Jeans or no jeans to a wedding?

View Quoted Comment You and me both sug! Unfortunately our venue called us and told us that they are selling the place , luckily we didn’t put any money down and we decided to go semi formal but still absolutely no jeans !

I 100% don't believe jeans are appropriate for a wedding. We had asked our family to dress "Sunday best" and specified "no jeans." My cousin still showed up in jeans. I didn't really care at that point because she had a good excuse but still, it was a church wedding with an upscale venue.

I am totally against jeans in a formal setting. A casual or semi-formal one I understand but otherwise, no. I specified on our website that we'd like no jeans and everyone looking their best (it is a formal ballroom wedding).

View Quoted Comment If the individuals are going to be in their photos, it most certainly does matter

Does your Fiancé agree with them? I think it way too casual unless you are climbing to a mountain cliff to exchange vows. But your future husband must clearly , publicly, say that only those who dress to at least business clothes or Sunday best, not jeans, will be able to see you married and attend the reception. Which means you may need to tell FI if jeans are allowable, you, the dress, the ring etc, will not be there. His family needs to show more respect, or you don't want to join it. Others feel differently, and that is fine. But this is your wedding and FI's, and you are setting the formality.

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OMG jeans in photos....the horror!!!! (that was sarcasm).

This is not a big deal.

View Quoted Comment Perhaps for you it isn’t. If I pay good money for my photos and someone shows up in jeans, they won’t be in the photos. Which is perfectly fine with me. There are definitely aspects of wedding “etiquette” I don’t approve of or follow…as the bride I get to decide how to handle those things. The OP, as the bride, is looking for opinions so that she can decide how to handle her situation. For most ppl, the juxtaposition of jeans among formal wear in photos would ruin photos that they’ve paid hard earned money on. But no one is suggesting that you should follow suit.

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I'm sorry, that's just ridiculous. I would never wear jeans to a wedding, btw. BUT if someone is comfortable doing that, it literally has no effect on your photos. Photos should be about the people in them that you love and want to remember. Seems a little shallow that anyone would exclude a person because they don't' approve of their clothes.

View Quoted Comment And some would say that the behavior that this OP described is selfish & childish 🤷🏻‍♀️ It doesn’t sound like she described ppl that could not afford to dress nicely for her day…simply that they didn’t want to. Inherent in “love” is the display of respect…and that’s not what she described. Wearing clothing that is appropriate for the occasion (whether that is church, work, or wedding) is a sign of respect.


And continuing to say “it has no effect on your photos” does not make that statement true, no more than it does for you to say “it doesn’t matter what someone else wears.” Like I said, for this bride (and for many others) it does matter. Given that widespread opinion, her complaint is not ridiculous, or absurd, or shallow. She seems to be requesting (a) validation (b) constructive feedback on how to handle the issue.
Also, I am not suggesting you would wear jeans to a wedding, only that it would be ok for you as a bride if someone did. And that’s ok, but not the OP’s position.

Tacky, agreed. I had a family member come to my wedding I'm JEAN SHORTS.....Mortified!
Someone will always do what you ask them not to. I would rather them come than not because of clothing but I also hope people respect your wishes. If you gave options, they should adhere to the request.....its not as if you said black formal tux only...I'm with you!

In SE Pennsylvania where I live, it would 100% not be acceptable to show up to any wedding, much less one where you're related to the bride or groom, in jeans unless they specifically told guests that jeans were permissible. Even if I received an invitation to a wedding with a casual dress code, I would wear a dress and FH would wear a button-down and nice khakis. If the couple tells everyone jeans are okay, that's fine but around here jeans are a no-go except for the most casual of casual weddings.

I hear the posters who say "jeans don't affect your wedding day" - but OP has also told us this is the groom's family, who are specifically saying they are going to do this even though it is against their son's wishes. This goes beyond just what you wear to a wedding and crosses into the kind of boundary-crossing that threatens their relationship with their son. The jeans are merely a symptom of the relationship. My grandmother loves her jeans and dresses casually for 99% of occasions - but for my wedding, she is buying a formal dress because it's a special event and she cares about me and wants to look nice for pictures.