I've been engaged 3 times

This is my third engagement and definitely my last!

First time was at 18, I realized after three months of living together it was a mistake; second time at 22, we were engaged for two years and less than a year from the wedding when I called it off. Ultimately I oddly ended up with my best friend, sometimes it's extremely bizarre to me to think "Oh my gosh I'm literally marrying my best friend!" But Ive never been so happy or so excited in my entire life. I know this time around he is the one. The previous two engagements I had little doubts and the second time toward the end I was completely terrified and realized he obviously was not the man for me.

I was 39 when I met FH. I felt 'defective' not being with somebody. It was around age 35 that I decided I was going to be happy and plan out my life in the state it was. I dated, I hoped and glad they didn't work out. Then I went on this date with this guy, had a nice time, he was nice. Went out more, we wanted the same things and bam..engaged. I am happy I waited for the right time. If i had met FH before 35, even if he was the 'right' person, I could not say it would of worked out. I think I had to fall a lot to finally be ready.

I was engaged once prior at 18. My ex started out as everything I wanted. Basically your young, teenage romance. Tons of passion. But he became really jealous over the years. He would check my time slips after work. If I were 5 minutes late of the map quest accurate time it took to actually get from A to B, I would get my ass chewed and accused of cheating. Yes, it was that ridiculous. It lead to him choking me out several times, yet he came home with hickeys and that was fine? After he pulled a gun on me, I moved to another city to get away from him. Worst experience ever. The worst part was I loved him to the core of my soul, he was just poison in my life. I'm so glad I found an amazing man who proves there are still good men out there. FH has never done as much as call me a bad name. I'm truly lucky.

I too have been engaged multiple times and called it off and square peg round hole sounds the nicest on why. I also assume everyone has a relationship like FH and I. I'm always sad when I see red flag posts and try to give the best advice possible but know I had to learn the hard way myself

I was married before too and can remember wanting to break up with him earlier in the day that he proposed. There were countless red flags (I was his 3rd wife, he had a terrible relationship with his kids, he had 2 bankruptcies, etc) but at that time in my life I guess I just felt like there wouldn't be anyone else that would want to marry me. We were so wrong for each other and I was okay until we moved 14 hours away from my family. When it was just the two of us, I was miserable. I do feel bad for hurting him, but he was very selfish and claimed he was perfectly happy in our relationship even though I lived in a black hole.

I would never have considered getting married again if I wasn't absolutely sure I had found the right person. I feel so lucky and even though this happened later in life, I never would have found him if all of that wouldn't have happened. It's hard to say if I would go back and change things.

I too was engaged to my high school sweetheart. We dated for about 8 years, broke up, had a baby, got back together, and got engaged. I felt it was "the right thing to do" since we had a kid together. We had some stuff planned, but I still hadn't done MANY important things. Two months-ish before the wedding, the wedding I couldn't do it anymore. Guess it was good since we still hadn't even bothered looking at invites at that time! lol. I look at my DH everyday and am happy.

Speaking of red flags, People in glass houses....

I dated the same guy for 7 years. He never treated me as he should. I thought if I loved him enough, if I tried enough, if I was better... But the issue was not with me. I finally decided to end the relationship. Then I started dating, which I thought was fun and maybe I would not look for something serious ever again. I met FH and everything changed. He and I just fit together. We are a team and yeah relationships are work, but it feels kind of effortless most of the time.

When I read about drama on WW, FB or wherever I can relate so much. I want to just yell "YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS!!" But, I guess everyone has to figure it out on their own. I know I did!

Im sorry to hear your previous engagments didnt work out, seems like its for thr better know... I hadnt ever been engaged before this now, but I often wonder the same thing when I see some relationships. I dont try to make out like I know out all, I dont, but i do know i dodged some big hairy bullets before meeting my FH. Ive gotten very lucky. I hope those who are in the wrong relationships find out before its too late, but its on all of us to know what is right for each of us.

This is my second marriage, and a totally different experience than the first. Then I was 28, all of my friends were getting married, and I thought it was time to start a family. He was perfect on paper, and the red flags were so subtle that our total difference in family cultures (me: had a super liberal single working mom, him: huge conservative religious family in which none of all of the women were stay-at-home moms) didn't cause issues until we had a baby and I wanted to go back to work when she was a year old. Then the shit hit the fan. We had moved out to the burbs and I was so isolated and we were so miserable that it fell apart. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through, and I'd never, ever, remarry without doing some serious soul-searching about the relationship BEFORE planning a wedding. I think the red flag is posting your relationship troubles on the internet in the first place. Small gripes (I've done it) are no big deal, but serious issues? It seems disrespectful and a breach of trust. Respect and trust are the foundation of my relationship with FH. If I need to talk to someone about our relationship, I do it with my therapist, lol.

AndixLyn, what are you referring to?

I think as women, the longer we're single, we can start to wonder if something is wrong with us or if our standards are too high or unrealistic. My friend is going through that now (and I have too in the past). But as Breezy (BreeCheez) said, it's important for us to trust our intuition and know and do what's best for us and what's best for our soul. Our women's intuition is there to protect us. We need to own it and trust it. I think we end up happier when we do.

This will be my second marriage. Looking back, I wish that my ex-husband had had the courage to confront his demons and call off the engagement. It would have saved him a lot of unhappiness in his life in general and it would have saved me a lot of pain and sorrow when it ended.