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Devoted September 2012

Is this normal in some cultures?

The Sealpups, on February 26, 2022 at 3:22 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6

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DH and I come from a family oriented culture. I actually knew of his family years before we started dating. Anyhoo, he has 1 older sister and 1 young brother. Older sister’s husband only made an effort to get along with her brothers and rarely talked to me. Totally fine, I’m not expecting a friendship but I see all my other friends and everyone seems to get on fine. Husband’s younger brother has a girlfriend and she doesn’t really say much or interact with me yet she will go to my husband’s sister with, “hi Veronica!!!” Sometimes I wonder if his girlfriend even knows our names. She just says, “hi” in passing. It’s weird because I’m naturally very friendly (not too much) and hospitable. I’m assuming BIL’s girlfriend and SIL’s husband both come from a culture where they are not family oriented. I told one of my friends (her background is Italian) and she said she would find that offensive, so it could be cultural? I’m just trying to understand it. Either way, I’m not offended, just taken a back a bit but it’s more than okay since everyone is different. Maybe they were taught to only be friendly with siblings and that spouses don’t matter at all?

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Latest activity by The Sealpups, on March 1, 2022 at 8:10 PM

Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on February 26, 2022 at 3:29 PM
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It has less to do culture and more to do with introvert vs extrovert. Some people are not completely comfortable around others and tend to clam up. Other people are bubbly and make friends with everyone. Neither is right or wrong but try not to judge her on that. It’s not done with the intent of being offensive because people who are introverted can’t help that part of themselves.
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Devoted September 2012
The Sealpups · on February 26, 2022 at 3:35 PM
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That’s a great way of looking at that, Michelle. Introvert, ambivert, and extrovert personalities are real and should be taken into consideration more in our society. I’ve been told I’m am ambivert, so you can imagine my disdain when my boss expects me to “liven it up” during meetings when sometimes, I am drained and would like to observe. I simply can’t turn on my outgoing nature in a snap. Thank you for sharing!
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Dedicated April 2020
Krista · on February 26, 2022 at 8:05 PM
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I think sometimes dynamics are different. My sister is so close to her in laws and all of her husbands siblings. Like family vacations and game nights. I don’t think I have ever texted my brother in law and don’t think my sister has ever reached out to my fiancé. I don’t take it personally. Sometimes the vibes are just different with different people and that’s ok!
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Savvy April 2022
Miranda · on February 28, 2022 at 12:48 PM
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I think it depends on whose closer to who. I was raised with my siblings my fiance was not. With that being said I get along great and talking to her siblings when we are around each other or they video chat her. Where as me and my brother are very very close and both have children so we talk to them all the time and are with them at least once a week. But my sister is 5 years younger than us and has no kids so she is closer with her boyfriends family because they are all in the same place in life. My fiance will still text or talk to my sister when a reason or a chance happens. But she is constantly texting my brother and his fiance
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Super September 2022
Ashlee · on March 1, 2022 at 7:17 PM
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My fiance is a South Jersey Italian and his family is very close knit, and myself and his siblings significant others all come from broken homes and very different family dynamics, so while we hug, catch up when we're together, I would never really go out of my way to talk to his sister's boyfriend. His brother's girlfriend and I got pretty close because they're twins so have all the same friends and we see each other outside of family things, but I think if that weren't the case it probably would have been similar to the sister's boyfriend.
On my family's side, I am close to my sister, but not like talk every day, close. Usually if I talk to her husband, it's sending a meme or funny tiktok, but that's the extent outside of family stuff. My fiance and her husband text about sports occasionally, but my FH doesn't really text my sister. I do think different family dynamics as well as personalities all come into play (both my FH and my sisters husband are super outgoing and extroverted, my sister and I are more introverted.)
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Devoted September 2012
The Sealpups · on March 1, 2022 at 8:10 PM
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That’s awesome! I love Italian families (you totally understand how tight knit everyone is as I’ve come from a similar upbringing). I just find it so weird bc it’s my dh’s brother’s girlfriend that’ll just give me a wave and sister in law gets a big hello! Eh- I shouldn’t let it bother me but you’re totally right. Everyone has different dynamics and personalities. Thank you for sharing!
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