Jeans or no jeans to a wedding?

Until recently on this forum, I had never even thought that someone would wear jeans to a wedding (unless intentionally casual). I wouldn’t dream of it, but clearly there are people who do. If they’re already telling you they will, that’s tough. What type of venue is it?

I hate when people wear jeans to a wedding and I can't imagine why anyone thinks it is okay.

View Quoted Comment A classic, formal venue. It’s a ballroom. They are only telling us they are going to wear jeans because they want to start drama with us and we told them if they keep it up they will not be invited any longer. They want to make the wedding about them.

View Quoted Comment I know! It’s appalling!

View Quoted Comment I think you’re best not inviting them if they are already starting drama.

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Wow I just read your other comment that they want to wear jeans because they want to cause drama. The second they told me that I would've said I'm sorry you feel the need to cause drama, but we will no longer inviting you to our wedding. Then I would hire security or tell your wedding coordinator that John and Jane might show up uninvited and if they do to please ask them to leave. There is no way I'd want someone at my wedding that wants to just cause drama. They sound like immature little kids. If you don't mind me asking, how are they related to your fiancé?

View Quoted Comment That’s what we’re thinking it’s been going on for a while !

View Quoted Comment It’s his mom ,brother , dad and step mom. We told everyone no jeans we gave them the dress code! It’s still 2 years away and we got an early start on the dress code so we could avoid issues but his family chimed in and didn’t agree with our choices ! We have some people who said they would be security!

Does his family normally behave this way? Honestly it sounds like he needs to set some boundaries with them.

Literally how will affect your day if they show up in jeans? I just do not understand the need of some couples here to dictate what their guests put on their own bodies. Wear what you want to weddings, let others to do the same.

I also want to point out that in many places jeans at just about any event is normal for some people and I know plenty who think it's crazy to have to buy clothes specifically for a wedding when every other one they've attended jeans are fine (just like many ppl think it's crazy to wear jeans).

It really depends on the venue. Jeans to a wedding a ballroom? No. Jeans to a wedding in a barn on a farm? Sure. Every couple's style is different. Many grooms on here wear jeans; there's nothing inherently wrong with that. But agree with you that they have no place in a ballroom. But at the end of the day, who cares. The only ones who will looks silly are his family, and if their intent is to "start drama," that doesn't happen unless you and your FH allow it.

I would never wear jeans to a wedding but if one of my guest does I wouldn't really care, it doesn't effect me in the slightest

I come from a circle that does only cocktail or black tie weddings, yet I understand different regions/cultures have different norms. So in my background, jeans might be OK at a backyard wedding, but probably nowhere else. You don't have to spend a fortune on your outfit, but it is a special occasion 🤷🏼‍♀️ If a guest were to show up in jeans in my family, it would be super embarrassing for them and they would definitely stand out.

View Quoted Comment Obviously this depends on where you live, but 90% of the venues we looked at when choosing didn’t allow jeans for any event so if someone had shown up in them they would have been asked to leave by the venue. Casual wear isn’t appropriate for weddings unless the type of wedding suggests it’s casual.

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Venue required dress codes are different than the bride and grooms personal preference. In that case it's perfectly appropriate to note on the invitiations "XX church requires that shoulders are covered" or "Jackets for men are required at XX Country Club" or whatever the case is. That is totally different than "requiring" no jeans just because as bride/groom you like it more.

I would never wear jeans to a wedding but I have seen plenty of examples here where the groom/groomsmen are all in jeans, so clearly there is a wide variety of styles and customs. I also can't agree that any piece of clothing inherently implies a lack of respect (or the opposite).

It sounds like (from your other comments) that this is about waaaaaay more than jeans. So, I would stop focusing on clothing and let your future spouse (it is his family after all) sort out the relationship issues (in the interest of family harmony not related to weddings). If he cannot improve his relationships with his mom, brother, dad, and stepmom in the next two years, then the answer about whether or not to invite them will be very clear.

Two years is far too long to stress out about anything, let alone what someone might wear to a wedding. So, give yourself the gift of not caring about this any more; it's simply out of your hands.

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I find it really sad that is own mom, brother, dad and step-mom are acting like children. They need to grow up. Your wedding day isn't about them nor should they try to make it about them. If I were him, I'd be livid that my immediate would even make such comments.

I’ve never seen jeans at a wedding until I became a part of WW. Every culture is different but that would be seen as very disrespectful in mine. I would never because of how I was raised but it seems common in some circles.

Jeans at a wedding is absolutely appalling to me! Even for a more casual wedding, I do not find them appropriate.

View Quoted Comment I know ! It’s a ballroom and the dress code is very strict as it is!