Is it okay to be completely involved in your own bridal shower?

No you can't. You can make small suggestions to them of what you want but other than that you're not supposed to do anything. Being involved in planning your own shower is a big no no and comes off as gift grabby.

Agree with Heather, you are not supposed to plan your own party it goes against etiquette. You can show them your ideas or suggest thing you like but leave them to make the final decisions and planning. Have faith in your loved ones, I'm sure it will turn out great.

Generally no you don't plan your own shower. It is gift grabby to plan your own shower. If the ladies planning ask you what you like you can share your thoughts and ideas. But leave the planning and final decisions to them. You will have a lovely shower even if it isn't what you would have planned.

No you should not have a heavy role in planning your own shower. It is tacky and may also be offensive to the bridesmaids if you buy your own decor. Even if they procrastinate and don't get the decor you want, you still cannot do it yourself. You get what you get.

Do not plan your own shower. Give up control and let the hosts handle it. You can plan wedding. The shower is thrown for you by others and you should just be grateful that they are throwing it. Many brides don't get a shower at all.

No. It's a party they're giving FOR you, not WITH you.

Ditto. If you want to use the cutesy ideas, you can use them when you throw a shower for someone.

Show them your ideas, but don't plan it yourself.

No. It's not your call what they plan, with the exception of the date. IF they ask, you can give them some ideas but stay out of it.

I get the desire to have control because I'm a bit of a control freak, but like Celia said, it's a party that you are attending (not hosting). You are the guest of honor, and your responsibility is to show up and be gracious to your hosts.

It may not be everything you want it to be, but there will be many other opportunities for you to work your creativity.

This raises a question. Someone just posted (and then hid) a thread in which the OP stated that in her area, the couple is 100% in charge of their shower. Has anyone ever heard of that? I've read about all kinds of regional customs on this board, but never that one.

Oh, and to the OP on this thread, no, you really need to back out of this one. Besides the reasons everyone else has given you, as a MOH or a BM, I wouldn't want the bride breathing down my neck. Eventually, there will be some conflict if they choose something you don't like.

I'm obviously the odd man out on this one. I'm planning my own bridal shower/Bachelorette party. And I see nothing wrong with it. I'm not asking my bridesmaids to pay for anything beyond their own dresses. I don't expect them to throw me anything.

You cannot plan nor can you participate in the planning of your shower. Allow your best friend and sister plan the shower.

Planning and paying for your own bridal shower baby shower or bachelorette is gift grabby and tacky as hell

SoontobeNicoleEstevez You can still give your BMs a sum of money and have them plan it for you if you don't want it out of their pocket. Still doesn't make it ok for you to plan it. I saw all the cutest things on TK shop earlier in the week and I had to be like nope can't buy that it's their job. My girls have asked my input on stuff but it makes me feel awkward. I only have say in guest list and date.

So to answer you Tanya is is NOT ok to be involved in planning.

Kemmie I didn't WANT them to do it, it's not a matter of paying for it.

I feel like that is time for me to relax, step away from the details and enjoy my friends. I honestly don't see any issue with doing it that way if that's what you want.

The only thing my MOH and BMs are allowing me to do is make jello shots for the bachelorette party. They don't want me to do anything else.

I mean, yeah, you CAN plan your own. It's not like anyone is handing out citations for bad etiquette. And I'm sure in some areas of the world it's not considered bad etiquette, but around the majority of U.S. cities it is.

SoontobeNicoleEstevez, I understand you don't want them to pay for anything other than their dress. However, you are not entitled to a bridal shower and bachelorette party and it is highly inappropriate for you to plan these events.

Also, I don't understand how you can relax and enjoy your friends when you're hosting your bridal shower and bachelorette party.

Bunnylove: I know I'm not entitled to one. Which is why I never expected my bridal party to throw one for me. If you decide you want to throw your own, who's really going to complain? I say go for it. You want to do your own shower ir party or whatever just do it. Some people might say it's not how it's traditionally done but times have changed, Brides no longer carry bouquets to cover the lack of bathing, grooms no longer present the brides family with livestock. It's not that big a deal.