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Just Said Yes October 2023

Just need to rant…

Taylor, on April 18, 2022 at 3:25 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12
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The other day, my fiancé was texting his sister and she said something about her BF of about a year & a half will “be a flower boy in your wedding or the officiant” (we aren’t doing flower girls; one of his friends is being flower boy!)
He replied with, “(friend) is the flower boy and (officiant name) is gonna be the officiant.” She said, “It was a joke. I’m not included tho🥴” (We haven’t asked anyone to be in our bridal party yet. However, I have already said that I’m having my 4 closest friends and not her).
When he told her that her & my sister are going to be the “something blue crew” (my sister is helping me day of and I had planned for his sister to help the guys!), she responded with “Interesting, Love being a Nobody 🙄”
I just don’t know how I feel about this! His sister & I are not close whatsoever. We don’t talk at all and when we do, it’s a few sentences. I have always felt like she never liked me because “I took away her baby brother”🙄. I just don’t understand - like she’s 26 but (in my opinion) doesn’t act like it. I just never understand why people assume they’ll be apart of it🤦🏻‍♀️😂

12 Comments

Latest activity by Taylor, on April 20, 2022 at 12:20 AM
  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    It's definitely annoying when people make assumptions that they get to make choices about your day, and even more so when they get upset when their plans for your day aren't what you want. We're not having kids at our wedding, but we had plenty of people tell us how cute their kid was going to be as our flower girl/ ring bearer. One even asked when they should get their kid a tux and if we were paying for it. My advice would be to just stick to your guns, and if grown adults want to pout about it then that's their problem.

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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    She sounds super immature and clearly thinks she's entitled to something that she isn't. I think he needs to stop talking to her about the wedding, or else she'll find a way to complain and make everything about herself.
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    First, let me say that you have absolutely no obligation to make her a bridesmaid, at all. But, as his sister, I can understand why her feelings are hurt. She probably always assumed she would play some role in his big day (beyond assistant). I was not part of my brother's wedding either, my feelings were hurt, and I know I also acted like an immature jerk about it, Lol. Are your fiancé and her close, and if so has he considered making her a groomswoman? Of course, he has no obligation to do that either. You probably just have to let her be upset about it and process her feelings on her own time.

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  • L
    Devoted April 2023
    Lucy ·
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    While I agree that you don't have to make her a bridesmaid ( your fiancé could ask her to be a groomsmaid or even his "best maid" if he wants her to be in the wedding) and I also agree on the fact you don't have to accomodate her about her bf being a flower boy or the officiant, I don't side with you on this "I had planned for his sister to help the guys!": She doesn't have to do this if she doesn't want to. It's a 2-way street.
    Assuming you sis is happy to help you on the big day but that doesn't mean his sis will want to do this too for the guys or anyone else.
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  • T
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Taylor ·
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    Oh I agree! I haven’t asked her to do anything, that was just my plan. If she didn’t want to, so be it - she doesn’t have to. I’m perfecting fine with that.
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  • L
    Devoted April 2023
    Lucy ·
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    Okay!

    Sure, she's triying to make your and your fiancé's day about her and her bf but the " Love being a nobody" says it all. You also assume she doesn't like you, so I'm not.sure why she's excpecting to get a 'big role' or a role at all?

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  • T
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Taylor ·
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    Yeah, I have no clue…. I don’t speak to her and she doesn’t speak to me. At the most, it’s a “Hey! I like your shirt. Where did you get it from?” kind of conversation. She’s 26 and I’m 20 so there’s somewhat of an age gap. Thankfully, my FH is okay with me not having her on my side and he doesn’t want her on his either
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  • Kristen
    Expert February 2023
    Kristen ·
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    Siblings often times have a very strong bond. I would say try and be patient with her bc it sounds like she just wants to know that she’s still important to your FH. He could involve her in his side of the bridal party if he chooses. I would say that this is for your FH to handle and not for you to stress about.
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  • Lynn
    Dedicated April 2021
    Lynn ·
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    I had this problem when I was planning my wedding. One aunt on my then fiancé side assumed that her grandson was going to be part of the wedding. We both said no we have it all planned my kids ,my brother and sister and his sister and his niece will be in the wedding. She said well if his niece is in it then my grandson should be part as the are all cousins I said sorry doesn’t work that way.
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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated August 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Can she do a reading at the ceremony? My husbands brother wasn't a groomsman so we asked him to do a reading. That way she is part of the wedding without being in your wedding.

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  • Molly
    Expert August 2021
    Molly ·
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    I understand how you feel. My SIL (who just turned 18) got upset with my husband because she wasn't a bridesmaid. She "wanted to be on the stage" (which we got married in a garden so there wasn't a stage she just wanted to be in an attention spot). He explained that it was up to me who I wanted and he also did not want her on his side (they are not close). She ended up escorting their shared grandma (they're half siblings) down the aisle. I'm sorry she's making assumptions like this. I would just step back and talk to your FH about some other things she could do if she wants to be a part of your day and then go back and talk to her. However, if your husband doesn't care if she has a "special role" then I would just ignore her and move on with planning.

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  • T
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Taylor ·
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    Thank you! I have asked him if he wanted her on his side but he decided not to!
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