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Just Said Yes October 2019

Jealous moh

Kimberly, on June 2, 2019 at 9:15 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 11

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I have a very small group of friends who are all drama free, knowing this I thought I have the perfect bridal party. I recently met with my two bridesmaids and the MOH to discuss all wedding detail,( decor, dresses, hair& makeup) but mostly the bridal shower. Leaving the meeting I felt like everything went great. I was so glad that my few friends get along well and couldn’t wait for my upcoming bridal shower. The following day I get a lengthy text from the MOH who decided she no longer wants to be MOH, in the wedding or even a friend because one of the bridesmaids brought a notebook to take notes during our meeting. She felt like we didn’t even need her since my other friend seemed like she had it all under control. She couldn’t believe that I won’t bring the food and the decor for the shower myself which she seemed to be infuriated over. I don’t think she understood that the bridal party was chipping in to get these things. Which one of the bridesmaids brought up multiple times but she just wasn’t catching on. She said she felt used which I’m assuming is because she was letting us use the cabana at her place for the shower. Which we would be using because she offered it, I never asked. So now accepting someone’s nice offer to host is somehow using them? How can someone get so upset over nothing? I feel like I did nothing wrong but apologized anyway letting her know that I would never use her but she thinks it’s best that we are no longer friends. Has anyone else gone through something similar? This is just ridiculous and now I have to find a replacement bridesmaid.

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Lauren, on June 2, 2019 at 4:58 PM

VIP June 2019
Future Mrs. K · on June 2, 2019 at 9:27 AM
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If she is willing to so easily lose your friendship over a notebook then you are probably better off without her honestly. Unfortunately, weddings a lot of the time from what I have seen and in my own experience, can bring out the worst in some people, especially a lot of jealousy. You picked her to be your MOH so I am assuming she is/was a really good and close friend. If she can't be happy for you and is letting her jealousy get in the way of even wanting to continue a friendship with you aside from the wedding, I really think you are better off letting her go in the long run because she clearly is someone who truly does not want the best for you.
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Dedicated June 2019
Alyssa · on June 2, 2019 at 9:27 AM
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My maid of honor and friend of 6+ years decided my wedding was too much work and she didn't want to be a part of it or in my life anymore.. I didn't even have her throw me a party. Her only job was to get her dress and to write a speech. Whatever, who needs friends like that. My new maid of honor has all written a speech and wants to help out as much as possible so good riddance I say.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on June 2, 2019 at 9:35 AM
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Completely agree with this. She clearly has her own issues to work through. You don’t need to replace her.
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VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on June 2, 2019 at 9:36 AM
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I agree with PP. The only thing I would add is that you do not need a replacement BM. If this situation arose with someone you felt was a super close friend, what may happen with someone you choose just to add a body. Just a thought. Regardless, sorry that you're going through this!
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VIP August 2019
Futuremrsk · on June 2, 2019 at 9:37 AM
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If she is letting go of a friendship over a nite look, then it's really no loss to you. Like others have said, sounds like she has some personal issues to work on. You dont need to replace her, just have the 2. I hope it all works out for you!
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Super July 2024
Fwbride · on June 2, 2019 at 9:52 AM
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People are telling you what you don’t need to do, I say do what you want to do. If you want to ask someone else to be MOH, then do that.
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on June 2, 2019 at 10:04 AM
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That is not nice of her. However I would see if it had to do with money. Maybe she could not chip in and felt used that way. Maybe that is why she wanted you to bring the stuff?
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Expert August 2020
Heather · on June 2, 2019 at 10:06 AM
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I’m sorry you’re dealing with this during what is supposed to be one of the happiest and most fun times of your life! I can’t believe she would react that way, it sounds as though she felt your friendship was threatened or was maybe looking for a way out because she was unhappy with something in her life or jealous of your happiness. It’s really sad that weddings seem to bring out the worst in people. I fully expect she will try to get back in your good graces, but it’s not right that she was ready to throw away your friendship like that.
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Dedicated April 2020
Wendy · on June 2, 2019 at 12:13 PM
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I agree with pp Heather. There is likely something underlying that is bothering her or perhaps her own insecurities are coming out. But for her to throw away the friendship over something so trivial, may be a tell tale of how much she values the friendship.
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Expert June 2019
MrsJohansson · on June 2, 2019 at 4:53 PM
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Well said.
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Savvy October 2020
Lauren · on June 2, 2019 at 4:58 PM
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She is not worth the stress. If she wants to break off her friendship with you because of something that small, it's her loss. Not yours. Find a friendly acquaintance to replace her and bump one of your other bridesmaids to maid of honor.
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