Hi everyone! We are hosting our reception in my in-laws backyard, in an absolutely beautiful part of Idaho in the summer of June 2021. First of all, please know that I am incredibly grateful to my in-laws that they are allowing us to use their space instead of us having to pay for a venue. I have tried to keep my mother-in-law involved in the process as much as possible, since all of this will be happening in her backyard.
When I explained my decoration ideas to my mother-in-law, she thought that it was too much for me to handle and suggested that I get a wedding planner. She loved my ideas but thought that I couldn’t get them done. No matter how much I assured her, she insisted that I get a wedding planner. I know that she knows that I am a capable person, so I wasn’t sure where this desire was coming from. I poked and prodded some more, and my mother-in-law finally relented that the reason why she wanted to have a wedding planner was because she didn’t want to see me working on the day of my wedding and feel inclined to help. My mother-in-law wanted to relax on the day of the wedding. I tried to reassure her that she could sit inside and sip her sweet tea all morning long and I wouldn’t ask her for help, but she said that she would feel inclined to help.
So I decided to look into wedding coordination services, where I could have a professional come in and help me get the space ready in the days leading up to the wedding. I interviewed a few with my mother-in-law and we finally settled on Sarah. Sarah did not have a day of package, but instead had a 30 day package, where coordination would start about a month out before the wedding. At first Sarah seem to be a very professional person, but then she started to say things that didn’t sit right with me.Sarah is also a florist. She said that unless we purchased flowers through her, she would not touch the flowers in any way shape or form. This would mean that she would not arrange the bouquets, that she would not put them on the tables, or put them in the pews. Furthermore, Sarah also said that unless we did our event rentals, such as tables, chairs, lighting, through her, she would not be touching those either. I am DIY Ing a lot of the wedding such as building tables, purchasing linens, and setting up a dance floor. Sarah refuses to help in the set up of any of this because we did not purchase the materials through her. At this point, the only thing she is willing to do unless I do things her way, is manage vendors. I personally think that $1800 is too much to be paying somebody to just manage vendors.
Is this normal of a wedding planner? I just feel like I’m being forced to pay too much money into things simply because of what is expected. I’ve explainedto my wedding planner several times that I do not have the budget to pay what she is asking me to pay for florals and event rentals. When I mentioned my desire to DIY or to purchase things outside of her, she gets very condescending and tells me that I can’t be DIY Ing everything for my wedding. For example, she knows that my wedding budget is $10,000, and sent me a quote for $2100 for Florals and $1800 for tables and chair rentals. I have reiterated the importance of sticking to my budget to her many, many times. I’ve explained to her that it is far more efficient for me to purchase things privately then rent them, but I’m getting a lot of pushback from her. Am I just being too difficult to deal with?
I am considering severing the contract and looking at other means of help. Thoughts?
