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Just Said Yes October 2019

Issues with your moh

Breann, on June 8, 2019 at 6:03 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13

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So I’ve been having some serious problem with my MOH (who also happens to be my only sister). Every time I talk to her about anything she has an attitude with me or acts like she could care less and tries to direct the conversation back to her. It’s becoming a frustrating subject and I’m worried if maybe I’m just being over dramatic. For instance, a couple months ago I was trying to get her opinion on when it would probably be cheapest to buy the tickets for our honeymoon as she flies a lot more than I do. Mind you I wasn’t asking her to book it or anything like that, simply her opinion. She lashed out, cussing and screaming at me and telling me she didn’t have time for this crap and she’s got enough going on and couldn’t be bothered with it.
Mind you she’s like this with things not pertaining to the wedding too, I passed my boards yesterday and she barely said congratulations in a 30 second phone call.
its just making this wedding planning stage very depressing and I’m not sure what I can really do about it because your MOH is supposed to be your go to! Every time I try to talk to someone about it they tell me I need to cut her slack because she’s working really hard on things like my bridal shower and bachelorette party and things I can’t know about yet.
Id really appreciate anyone’s advice or opinions on this matter. Thank you ❤️

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13 Comments

Latest activity by D, on June 8, 2019 at 4:09 PM

VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on June 8, 2019 at 6:09 AM
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I don't have a sister, so I don't have much background. If people close to you both are telling you to cut her some slack, I'd listen to them. Other than that, I'd suggest asking her if she is feeling overwhelmed when she has an outburst and asking her what you can do to help. Not necessarily with planning of the bridal shower or whatever. Have you thought about going out just the two of you? It sounds like you've been busy with planning and studying so maybe some time spent nurturing this relationship could be beneficial.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Breann · on June 8, 2019 at 6:11 AM
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I have tried to get time to spend with just her but she’s a busy person overall. On top of working 2 jobs and the planning of the stuff that is involved in the wedding, she’s also going to be in two musicals. Busy is her middle name because she likes to stay that way. I appreciate the feedback though and suppose I can try to see if she has any time to carve out again
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on June 8, 2019 at 6:48 AM
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Unfortunately the only thing BM have to do is but dress and attend wedding. your fiancé is your go tO person.

sounds like she is over whelmed with life. I a
sure you have but I would again make sure everything not wedding related is ok.
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Expert June 2019
maryann · on June 8, 2019 at 7:52 AM
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CDickman is right BM only need to show up, however, her sister is her MOH there is a big difference. Your MOH is your right hand, yes we all know our husbands is everything but planning the wedding your MOH is your go to they understand detail, nerves, little things guys often overlook. I think you should maybe talk to your sister and see if she is up for the task of being your MOH. She may just have too much going on to really do it. My sister is my MOH also and sometimes I have to remember to call and talk to her about her not the wedding. When are u getting married?? If you feel like she really is not there supporting u and assisting you then u might wanna consider a different one
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on June 8, 2019 at 7:59 AM
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Your sister is working two jobs, involved in two musicals and is planning your shower and bachelorette which are both big events for you. What else are you expecting? Did you set those expectations before she agreed to be your MOH? If everyone is telling you to cut her some slack when you bring this up, that’s what I would do.
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on June 8, 2019 at 8:39 AM
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My sisters planned my party and went dress shopping g with me that is it.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on June 8, 2019 at 8:50 AM
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Your sister has her own (busy) life and is planning two parties for you. What else is it that you need from her? Google the flights, you will figure it out. I agree with others, give her a break.
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Super July 2024
Fwbride · on June 8, 2019 at 9:15 AM
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My sister is a mom of 3 (one is a puppy) and is starting the adoption process, works 7 days a week, is finishing her degree and still has wifey duties. She is my matron of honor and planned one of my bridal showers (held it at her house and cooked all the food), has attended all bridal events and most importantly has never snapped at me for asking her a question. She actually asks me questions all the time about how I want her hair worn and makeup done, etc.. Yes, your sister is busy, but she is choosing to be, and seems to like it. There’s absolutely no reason to cuss someone out for asking a question, especially not your own sister. Yes, if I were you I would just not bother her anymore, but I think you should tell her that her snapping on you hurt your feelings (if it did).
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Breann · on June 8, 2019 at 9:21 AM
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Thank you I was starting to think maybe I was being totally crazy but that was my whole point is it was an uncalled for reaction and when I confronted about it she turned it into her being the victim and how I should know she’s so busy and whatnot. And I let it go and figured okay, maybe she’s right maybe I’m overreacting until yesterday when I called to tell her that I passed my boards (my third try and a five year process so it was kind of a big deal) and she was like “oh that’s cool, congratulations I guess” then hung up as if she hadn’t been aware of what a big deal it was and she knows it is because I’ve told her and my mother about it for weeks. Idk it’s just frustrating I guess. I’ve bent over backwards to make schedules work for her and make her happy with this planning process and I feel like it should maybe be the other way around?
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Savvy December 2015
Woman On The Go · on June 8, 2019 at 9:59 AM
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I'd cut her some slack, maybe give her some space as well. My sister is in the wedding of a friend, and with less than two months to go coming up there's the local bridal shower, bachelorette party out of state, an emergency trip where the bride needs help and an airport dropoff, bride's birthday, a graduation party, then the out-of-state wedding festivities. My sister is also in finals for her Master's, works full time, and is a single mom. She's just about at a snapping point. It's possible your sister needs to have some time to go back to her regular life, or she may even need some help with planning that you can enlist. Good luck to you and your sister!
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Breann · on June 8, 2019 at 10:01 AM
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I appreciate the insight and thank you, I think you could be right to an extent
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Master October 2019
Jolie · on June 8, 2019 at 2:48 PM
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Some people can’t handle stress even if they willingly put themselves in those situations but seems she is taking it out on people around her. It’s not right of her to do that but take a step back and realize that’s a her problem not a you problem. Some handle stress better than others. Some get mad at everyone else around them just because they are stressed/angry. That’s not your fault! Maybe just talk to her as a sister about what she’s got going on. I don’t think it has anything to do with your wedding persay it’s everything she’s got going on. Maybe go to some others for suggestions or help for a little while!
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Super July 2020
D · on June 8, 2019 at 4:09 PM
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Sounds like your sister is overwhelmed in general. Hopefully she is getting the support she needs from the other BMs. Is there a way you and your sister can get together just to have time for fun? Nothing wedding related.
Congrats on the boards! That's quite an accomplishment!
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