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Rosalie
Dedicated July 2023

Is married life what people make it sound like?

Rosalie, on December 6, 2022 at 9:02 PM Posted in Married Life 1 11

I've heard by a few people online that married life isn't exciting anymore and is dull. No more little romantic gestures, formal dates, only having sex once every 2 months, etc, etc. Married people on this forum, is it actually like this? Or am I wrong?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Rosebud, on February 1, 2023 at 10:09 PM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Marriage is whatever you make of it. If you don’t put in effort into your relationship, then yes, it can look like that. I’ve been married for 3.5 years now and we still try to date nights to nice restaurants and stuff every so often (budget wouldn’t allow us to do it all the time). We make sure to spend time together and do little things for each other if not every day then nearly every day.
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  • Kristen
    Expert February 2023
    Kristen ·
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    For some people, yes; for some people, no. It depends on the health of your relationship…how well you communicate, the effort you put in, the way you treat each other, etc.
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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    It sounds like those people value those types of romantic gestures. However, everyone has their own ideas on romance. I actually think your description is a bit like love bombing if such acts were given and now taken away. Marriage is what you make it. Intentional action counts a lot.

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    Echoing the previous comments, marriage is what you make of it. Make a point to continue doing the things that show your appreciation for your partner. Be intentional about scheduling date nights and spending time together. Continue to communicate your needs in the relationship. I've been married for just over 4 months now, and our relationship has not changed. It's pretty much the same as it was before, though we've got the titles of husband and wife now.
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  • E
    Devoted February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    Marriage isn't what changes a relationship. Nothing about signing a piece of paper magically makes your relationship somehow become dull or boring. I think people have tendencies to get very comfortable in long-term relationships and that can sometimes slip into complacency and apathy. My relationship with my partner is no different being married for a year than it was not married, but our relationship is very different now than it was when we started dating 4 years ago. Just like others have said, your relationship is what you make of it. It shouldn'y always be the exact same as when you first started dating, you should evolve and grow in comfort with each other as a couple, but you also dont have to let that equate to just accepting being roommates because you become apathetic. Long term relationships, married or not, take effort and intention to be fulfilling for each partner.

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    There's literally no way to generalize about what marriage is, since every single couple's experience is different. If all of those things in your post are things you are worried about, then make sure you communicate your needs and wants with your partner. Pre-marital or couple's counseling might be in order.

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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    My husband and I got married in February and have continued to go on dates regularly. We make a point to keep working on our relationship. If anything, we are more romantic with eachother now than before we were married.



    You will get out of your relationship what you put into it, both before and after marriage.
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  • Angie
    Savvy November 2022
    Angie ·
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    My husband and I have been together for 10 years prior to getting married, and we’ve lived together virtually the whole time. We’ve never stopped doing little romantic things for the entirety of our relationship. There have been highs and lows, but we communicate, and that’s how you keep everything going. The biggest driving factor for us is probably that we love making each other laugh.
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  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Everyone marriage is different but for the most part is how you and your partner views it. And how that you make your life to be the little gestures are amazing. And can be priceless a note a text card saying I love you and making each other feel special. No marriage really can be dull or boring because something has to be going on with thee other. Talking really helps to keep the relationship open and alive between one another
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  • Alicia
    Alicia ·
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    It's up to the two of you Smiley smile

    Personally, I take every chance I get to fight against the trend of the institution of marriage being branded as "uneventful" news. But, yeah, I know people who have lost their spark and don't really cherish themselves as a couple. Shame that the popular social media platforms can't seem to divert more attention to the beauty of married life and how important it is to stay devoted to your family.

    Still, it's a choice at the end of the day - albeit a strikingly important one

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  • R
    Rockstar
    Rosebud ·
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    So marriage and any relationship needs to be nurtured by both people in the relationship. If one or both parties start neglecting the other then resentment and tensions can build. Big life events can also greatly impact a marriage( ie the birth of a child or the passing of a parent). Marriage will have ebbs and flows but hopefully if you love each other through the highs and lows and communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully you will have a strong marriage.

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