Is it ok to ask the wedding guests to pay for their meal?

Since the dinner is to celebrate you getting legally married, it's still a reception. I personally think it would be in poor taste to make them pay for their meal.

Etiquette generally states if you invite someone to celebrate, they are your guest.

Agree - if it is to celebrate your wedding - you should be covering costs

Unfortunately you should be covering costs since you’re inviting everyone out to celebrate you. You can do whatever you want but you just have to accept and not get mad if it puts a bad taste in people mouths

Since you are inviting others to a dinner to celebrate your marriage, you should definitely be the one to pay.

Ask yourselves why are you choosing a full meal. It could be that you want the full celebratory reception experience. If that is so, you must pay for your guests you invited out. It doesnt matter if gifts are given, time and attention are given. Perhaps invite friends and family over for drinks and deli trays on a non-meal time which is still personal and festive. Only throw a function you can afford, or you'll look immature, financially unstable, and entitled -- what you both don't want as you enter this new chapter in your lives. Good luck.

BTW, signing papers and making it official in still a great cause for celebration! We all just advise you to do it tastefully and purposefully within your means. Best wishes.

I would try to pay for it yourself. While you may not expect/want gifts, there is still societal pressure and obligation for guests to give gifts at a wedding celebration. You are still asking them to come celebrate your marriage, so you are the hosts.

Im going to be honest and say that if I was invited to a wedding (or any other major party such as a 50th anniversary, baby shower etc) and was asked to pay for my meal it would seem tacky and rude and I would not go. If you are invited somewhere for a party the host is responsible for the food.

Agree with all PPs. Since you are inviting people to come and celebrate your marriage, they are your guests and you need to cover their meals. If budget is an issue, I would suggest scaling it down and maybe having appetizers and drinks at someone’s house.

Unfortunately I can't think of a single situation in which what you're asking would be okay. If you are hosting the dinner, you pay for the dinner. I agree with the previous poster that said have the celebration you can afford, whether that's meat and cheese trays at someone's house or a "cake and punch" reception where you serve only dessert and drinks. Just plan according to what works for your budget. I wouldn't mind being invited to a more casual party like that to celebrate my friends/family.

I don't think your circumstances are unique. You are having a small, informal wedding and intimate celebration. Plan a celebration in such a way that you can afford to host the people you want there. If this wedding isn't important to you and you don't want to prioritize hosting people to celebrate you, then just cancel this dinner and save your money for your celebration later.

The answer is always no you don’t charge to eat. Your circumstances are no different: you are hosting a reception following a wedding. You invited them to a party so it is your responsibility to cover all costs. If you can’t afford it get casual food like your favorite local Chinese/Mexican restaurant or cut the guest list.

Is this a party? I mean I have gone out with my friends and we have each paid for our own meals to celebrate. If it's a party you pay for them, if it's just a dinner I think it is ok to expect that they would pay for themselves, but I think this is also a Know your crowd thing. But this depends on your level of comfort with the people you'd want to invite.

We got married at the court house, and then went to dinner with some family friends, our parents, my one bridesmaid, and us. There was 10 of us, of course our parents and family friends did not let us pay. But it was about $250 for 10 of us. It was a beautiful little dinner. We had the big reception 6 months later with EVERYTHING. It was $88 a plate and we did NOT want anyone to pay.

No it's not

No it is not okay. You are getting [ actually ] married and this is the celebration. Either have the meal and pay for people to attend or don’t do it at all

So we also got legally married at the courthouse and went out with our 2 witnesses for lunch after and they paid for us as a nice gesture. However, if we had invited people to a celebration of any kind for it (we're keeping the legal part relatively secret) we absolutely would've foot the bill. If it were just my parents they'd probably have offered to pay, but I would plan on paying for everyone.

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I think it's totally different if someone offers to pay. I feel like they should still plan to foot the bill especially since it doesnt seem like this will be an overly casual affair.

Nope, not ok. You are the hosts and you need to pay.

No matter the circumstances. It's a hard no. Don't be tacky. If you can't afford it don't invite them.