“It’s your wedding but….”

I’m right there with you! Or she just says “it’s you’re wedding it should be what you want” and doesn’t explicitly say what she wants but gives you that look of she’ll be really hurt if we don’t do it her way

View Quoted Comment EXACTLY!!!!!! I came up with what I thought was a cute idea which is to honor my aunts and have them as flower girls. I saw this at a wedding where the bride and grooms grandma’s placed petals down the aisle and it was so sweet. I was advised that she hated the idea and shouldn’t do it followed by “It’s your wedding but…..”. GRR!!!!!

Not at all! When we announced we were getting married. My brother said, "thanks for that," because his fiance has been pushing to get married. Now they are eloping in a month and I hear, "we don't need that kind of wedding or those kinds of things. My parents tell me "it's my wedding, but I can discuss it with or around my brother."
Like most couples getting married, we have waited for this, have been planning and are excited. It sucks to hear people say that

Ugh so frustrating! I keep getting the "it would have been so much (cheaper, easier, etc, etc) to just elope!" Or "that's why we eloped"

Drives me nuts!

I didn't get the "it's your wedding, but . . . " I got "your wedding is going to be the most unusual people have ever been to"

View Quoted Comment Ayyy ayyy how do you respond to that.

View Quoted Comment Ah that’s the worst!!!!! And those comments can inspire you to elope. So sorry 😞

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"Then it will be memorable" lol

View Quoted Comment That’s an excellent response. I tried it just now when I got another iteration of….It’s your wedding.

Every time we run something by my mom it's usually "Oh that's expensive" or sometimes "It's your money". It is annoying.

View Quoted Comment Yassss!!!!! So the same!!! My personal favorite is: “Are you trying to put on a show??? Who are you trying to impress??? Sigh 😔

View Quoted Comment I was asked that by a former friend

View Quoted Comment So rude. I’m sorry.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Long story about her attitude, but I just couldn't handle her stress and drama.

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Yikes. I understand this is your 2nd. I would reply, "Excellence is what I strive for, and this wedding will reflect my elevated style. Anything less would not be me". That's just a nice way of saying "I'm grown, and I have my money right". Our tastes, expectations, and wallet change over time.

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Did it work for you, I hope?

You know, some people don't understand when to hold their tongue but I hope they get their manners back - if they ever arrive at the wedding!

First of all, they don't have to plan your wedding to enjoy it. Lastly, you could try telling them outright, "If it were your wedding, you'd have a say but I got this." Sometimes, you're not going to get the perfect responses from your family but they need to know when they're messing up with you about something that you value.

View Quoted Comment Ayyyy to some extent. My mom is on the struggle bus if understanding it’s my wedding. I’m just going with it!!! But I will continue to loop that response every time.

View Quoted Comment Ahh I was referring to more of folks (such as wedding guests or extended family who have to have that 1 unnecessary disgruntled comment) disregarding your feelings when it comes to how you want your wedding to be! I didn’t quote Tina’s reply, as that was what I was directly referring to. My mistake!


And I get you because I probably would take it in stride if it were my mom & I were in your shoes too! It’s tough to think about the relationships I had in my adult life that I introduced to my mom, but it took awhile to find the RIGHT PERSON you’d want your parent to know makes you happy.
Look for the joy, as it sounds like she just wants to make sure you get what you really want or need. But again, you gotta be like: “I got this”.

View Quoted Comment You make a good point but it’s curious to me how this wedding is bringing up and surfacing so many issues that I have with my mom who attempts to be very dominating over my choices. But I realized that she wants to be apart of the decision making and feels left out now that I have a planner who is also her friend. So I have found ways to include her this week. Here she is making centerpieces.