Just getting started... help!!

What are the laws in your area for guest capacity? Take a look at eventective.com for venues. You will have more freedom to save money in general with a blank slate venue where bring in your own caterer and vendors because you will not have 5 figure minimums on food and drinks alone that are you are required to meet with an all inclusive.

Sit down with your fiance and decide what your priorities are. Do you want the guest experience (good food, guests do not open wallets to drink, good dj) plus quality photos? Decide what is important to you and toss out the rest. Avoid the word wedding whenever possible to save money and get higher quality products. Restaurant corporate catering is usually amazing food and a ton of it for a fraction of the price of a regular caterer.

Skip favors. Skip champagne.

Thumbtack.com and Yelp for main vendors.

For 100 ppl expect to spend about 15k for a modest wedding

Congrats!!!

We personally did not want to do the all inclusive route because of the restriction you'd have on personalizing things. If you aren't the type A planner and would rather have someone plan for you, I think all inclusive is definitely worth it! I agree with Michelle that you need to decide what is the most important and that's what you need to prioritize! Skip the social standard and do what makes you guys happy!

Congrats on your engagement! There really is no set reasonable amount for a wedding. It all depends on the budget you and your FH come up with, the cost of living in your area, and whether you want to go all out or just do the minimum. There are pros and cons to all inclusive venues vs using outside vendors. Pros: everything will be more coordinated since everyone has worked together before and you don't have to go hunting for vendors. Cons: you're restricted to their options and pricing and will likely have to meet a price minimum (which shouldn't be hard at all with 100 people). If you use outside vendors, you can find vendors that exactly fit your vision and you can sometimes get things for cheaper than with an all inclusive. Cons: you have to manage planning and communicating with 5+ vendors yourself.

Just for you to get a perspective, my venue provides in-house catering/bar and kitchen staff and we're responsible for hiring the other vendors. With doing this, I don't have the option to do a buffet style dinner, I have to use the liquor they have, and I have to pick from their entree options. We're fine with all of these things, but it may not work for someone else. Definitely take a look at the options provided for all inclusive venues to make sure they have everything you envision before committing to them!

Also keep in mind that price depends on *your* location. Someone in a large metro city will not pay the same as someone in a small town. You can cut costs by tossing out things you are not interested in. If someone says 'x costs $y" that only applies to where they are located, not where you are. So make sure you shop around locally by getting price quotes online or over the phone.

Many people say you have to manage all individual vendors yourself if you choose to not do all inclusive. That is not true at all. That is one of the major duties of a day/month of coordinator who will make your day run smoothly behind the scenes. Do not confuse this with a venue coordinator who only cares that venue regulations are followed and will not set up your placecard table or anything else you need done.

For reference, we had a wedding 40 minutes outside of Nashville in Lebanon for 64 people (us included) completely DIY (Venue supplied tables, chairs, and the space) and we spent $12,000 2 years ago.
Staying outside of Nashville will help keep your cost down. I also found that being able to choose my own vendors helped keep the cost down.

Our guest list is around 90 & we’re spending around $15k at our venue. Our venue has an all inclusive package that we opted for. We live in northern AZ & our venue is 2.5 hours away so having an all inclusive venue was a must. This includes set up, tear down, linens, place settings, decorations, centerpieces, caterer, cake, flowers, DJ, photographer, invitations, day of coordinator, servers & a bartender. There’s a budget for the cake, flowers & invitations- anything over we pay. They have signage, ring pillows & baskets for us to use.

As Michelle says, cost depends ENTIRELY on location.

We got married in NYC, for what, in our area, was "budget". Our budget would likely pay for an extravagant wedding where you are, simply because of cost differences.

If you go above to "planning tools", there's a cost calculator that can help you find the average prices for things in your area. Super useful for gauging vendor value.

That said, always do the math on all-inclusive vs. modular for yourself - you never know.