Is it rude to send people announcements but not invitations?

Announcements are fine. Plenty of couples elope or have super small ceremonies and then send out announcements afterwards. I don't really see them after larger wedding ceremonies

They key is you are announcing you are married, so you should only send them after the wedding.

Announcements used to be very common and are now less so. But they are OK to send as long as you follow these two rules: 1) Send them out after the wedding, not before (otherwise it's too easy for people to confuse them with invitations and then you risk hurt feelings); 2) Do not include any mention of gifts or registries. If people who receive an announcement want to send you a gift, they will ask about a registry or just send something.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you that makes sense! I did not know that about sending them after the wedding.

This is months away, but you could also wait and make a marriage via holiday cards, e.g. "merry and married". I added a couple photos from the wedding to introduce my new spouse to distant relatives & persons who could not fly in for the wedding.

View Quoted Comment All of this.

Hi Kara! It would be rude/confusing to send out a save the date and then not an invitation but after the wedding you can send out wedding announcements to whoever you'd like. I m not really sure if people send out engagement announcements that aren't save the dates. Happy planning!

Announcements are very common though they haven’t been used for a few decades. They used to be incredibly common between the 1930s and 1970s when couples would elope (in the true definition of a ceremony with the bride/groom, officiant and two legal witnesses) and send announcements afterwards. Since elopements and small weddings are back in fashion though while bucking tradition with new ideas of how they “should be”, announcements are perfectly acceptable and have never been rude. The only time that it’s rude is if they are sent before the wedding (legal ceremony in front of any guests) happens. Anything following the legal ceremony is a renewal of vows to avoid confusion.


Guests prefer you to be transparent and honest that you are having an elopement with witnesses only and no other guests and please call the renewal in front of everyone else what it is: a renewal of vows. The wedding already occurred.

I'm actually doing this, but before the wedding. I grew up on the east coast, but live (and am getting married on) the west coast. Because of the time of year of our wedding (two weeks before Christmas), our desire to have a smaller wedding, and of course the ever present Covid, I'm sending an announcement on the same stationary as my save the dates to everyone on the east coast letting them know we're getting married, but that no one is being invited to that and to save a date for the "east coast celebration" we are having a few months after our actual wedding (just you know, in nicer words). This way, my friends and family back east are in the loop and not looking for a wedding invite that is never going to come (since my parents have already told everyone I'm engaged...), or end up being extremely insulted that they weren't invited (no one from the east coast is being invited save my parents).

I think it all just depends on how you word these things. You can do the "hey we got married!" announcement which is traditional, or something that fits you. Weddings aren't quite so cookie cutter anymore these days, its much more about the couple getting married than it is making everyone else happy.

I agree completely with Orianna! My fiancé and I are having a destination wedding in another country and are just inviting immediate family and close friends (basically people who realistically would travel to another country for a week for our wedding). But with holidays coming up, my fiancé and I know our extended family is going to ask about any wedding plans, as they always do any time we get together since we've been engaged for the last couple of years. I think my extended family would appreciate some sort of pre-wedding announcement so that they are in the loop and its not awkward at family get togethers prior to our wedding. I would love to have my entire extended family at our Caribbean destination wedding and week long festivities but travel plans like that are not realistic for my 80 year old great aunt. There is a mutual understanding there, but she loves catching up and knowing all the updates with our lives and would be happy to hear we have our wedding plans set and what they are both in person and by announcement of some sort.