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Just Said Yes April 2022

It's been 3 years and no proposal, contemplating moving on?

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Erica, on December 17, 2020 at 2:39 PM

I'm enlisting the advice and counsel of anyone who has gone through a similar situation.
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 3 years, with our fair share of ups and downs and learning things about one another. We've talked about marriage for over 2 years now.
Every time we get into an argument or disagreement he brings up the fact that "I'm not ready yet" and says we "have things to work on" before getting engaged. I asked him straight up if he wanted to get married and his response was "when the time is right". He has brought up rings and kids but there's been no inclination that he has any thoughts to propose in the future.I realize that even in marriage, both parties are learning things about one another and may have things to work on. I love him so much, but a part of me feels like he's making up excuses to not commit to me in marriage. I'm 25 and he's 30, we both are financially set, he can EASILY afford the $3500 ring I want.I don't want to invest any more time with someone who may not wind up proposing. I'm at the point where I want to keep my options open, and I'm seriously considering closing the door on this relationship and opening a new one for someone who will actually make me feel like they want to marry me.Any thoughts/advice on the situation?I could really use anything, I feel super discouraged and at a loss.

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Just Said Yes November 2023
Nobie · on November 21, 2023 at 7:24 AM
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I made the horrible mistake of waiting 9 years for a man to choose me and let me tell you I would NEVER do it again. I was in a relationship with an older man and we have what I considered to be a loving relationship. After about 2.5-3 years I felt ready to marry! He however felt ready to drag me along for as long as I allowed him. It was a comfortable and familiar situation so he felt no rush to get down the aisle. We settled into a routine life with family and children and the topic would occasionally come up. We winded up breaking up around the 5/6 year mark and this man had the nerve to marry the very next woman he date. That was short lived because less than a year later we were back together and making amends. Around the 8.5 year mark I had to sit him down and tell him I wasn’t going to be his girlfriend for the rest of my life. I told him it’s okay if he didn’t want to marry, but I wanted to be let go so I could find the man who couldn’t stand living without me. Someone who chose me without pressure or resistance. This conversation woke him up to reality and he proposed shortly after. By that time I was bitter, embarrassed that I had been drug along, and really resentful. I accepted the proposal thinking the would wash the feelings away that I had secretly grown. It didn’t! The marriage sadly ended 1 year after it began . He wasn’t not ready to be a husband and I don’t think he ever will be. So my advice is not to rush him but have your own timeline in mind of how long you’re willing to wait for a man to choose you. As I moved into my next relationship I made it know that marriage is the end goal and I’m not interested in dating for multiple decades! I’m in my 30s and don’t need 5 plus year to figure out if you’re my person. Anything longer than 2 years is too long for me these days! I will pack my stuff and go before I ever play housewife without the actual commitment.
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