It's been 3 years and no proposal, contemplating moving on?

Aw thank you, Naomi!

Easy girl, I was proposed in our 7th year. Who said a couple should get engaged in 3 years?? What really matters is if you guys love each other and the relationship, is it healthy and stable? If you really want to get engaged now, you also can talk to him about this. He might not be ready for engagement or marriage, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And it's your own choice to decide if you want to move on or keep being together. Nobody can decide for you.

There's no such thing as "perfect time". I asked my husband to marry me. Yes, he also said he wasn't ready... So what? He still decided to marry me because I said if he didn't propose to me, I would break up with him. Now we've been married for 10 years. We had 2 beautiful children. Everything is perfect for me. Just ask him, girl.

I don't know what do you mean by "when the time is right". But proposal usually is men's "job", there must be a reason that he had never proposed to you. If you guys had been together for 3 years and really wanted to step to the altar, you should sit down and talk to him, about your future, and to make sure to get an awser of when is "the right time" for him, and you will know what his thought. I believe that when a couple been together for 3 yrs and the man didn't propose, it clearly said that he hopes he'd have a choice when there's a better one.

Why are you all so desperate to get married? life is not a race. yes you *can* enjoy a full life not being married, not being engaged, even being single - your life is not "on hold" as another commenter said here - have you really got nothing else in your life about which you are passionate? A relationship is going to be the same relationship after you've been rubber-stamped with the official title "married" - so if it isn't a strong and fulfilling relationship now, no societal label is going to change that.

Maybe rushing into marriage isn't everyone's first priority in life? 3 years is nothing. It's not a surprise that 40% of marriages end in divorce if people are approaching them with this attitude.

You want someone who is ready for you and to commit with you for the long haul. For some people it takes awhile and for some it happens quickly. Maybe you can sit down and talk with him about how you and him see yourselves in the future but also you have to do what is best for you. My fiance and I were together as boyfriend/girlfriend until he proposed to me 4 years later.

I'm actually going through the same thing right now. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 3 years and have offered insight on my timeline. He is aware that I want 4+ children (and so does he) and for that to happen, we need to start sooner than later. That being said, I refuse to have children outside of marriage so that needs to happen first. He has been a wonderful partner and best friend but I am starting to wonder what the hold up is. He is finishing up his second degree and I'm starting my second degree strictly out of principal because I don't want to sit and do nothing while I wait for him to make up his mind. We are completely different cultures and I understand that somethings are different and require adjustments from both ends and hope we are strong enough to withstand societal expectations. I've made up my mind that I want to wait a maximum of 4 years and if I'm not proposed to yet, then I need to start making steps back...? Not sure. Super nervous to see if that happens.

How did the OP get on? Finally get the courage to get rid of him?

The only way you can get a man to propose after so many years in, and especially if having sex, is to disappear. Yup ... disappear. Move cities, take a job in another country, start a PhD ... get gone. If he chases you, it may not be because he wants to propose but because men chase a moving target. If he DOES rock up with a ring, you have to get him to agree to a date within the next few months otherwise the same thing is going to happen. You will have the ring, but now dragging him to the altar. Ugh can think of nothing worse. It is like pulling teeth or WORSE. Disappear, move on and don´t even tell him. He is not your fiance, you owe him nothing. He has already wasted three years of your life and you want a REAL marriage and a REAL family.

3 years is already too long love, move on.

Wow, that's tough! Sounds like you need to make a decision - it's up to you if that means moving on. Take your time, do what feels right, and don't forget to take care of yourself throughout it all!

From a 34 yr married lady. After dating for 9 years 14 to 23 with some break ups and make ups, college educations, good incomes and ready to roll at 23 (me, not him). Instead of a ring in 1987 for Christmas, I got a boom box (for those of you old enough to understand) He was very excited about that purchase.....I of course was not. On New Year's Eve after a swanky, black tie event with friends, still no stroke of midnight proposal....I said the difficult (very) goodbye with "When you're ready let me know". On March 26, 1988 (just 90 days later) I met the man of my dreams. Rich? no College Educated? no (things I once thought were priority important) But. The quality of a man is not in those things. I got engaged 5 months later, married on Aug 26, 1989. The rest is history and an excellent one. We have built an amazing life together, with struggles and difficulties for sure, but never a crack in the foundation of the promise to stick together through the good times and bad....sickness and health...etc. What I can say is this. When you're ready you know, when you're not... you know. This decision is Yours to make. He knows what you desire, if he can't bring it, put a ring on it....time to move on. God Bless you on your journey. YOU will know when you know, no post or question of others can answer what you seek.