Is it okay to ditch the registry?

Don’t register and guests will default to cash or check gifts.

If you don’t register, a lot of people will just get you things you don’t want lol. Your best bet is having a small registry where you pick out some things you actually want... I’m sure you can manage to come up with a dozen or so things that you need 🤷🏻‍♀️ Then you can do a honeyfund if you want, or not, and most people will probably get you cash.

Most people will take the hint when they see a small registry, and will give you cash. But there are some people who just don’t give cash, and will be determined to get you a tangible gift whether you register or not... so you’re better off giving them the option of the registry so at least it’s something you picked out.

It's absolutely fine not to have a registry at all (unless someone is throwing you a shower), although there will be some people who complain about it (just practice smiling and changing the subject for all wedding complaints that come your way). If anyone asks you directly what you want/if you have a registry, just say you didn't make one because you don't need anything. If you like, you can also say, "But we are saving up for X."

You can absolutely not make a registry. However, keep in mind that there are those who will insist on buying something. It may be better to make a small registry of things that could use updating instead of leaving your guests to guess. You never know what kind of strange things you may get, or you’ll end up with a bazillion picture frames that say something wedding related on them. I would say this is probably more relevant if you’re having a shower. If not, skipping the registry wouldn’t have as much an impact if at all.

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That's what I'm hoping, but worried people who feel the need to give a physical gift might just get us things we don't need then. Fingers crossed!

We didn’t register and when people asked we told them we didn’t want them to get us anything. We really just wanted people to come and celebrate with us. Of course many people gave us cash or gift cards and some didn’t give us anything which was totally fine. We already have everything we need.

It's totally fine to ditch the registry it's a hint that u want cash instead of gifts, but if u wanna make sure that people won't buy u gifts then try spreading the word that u would like cash because u really have every household item they could buy, if that doesn't seem enough u can post a nice poem on the wedding website like : As we’ve lived together for a year or two,We really don’t need anything new.But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift,Some money for our future wouldn’t go amiss.

Personally we are ditching the registry

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That's what I'm worried about! We tried to come up with a registry but it literally has like four luxury items on it (like a stand mixer, even though we definitely don't need one and bake maybe 4x a year). I'm concerned if we only put expensive items on there (things we wouldn't buy ourselves) we will look greedy but if we only put everyday items on there (like hey, our bath towels are more than a decade old and some fresh new ones would be nice) then people will think its okay to just give us cheap gifts and will think our wedding is going to be cheap (instead of costing us the small fortune that it is). I don't think we can afford a honeymoon right away, so I was considering a honey fund, but I've also heard some people really hate honey funds, so I don't know what to think about those.

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No shower here, but great suggestions on how to be tactful about it. I'm not too worried about it with close friends, its more how the relatives and such (especially on his side) will receive such information. I think saying "we are saving up for X" sounds really nice!

I think we are spending so much on our wedding we won't be able to pay for a honeymoon for ourselves, so maybe I can say that we are saving up for that.

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Thanks for the suggestion - no shower here!

Our friends received a silver Tiffany cake cutting set and literally try to pawn it off on every friend who gets married. They say its beautiful but so useless, so they have invited us (and every other couple we know) to use it as our "something borrowed."

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That's exactly what I'm hoping for! Thanks for sharing your experience - makes me feel better about doing the same thing.

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That's a cute idea! We'll have been living together for nearly four years when we get married, so I'll have to come up with a rhyme that works.

The only time you need a registry is if you are having a shower. Otherwise, if anyone asks, you say, "We really don't need anything for the house, so we're just saving up for" whatever. (It could be your honeymoon, if you aren't buying a house,etc.) That will give people the idea, without having a cash registry.

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Please, please no poems. Life advice: If your message doesn't feel polite without poetry, no poem exists that can make it sound polite.

Truly, I mean this with all sincerity, don't make any mention of gifts needed or not needed until someone asks you, and then you can say what you would like (because they have asked, so they want to know). Everyone else (who doesn't ask you directly) will figure it out, I promise.

We did a small gift registry and also made a honey fund for a new mattress, which provides people with an opportunity to gift you money.

Are you having a honeymoon? I’ve seen the option of doing a “honeymoon” fund so guests can contribute to the honeymoon instead of purchasing something. I’ve had the same thoughts though but we plan on having a very small registry and a honeymoon fund so hopefully that will help deter people from buying things we don’t need.