Is Honeyfund: Tacky or Not?

I would also like to point out that research shows that spending money on experiences and travel rather than material items makes you happier.

Asking for cash is always impolite and inappropriate. Many circles do not gift cash for any occasion, especially weddings.

I think it’s fine to do so. We made a registry and a honeymoon fund through theknot.com we asked for money for specific things like $100 for Sunset Dinner and $200 for Ziplining. We had a few people add money to this and a lot of people buy off the registry. It’s nice to have both in my opinion.

So I’ve been thinking about this for my wedding but I have a question for those who think it’s tacky to ask. I understand that traditionally the wedding gifts were meant to help start the couple’s life but me and my hubby have been together for a while now and have everything we need. We are also looking to downsize and won’t have room for anything else unplanned. Is it still tacky to ask for no gifts at all? I want to say to my guests that gifts are not wanted (in a nice way) but if they feel like giving something they can contribute to a honeymoon fund or maybe an experience that we both want. Is it still tacky if you tell your guests you aren’t expecting anything from them? Please don’t be mean to me I really just want an honest opinion, thank you.

View Quoted Comment Guests are aware that gifts are optional and do not need to be reminded nor should they. Be aware that if you don’t have a physical registry, you will receive gifts you don’t want and can’t return. Cash is not always the default. Think of it as a wish list of stuff you want and don’t want to spend your own money on. It doesn’t need to be all silverware and bath towels either. Do you entertain or have game nights? Do you go camping together or share some other hobby?

We had one in the sense that we lived together for 4 years ! So we had everything that we needed , plus we wouldn’t have storage for extra things if we made a registry. It just would’ve been too much. If needed something we could’ve just gone out and get it . To each it’s own , but it worked in our situation. 🤣

View Quoted Comment So as I said before we literally have everything we need. We’re about to start traveling in an rv and don’t have room for any extras. I would rather people bring nothing at all instead of something that will sit in storage. Yes the odd person will bring something anyway but with Hispanic families it’s a little different. There is usually money given at the reception anyway but if I tell them no gifts with a good reason then most will not bring a physical gift. Idk I’ll figure it out when we get there I guess

I think family tradition/ cultural plays a huge factor here. As well as generation. I've noticed a honey fund or gifting money is more acceptable to some cultures than others. And as for generation, I'll give my own mother as an example. We come from a culture where giving money is common, but she still got a bit (unnecessarily) stressed about giving money through one of the options on Zola for a friend's wedding. Meanwhile my sister and I just shrugged and said, "that's the way it's done now." She's also pushing me hard to have more "physical items" on my own registry.

So in summary, I would choose what to do based on who your own people are and what their cultural and generational norms are. OR just do what you want and do your best to be sensitive to people's hang-ups and expectations!

For those who may be seeing this closer to 2024, do it, especially if you don't have a pressing need for items. I have things from living on my own and we didn't need the items from a traditional registry so we did a cash registry for the wedding using zelle. Not specifically for the honeymoon. We accepted cash and checks as well. It was very helpful and afforded us a lot of flexibility on how we can utilize the funds. In a proponent of doing what's best for your union. Some past comments may say it's tacky, but if it's what you need, do what's best for ya'll. We're happy with our decision.