Issue with grooms/maid of honor

What does your FI want? It's his choice.

I think it's best to let your FI deal with his kids on issues such as this. Clearly she seems to be having an emotional reaction to the wedding, and it's coming out in this form. I would not put yourself in the position of having a stand off with her, of sorts. Stay out of it.

I agree that your future spouse (FS) needs to handle this and then, whatever he decides, you two need to present a united front.

But also, the language you are using to describe your soon-to-be stepdaughter is very troubling. Does your FS know how you feel about his kids? You need to be really honest with him so that he can decide how to proceed.

Agreed with the idea that your FI should take charge here


But if your FI doesn’t want to make the decision, maybe you could order her a bridesmaids dress (or MOH/best woman dress, whatever you want to call it) in hopes that she changes her mind going forward and wants to participate in any capacity. It’s easier to get rushed alterations than a rush delivery!

I agree, you need to stay out of this fight and let your fiancé handle his children. it sounds like he needs to have a genuine heart to heart with her to find out what is causing this behavior. And, if he decides to have her be his “best (wo)man”, you need to be understanding and accepting of his decision. I’m curious what the reasoning is behind you being so against her holding that title. After all, it truly is just a title. And there is nothing that says you cannot have multiple people hold titles of honor. Your fiancé could easily have a best man and a best woman. There’s obviously some compelling reason she so desperately wants that title, whether you find it acceptable or not. And, bottom line, she is a 17-year-old girl. Teenage girls are emotional and irrational. I would try to be a bit more empathetic with her- especially since she will soon be your stepdaughter. Good luck! Hopefully a gentler approach will be successful

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I forgot to say what Maggie said in that last paragraph. I find it troubling too.

View Quoted Comment I'm not against it I just feel the best man should be someone who is actually in his life his daughter cut him out of her life due to his actions years ago and soon she hears were getting married she thinks it should be all about her. I've been letting him handle it and trying stay out of it I even offered her to be a bridemaid along with her half sister but she wants it her way. I haven't even been getting into it unless she talks to me and she will o ly talk to me or her mom. I feel horrible in a way but in a way I don't

View Quoted Comment Gotcha. Well if she refuses to talk to her father, and is talking to you about the issue, then really she is inviting you into the situation. What does your fiancé think? Would he be devastated if she weren’t present? Is it worth it to him to give into her demands in order to have her there? I think it would be hard for me as well to want to give into her demands if she doesn’t have a relationship with her father. It sounds like he needs to have a sit down with her and get to the root of this behavior, then decide how he wants to proceed. What a tricky position for you all to be in. I am so sorry you were having to deal with this. I would just continue to be supportive of your fiancé and make him make the final call.

You did your best in try to make her apart of the wedding and obviously she doesn't know what a maid of honor duties are. And by her acting like that and not wanting nothing to do with her father why does she even want to be in the wedding at all. And that she does have a say in what place she has and yes acting out. Now we cant always make the other person happy and you are doing your best to in trying not to make a problem. And you see that your future husband is hurting he needs to step in but how can he talk with her if she isnt speaking to him. I hope that he and you can make her see where she is wrong. And mend things with her dad good luck