This is just a rant because I’m so tired of have to closely work with immature passive-aggressive people. It’s like highschool all over again and I absolutely hated highschool! My workplace has mostly women, of whom most are single and actively mate hunting; I say that because that’s the best way to describe it. They constantly lament their single status, express the trials and tribulations of dating, cry over the dearth of “good men”, pester coworkers into introducing single male friends/family members, and shamelessly flirt with contractors and delivery workers who are just coming in to do their job.
One of the loudly single coworkers, FH calls her “bucket crab” because she’s proven herself time and time again as the sort of person who will drag others down with her. If she’s having a bad day, everyone else needs to have a bad day too. She does well enough with her duties and we get work done but it’s hard for me when personal life stuff inevitably comes up. She’s only gotten worse since my official engagement. I know she’s had a long line of unsuccessful relationships including one that blew up during the pandemic. But I couldn’t not tell her about my engagement because hiding it would have been weirder since she knows FH and I have been together a long time (which she also mocked too).
I’m a private person and I know most people don’t care about your wedding but I don’t get why they keep asking about it then! Crabby coworker will constantly ask me about how wedding planning is going and what I’m doing for food/flowers/dress/rings/etc. I’ll give her a reasonable answer that she will make fun of and mock in the office messenger program with the other single women. If I don’t tell her anything or give her an evasive answer, she’ll still mock me for being “dumb” or “indifferent”. Her comments have been bad enough that our IT (who monitors the chat records) have reported her to our boss and HR for misusing work programs and bullying concerns. I don’t care about the cruelty of her words because I don’t have credence for them. It’s still really annoying to have to deal with her nasty attitude. I honestly can’t tell if she wants to hear about my engagement or pretend it doesn’t exist.
She’s just as mean to the other engaged coworker (ex making fun of her for wanting a big family while also expressing bitterness that a lot of her exes told her they hate kids and never want one). I get the brunt of it because we’re in the same department under the same boss. I think the company doesn’t want to let her go because she’s older, been with the company for a long time, and probably a smattering of nepotism. Needless to say, I’ve been jobhunting. I don’t appreciate having to deal with “crabs in a bucket” trying to pull everyone else down. My married boss has been doing her best to buffer us and tries to reassure me coworker will lighten up once I’m married based on her own experiences. While I appreciate my boss trying to keep the peace, I don’t think it’s a reassuring thing to hear.
I know other engaged coworker was upset because she wanted people to be happy for her. I don’t need that because I’m happy with FH and our families and it’s enough for me. But I’d like to not have to deal with a miserable crab when I’m just trying to do my job.
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