Is postponing taboo?

I wouldn't say it's taboo. I would say that postponing could end up costing you money depending on your venue and vendors postponement policies. You would also have to see if the venue and vendors even have whatever new date available and try to coordinate schedules with them. The other issue is if anyone booked flights/hotels then they might not be able to get their full money back.

I don't think it's taboo. Brides just went through 2+ years of date changes, life happens. Just try to send them out and notify people of the change of date.

If you're wedding is considered "destination" and save the dates already went out then that would make it more tricky.

You could send “change the dates” in the mail and then tell your friends and family through word of mouth WHY you’re postponing. I could see why you might be nervous to tell people you’re postponing. Will they think your relationship is rocky and you need more time to decide if this is the right thing? Etc. etc. If you were postponing indefinitely with no new date in mind I could see why people MIGHT start wondering what’s going on, but if you want to postpone to a few months after, and people know the reason why, I don’t think you would have anything to be worried about. good luck!!!

It might be costly to postpone and some people may have already made plans, but I don't think it's taboo at all. Your reasoning is reasonable. Good luck to him with his course!

Coming from a bride who postponed, people are generally understanding about it, and if anyone doesn't get it, that's a "them problem." I had a healthy dose of guilt laid on me about our COVID postponement, including comments about how my grandparents are getting older, everyone else just sucked it up and had a micro wedding, we already lived together, we should just "get it over with," etc., but in the end, we had a beautiful wedding that we all got to enjoy, and I wouldn't have done it differently. Seriously, if postponing makes the most sense for you both, tune out the noise and do what's best for the both of you.

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Fortunately, I don't think anyone has made travel plans - YET lol

Our venue is already aware of our thoughts and they don't have a penalty for postponing - phew!

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We definitely have some dates in mind - either in the fall when his training is officially over or March 2024... ironically our first date anniversary is on a Saturday in March next year Thank you for your kind words!

View Quoted Comment That's a good thing. I would though check with your other vendors such as catering, photographer, dj, etc.

Hi Amanda it's ok your not the only one that had to do that I did as well. Our orginal date was June 12th of 2022 because of some financial problems. We had to push back our date so we gotten married in October 30th of 2022. Now thank goodness that I didnt order our invitations then yet and this was back in February of 2022 so I had time. So you guys can get married and go to the justice of peace a little ceremony and then when he is done to have your wedding with families and friends. But it is not Taboo you and your FH do what is best for you both so you can enjoy that special day. I hope that it all works out for you

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and some may judge. But, you've got to do what's best for you and your man. I may postpone my wedding and it's not because of some wonderful like yours, it's for because its quite possible there won't be a marriage. Take care of your man the best you can. Let the naysayers fall to the wayside.

I think it's totally fine to postpone if you need to! You could send out Change The Date cards that say something along the lines of, "Our wedding plans hit some turbulence! Due to unexpected changes in [name]'s commercial flight training schedule, our wedding date is being rescheduled to [new date]." I truly don't think guests will judge you.

I guess this solely depends on your guest. Are they from out of town? How inconvenient would it really be for majority of your guest? How far in advance do they have notice?


In my case, I was invited to be apart of a wedding where it was changed 2 months before the wedding. Unfortunately, I had been planning a trip during that time and it cost me a-lot of money to move things around. Basically, give people a chance to rsvp again and not be upset if some can’t make it.
If your guest can simply change the date on their calendars no problem.

View Quoted Comment If it makes sense to postpone & no fee for changing the date then go for it as someone said those that might have something to say about the date change sounds like a “them problem” those that are genuinely happy of your big day will be understanding best of luck !

Thanks for sharing this type of informative article. I have learned some right stuff here.

I can’t respond to postponing a wedding but I can acknowledge how you feel. My fiancé just started for a major airline and wedding planning is really difficult. Who knows if he will get our wedding week off and it’s impossible to plan a honeymoon. We are winging it!

Any potential inconvenience or added cost to you has nothing to do with taboo or stigma, and of course there is none. Your invitations shouldn't have even gone out yet so no one would have RSVPed. Even if someone had made reservations ahead of time based only on a STD, I would imagine they are refundable or can be rescheduled with this much lead time.

Etiquette-wise there is not a thing wrong with this. Sometimes things happen. We had multiple notifications of postponements in 2020 for good reason. You have good reasons, too.

I had to change my original date from May 18, 2024 (that is one of my deceased sister's birthday) I wanted that day so bad to be able to share my wedding date on her birthday in Memory of her. But when we went to our appointment to tour our venue, the guy had forgot to pencil in my date and booked it for someone else so in order to use the venue (which I was dead set on that venue) I gladly changed my date to May 25, 2024. A day before my birthday and Memorial Day weekend. so Double the partying. Not to mention one of my other sister's normally host our Annual Family Reunion Memorial Day Weekend so She will have to change that now cause she can't be in two places at one time cause she's a bridesmaid in my wedding.. But she was super ok with it thou. and I did apologize to everyone. Cause I had already made my lay out for my invitations and along with already got all the personalized bridal party gifts ready to be ordered and had to go back and change the dates on all of those, thank goodness I hadn't ordered anything yet. Whew!!! Good Luck in whatever you decide to do . And don't let nobody else make you feel guilty for having to change your date. Cause after all, It's yours and your FH's day.