Jack and Jill Party? i am confused?

A Jack and Jill is a party where you have people pay admission, give gifts, and raffle off items in an attempt to make money to pay for your wedding. It's tacky. If someone offers to host a shower for you, you could simply ask if they'd be comfortable hosting a wedding shower (which is coed,) instead of a bridal shower (women only.)

You can do a Jack and Jill many different ways. It’s not tacky, most of the time it’s the same guidelines as if your FH were to have a stag. Tickets are purchased and that’s usually considered the “gift” because the proceeds usually go to you. Although I have been to Jack and Jills that we’re styled more as a bridal shower, just including both sides, and they didn’t sell tickets. People gave gifts at that one because there were no tickets. The Jack and Jills that sell tickets generally have food, alcohol, raffles, and games. Some do a DJ and have dancing. I’ve been to a few and they’re a lot of fun, I never viewed them as tacky because you don’t HAVE to contribute money in any other way other than the $25-30 on the ticket (if they sell them). I actually prefer Jack and Jills because I HATE bridal showers, they’re SO boring most of the time whereas a Jack and Jill is more like a big party. We are doing one rather than a bridal shower and stag.

Could you do just a Co-Ed “Wedding shower” maybe instead of a Bridal shower?

IMO you can do whatever you want. There’s a lot of old weird rules around weddings that people are changing up nowadays because times have changed. Bridal showers are based on traditional gender norms and there’s not necessarily a “right” way to do them. Plus, whatever gifts you get for the bridal shower are really also gifts for your FH because he’ll be using them too. Seems reasonable for him to be at a party where he’s getting gifts too!

You could just say it’s a wedding shower rather than a bridal shower

I think the term has different meanings depending on where you are. In my area (NJ/NY Metro Area) a Jack & Jill is just another way of saying co-ed. These showers (bridal/baby) run the same way as an all-female shower (no tickets/raffles) with food, alcohol, games (with prizes), and opening gifts. The only difference is that people from all genders are invited rather than just females. When I came on here, I learned that Jack & Jill means something different in other parts of the country. To be safe, I would just say "co-ed" rather than Jack & Jill, as there isn't really a double meaning for that (that I'm aware of).

View Quoted Comment I agree. This is what I plan on doing.

I agree with the PP that said make it how you want to. Certain things people will consider tacky. It is all about your crowd. Honestly I did not know hosting your own bridal shower was tacky until I started coming on this forum but for me if someone threw their own bridal or baby shower I would not care or say it was tacky. I think like others have said maybe do a wedding shower or engagement shower which is usually co-ed.

Our BP threw a "wedding shower" - as we wanted something that was co-ed. (I get spiky about things like that... and, if anyone expected me to do the cooking... well, I burned my ankle when someone else made me pasta, once...)

There were games, food, and just some time to hang out and enjoy being around friends. One of my BMs made a HUGE cake - themed to the Harry Potter scheme of the party - and we had a blast. (The cake was so gigantic, I had to take it into work.)

Friends of ours are having a wedding shower. It’s a co-ed bridal shower. Since the no gifts version of a bridal shower is a bridal brunch, you could call it a wedding brunch (or lunch or whatever) if you don’t want gifts. If that part doesn’t matter, just call it a wedding shower. That way, no one will mix up what you mean by “Jack and Jill.”

You can also have a wedding shower or a couples shower. My invitations say couples shower so that all men know they're invited!

What you are looking for is a "couple's shower". We are considering doing the same if we get to have one.

A shower is generally a small gathering of the bride's or couple's closest friends and relatives. A Jack and Jill is generally a bigger event that you sell tickets to - there are raffles, door prizes, etc. Some guys, instead of bachelor parties, have 'stag' parties that are the same concept.

I hesitate to call it tacky because, like any other regional thing, it depends on your audience. In New England, where I grew up, it's very common. In the South, where my fiance is from, it would be consider strange and probably rude. But that's not a universal rule. You just have to know your guests.

I've never heard of a jackand jill party being a way to raise money for your wedding as someone stated above, but if you want to have a party combined with your FH you could do a combined bach party! That's what my FH and I are doing because I'm close with his groomsmen and I only have 2 bridesmaids anyways so we are going roller skating and a movie night back at our place!