Jack and Jill gifts

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That fact that you are comparing and stating it is similar to someone beating their wife is actually disturbing.

Also please simmer down with your legal/illegal rant... that is utterly ridiculous as I am sure almost everyone on here has done something illegal in their lives i.e. sang happy birthday to someone while videotaping it, downloaded music, used public wifi, ate something in the store while shopping before purchasing It, walking across the street not in a crosswalk aka jaywalking, driving over (or under) the speed limit, etc..

So before you start pointing fingers, lets make sure you're perfect first... unless you're the police... which I doubt because it appears to me that the only kind of police you are is the fun police... oh, and while you're at it why don't you call the police and shut down some children's lemonade stands this summer (technically against the law).

View Quoted Comment It is also long against wedding etiquette to use a fundraiser to fun your wedding or honeymoon. But for those who do not know about fundraiser Jack and Jill parties, it does not hurt to know that they are illegal. Some people care.

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Back when I was younger I had also turned down invitations to weddings before due to the cost, now I just pay it, as I know it is expected. My circle also thinks that if they're in the wedding the gift should be more than that.. which I am torn about, since the people in the wedding spent so much already..

I have seen some horrifying garter toss things and vowed to never do it at my wedding either.. and the bouquet toss

but it is traditional and people like that..

I've been to an Orthodox Jewish wedding where the bride and groom got married, then "disappeared" to consummate their marriage before returning to receptions which was operated into a side for men and a side for women.. they did not see each other the rest of the night..

if that were to happen at one of our weddings and we disappeared to have sex, it would be considered tacky and disturbing lol, but different people do different things and if people want to have stags or jack and jills they should be allowed to without being talked down to, reprimanded, and being judged. The sooner everyone can start accepting other people and people who are different than them, the sooner the world will be a better place. The world is made up people who have different customs and people should be accepting of people who are different than them. We are all brides going through a fun and exciting times in our lives and we should be able to do so without feeling judged or shamed by our customs and traditions.

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Luckily I am marrying a math professor so I should be able to easily explain it to you. Groomsmen promote and share the stag information on social media... most people have approximately 1000 friends on Facebook and about 6-10 groomsmen. Of that **** people that the stag gets promoted to, a portion will buy tickets. Lots of people buy raffles tickets, even people who are not actually attending due to the AWESOME prizes (the hard to get PS5, new Xbox) that they hope to win as you can win the prizes even if you are not in attendance. At the stag, there are competitions and games that people can CHOOSE to pay to enter if they want to.. most do because they're competitive and because it is fun. They get beer and food included, sometimes the bar will have a specialty "stag shot" that they will share portions of the profit with the groom. The groomsmen will often provide a raffle item or money towards a raffle, like how a bridesmaid would do for a bride. It is a large party, not a fancy sit down thing, so often the food is bbq, chicken, cookout type stuff you'd get from a catering place that is not too costly. Hope that helps.

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Yikes, there's no need to tear down the ritual practices of Orthodox Jews in order to make a point about Jack and Jill parties...just saying

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You're totally right. I worded that wrong and should not have added 'lol'. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. WW won't let me edit or delete it so I flagged myself in hopes that they delete it.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your input Krissy. I had asked WW to take down the post because it wasn't helping anybody and because of all the rude comments and they wouldn't. I had gotten the help I needed with the first few posts. My friends and family are excited for the Jack and Jill. Some have asked for the registry and some haven't, which was what my post was originally about. I understand that in most parts this isn't a common tradition but in CT it is and we shouldn't have to feel ashamed or embarrassed because of it. I am definitely going to be using this as an example to my students that I teach as well. Not to be judgemental of someone because they have different views. Those of you that took the time to help and actually answer my question, Thank you all for your help.

Go back and read it. I didn't compare abuse to Jack and Jill. ... In replies others made first, they said, how can I judge this wrong, because a lot of people do it. And I said, a lot of people beat their wives, and a lot watch and do nothing. The fact a lot of people do it does not make it right.


That was the comparison: that just because a lot of people do it, does not make something right.

View Quoted Comment Judith just making that sort of comment is unacceptable. Just because you don't agree or understand what I am doing doesn't mean you can compare it to people beating wives. That is disgusting.

View Quoted Comment Go back and read it. I did not compare J and J to beating wives.
The first response ( and some later too, to my saying it was wrong, was people who said, it can't be wrong because a lot of people do it. And I picked the heinous thing, as an example that just because a lot of people do it does not mean it is right....
A lot of people beat their wives, and otherswatch and do nothing. But just because a lot of people do it, does not make it right. That is what I said. Very different. Meanwhile, through the whole threat, some people repeat, it is okay to do what is illegal because a lot of people do it. A lot of us don't think so.

View Quoted Comment 100% agree with all of this, as well as your second comment. Red envelopes are a thing in Chinese culture...literally left on the table for people to put money in. People who aren't Chinese wouldn't do that so should we tear down people who are? Because it's not part of our culture?

View Quoted Comment To be honest it seems like you're judging people for not giving expensive enough wedding gifts

View Quoted Comment I never anywhere in my original post talked about money or a minimum requirement for gifts. I asked for advice on wording. Some of my family members and friends have asked for the registry info and bought a ticket for the jack and Jill and some bought a ticket and thats it. I am just looking forward to having a fun time and celebrating with my friends and family. I honestly don't need the negativity and wouldn't be judging others for traditions that they have. If I can't relate to a post or contribute to a post in a positive and constructive way I just keep scrolling. We are brides and have weddings coming up or we were already brides and understand how stressful this can be. The negativity and shaming on this post is unacceptable and unwanted.

View Quoted Comment I wasn't replying to you...

Damn.. never been to a Jack and Jill, but I want to now! Sounds like a great opportunity for both sides to get to know each other in a fun, non-stressful way! I like Maryanne's wording suggestion for those who inquire about a registry. Have a great party!

View Quoted Comment Thank you, they are fun! Often times its the men doing a Stag but we didn't need a shower, so we decided on a jack and Jill!