup - but ive already got all the tools, airbrush included and do this on brides on the regular. I am however, hiring someone else to do my hair. Not a snowballs chance in hell I'm gonna attempt that on my own, and I don't feel right asking my friends to do it when they're supposed to be my guests. Its a big job.

We are doing a lot of diy elements on a very similar budget! Things we saved major $$$ on:

Venue - state park

Catering - local food truck with great rates

Booze - fh is in the beer business

Cake - my mom is a pro baker

Things I splurged on: my dress

Photographer

Diying: flowers and all decor, invites, favors, music.

No one has a completely DIY wedding. Even if you want to have your wedding in an open field, you'll need an alternate plan in case of rain, which may mean a tent, community center, etc. And I doubt you're going to build your venue from scratch!

And some DIY ideas are just plain bad. (Do not self-cater, unless you are inviting immediate family only, or you're going to risk giving people food poisoning!)

A lot of people think DIY will save them money. Sometimes it will, sometimes it won't. Think about:

* Do you really need that thing you're about to DIY? If you don't, it's obviously cheaper to do without than to DIY it.

* Will you actually save money with DIY? A commercial enterprise can buy the raw materials more cheaply than you can. They also have experience in how to make it, so they won't waste materials on botched attempts. So you may well find that the cost of buying something commercially is less than the cost of buying the materials for DIY.

* Are you any good at DIY? If it's going to end up looking like a third grade art project, better to skip it or get it commercially.

* How much time will it take you, and how much will it save? If spending 50 hours on DIY will save you $25, you're working for 50 cents and hour.

* How are you doing to handle set-up for your DIY? If you have to hire a DOC to set up all your DIY projects, you may not have saved anything.

All of this doesn't mean that you can never DIY. Heaven knows we DIYed a lot, including the chuppah (wedding canopy) in my icon. But I always cringe when brides say they are going to have a totally DIY wedding. It's very easy to spend more on a DIY wedding, and to drive yourself nuts with all the work. Think carefully about which projects you take on.

As for wife, you're not the only one here who has one. ;-)

I know a really good photographer. I am in Richmond, Indiana which is about an hour from you. She is shooting my wedding and her rates are $100.00 an hour and probably like $50.00 to travel to Indy. She edits and puts your pictures on a cd and gives you rights to have them copied where ever you want. She is shooting my wedding and she has done many photo sessions with me. Her work is hanging all over my house. She did my engagement photos and they were awesome. We got many compliments on them. Her name is Tina Wilson. Wilson Photography and Boudoir by Tina on Facebook. She is constantly busy and books up quick.

Our wedding dates are only a week apart so we likely have a similar time line. Your look is very different than mine so I can't be of too much help there. But I would sit down and think about your priorities as far as where you want your money to go. Since I'm doing DIY, I wanted the venue to be a really great base that I could work with. So I spent a little more on the venue fee. Then I know I want great food and great photography. Everything else I can do myself and spread the expense out. I'm planning on starting this decorations this summer so that I can spread out the cost and hopefully find great deals as I go along (after Christmas and general sales). Definitely check out Thumbtack for the vendors.

Cash bars are frowned upon but you could always stick with a very limited bar instead, serving only beer and wine. Then you can set yourself apart with the activities for guests. I'm doing lawn games (my venue charges $100 for giant jenga, corn hole, giant checkerboard, and bimini). We're also doing a DIY photo wall in place of a photobooth.

EDIT: Since I'm seeing a lot of comments about makeup- many areas have cosmetology schools and they do days where you can get hair and makeup done for a fraction of the price. Even if you did a test run and then day-of looks it would likely still be way cheaper. It may not work for you, but it's at least something to look into.

When push comes to shove, you get what you pay for in every situation. When people try to DIY and "entire' wedding (which is virtually impossible) when they haven't DIY'd anything important ever, disaster waits in the wing. Stress, worry, hot glue burns, and glitter herpes everywhere.

Doing a beautiful party for a small group is far less stressful and draining than trying to entertain everyone you ever met on less money than you need to do it with DIY's that look like the Girl scouts made them (I have nothing against the girl scouts, just for the record..) A super cheap location is going to look like a super cheap location (and if it's a park, you now need plan B). Self catering is risky and flat out crazy (I know, I did it. It's a long ugly story and everyone here has heard it...)

Do you really want to be attaching lace to mason jars and chopping up baby's breath the night before your wedding, while 100 people's worth of cupcakes need to be frosted?

No. You don't.

We are working on little packages here, outside of NYC. They include a fabulous officiant (yes, or one of my crew), two hours of a world class photographer (Dan Epstein, little plug), a bouquet and bout (or two of the same), a couple of centerpieces and a really nice dinner for 20 guests with cocktails and wine and a pianist or guitarist. Including tax and tips, it's under 4000.00. Add two faces worth of makeup and you're still under 5000.00 and you haven't picked up a glue gun.

Doesn't that sound like more fun than getting your friends to grill hotdogs at the park; fine for a normal day, but not for your wedding, which deserves to be special.