“It’s your wedding but….”

View Quoted Comment Wow! That’s a great way to say it!!! Thanks!

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Yeah, I don’t know about you but my mom struggles with talking about the emotional stuff. She was born in the 60s, grew up in a different country, but was the youngest of 11. So I imagine it was tough for her to manage how she felt and she tends to always be what I used to think was “random”, “spontaneous”, or some people might call “extra”. But it’s all perspective.
I had to learn to acknowledge that the way she loves me is by gift giving, perhaps your mom offers love in a way that is best expressed verbally or through service in some way. I think it’s a good sign she is helping with the centerpieces.
And I’ll tell you one last thing a mentor told me when I first started college about parents: “At some point, they have to learn how to be your friend and not your parent.” This far, it’s ringed true and each day you both have to figure out how to do that as both the parent & the child.

View Quoted Comment Such a beautiful response. I dialed into the underlying intent of her behavior and it’s wanting to be involved. The other part is acting out what was misled by her parent as a child. I’ve decided to roll with it. But I’m clear on not repeating patterns with my own son.