Isn't this supposed to be "fun"?

My answer isn't the best but I handled it by canceling and deciding to elope.

So sorry for what you're going through, the dtress can be overwhelming and COVID definitely doesn't help.

I've heard such mixed things! Some brides love the planning, and some find it extremely stressful. I actually love it, but there are some parts which are a little overwhelming at times for sure. Are you able to involve your family and friends virtually? My family has been a huge help when it comes to finding vendors when I feel lost or giving advice when I'm not sure where to go next. Even though I don't get to see them in person, texting and video chats have made it a little easier!


At the end of the day, all that matters is marrying the one you love! Breaking the bank and stressing yourself out isn't worth it. Do whatever feels right for you!

Hi Nicole! If it makes you feel any better, I live pretty close to my family and with covid, towards the middle-end of planning I did a lot alone too ❤️ Before my husband and I got engaged, I communicated to him my expectations that we were to wedding plan together. He was happy to be involved and we looked at it as “our” wedding. There were times where I turned to him and said “I really need more of your support”. He jumped in but said later “wow this wedding stuff is harder than I thought” 😂 It sure is!!
I gave my husband tasks (ex: research and find 3 videographers and setup phone appointments). We split checklists up to divide and conquer. I would explain to your fiancé you do want his involvement and need his support as this is both your special day. Guys tend to love things like music selection, bar drinks and honeymoon plans. Hope this helps ❤️ You are not alone 🌸

I'm so sorry you are going through this, but whoever told you it was fun lied. Wedding planning can be extremely stressful. I would suggest sitting your fiancé down and telling him you need his help because it's his wedding too. Maybe give him options. I would my husband was more helpful when he was given options.

When I had these feelings (pre-COVID), I just stopped. I decided my mental health was more important. Take a moment or two or seven. It is not uncommon to go in cycles. Planning for 2-3 weeks and take a week or 2 off with ZERO planning, repeat.

Hi, Nicole! I am in a similar boat as you right now, and I feel the same way!!! We moved from GA to OK at the start of the pandemic, and have been planning our wedding in GA closer to our families. It is so tough to try to do all that planning alone, especially not having any new friends in OK yet! I love wedding planning, but not when I am spending every spare moment on it. Is there a way for you to wiggle your budget to allow for a Day of Coordinator to help you work out some of the details or give recommendations? Or maybe you can ask your venue if they have any recommendations for other vendors that have worked with them before? That could be a starting point as well.


My FH has been letting me decide on a lot and like yours has very little input about most everything else (other than keeping costs down). Maybe you can ask your FS to do some checking for vendors in an area that they care more about (like the food or the DJ, etc) and see if they can take care of narrowing down those vendors. That would definitely help take some stress off you and shorten your to do list. If you ever need to vent or support for lonely long distance planning, I am here for you!

I deeply despised wedding planning during the pandemic, so I feel you. Also had a neutral fiance.


My best advice: ask your fiance to step up. He needs to help. For me, I would give my fiance tasks: email thes people, put these items on the registry, look at these honeymoon destinations. He hated doing it, but he recognized he had to pull his end of the bargain too

View Quoted Comment Yes yes yes! 🙌 THIS. Your fiancé is not allowed to be a wet noodle about the wedding that’s for you both. Sit him and explain your feelings to him and ask him 1) for his positive support and 2) his co-participation.


After I was left all alone to plan mine, I did just that (over a bottle of wine). I told him a wedding is “our love story” and I wanted us to create it together. We decided to do a fun theme but perhaps your fiancé can share what’s important to him (guest list size, types of food or music). With his ideas he might get inspired to help more.

It takes two to get married and two to plan.

If your FH's response to wedding planning is a big ol' MEH, then your response gets to be, "cool, we're going to the courthouse tomorrow!"

...Usually, these recalcitrant FS tend to find that they actually care about something to do with wedding planning.

It's not fair to make one person do all the work... and it sets up a terrible imbalance for your future lives. He's got to pick a few things he cares about, and those are his responsibility. Either he does them, or they don't happen.

And, if it's too stressful - take a break!

I would be asking him for help if he doesn't want you to get a planner to help ease your stress. You have the added stress of planning a wedding where you can not just easily check in on things or go see the venue if you get the blues so he has to help ease you. Maybe you should take a few days off from planning and do some "me" stuff. Take a long hot bath,have some wine, read a book or do whatever you like to do and just decompress some and when you feel ready go back to the wedding stuff. I am a huge list person and that has helped me stay very organized and my vendors answer any questions i ever have so if they are reassuring you things are going to be okay, trust them. Take a deep breath

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All of this.

There is *something* he's interested in - for DH it was music, his attire, and food. He also helped pick the venue, invitations, STDs, and photographer - because he was getting married too.

The other thing is even if it's something he's not especially invested in, he should have an opinion if you need/want one. DH said a couple of times that the reason he was "meh" or "whatever you like" when I asked his opinion was because the only thing that was important to him was that he got to marry me - we had to have a heart-to-heart about if I was asking for his opinion, it was because I was undecided/didn't feel especially strongly about the options - but that he darn well got to help.

Sorry, you feel this way. I can definitely relate. After most of the big decisions/vendors are decided/booked now, I moved on to the stage of decorations and all the little extras to personalize our wedding. And that is a lot more fun (though I am also not enjoying it as much as I always thought I would and still think I should).

Give yourself grace - it is normal to feel overwhelmed by all the planning plus you've just been through a major transition plus the whole planet has been in crisis- mode for almost a year now.

I agree with what some other brides have said: take breaks.

I made a whatsapp group with my four best girlfriends (all live really far away as in on a different continent) and sometimes I just vent or share my planning progress or ask their opinion on staff. They also went dress shopping with me on zoom. That has been encouraging.

My FH was also not very involved in the beginning and whenever I wanted to talk about wedding plans I felt he changed the topic. In December I had sort of a breakdown and for a week I literally cried every day (including my birthday and christmas), I was just so stressed and overwhelmed and it all got to me. After talking to him he has really stepped it up and helps. I am still the one doing most of the planning because he has no clue what is needed to plan a wedding plus I am so much more detail-oriented and organized than him plus a lot of the details that are important to me aren't important to him. Just the fact that he wants to help and gives me his opinions and tries really hard, has been so good for me. But it took an open conversation for him to understand how important this is for me.