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Super March 2022

Just Need to Vent!

JA, on April 22, 2021 at 8:24 PM Posted in Style and Décor 0 37

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Y'all. I'm just so flustered. I just needed a space to vent.

LOOONNGGG story short I settled for a venue I didn't like, hoping that as we worked on getting vendors and coming up with an overall look that I would come to like it and get excited. Well, as the weeks go on I keep hating it more and more and more, and now it is to the point where I cry just thinking about it. (Seriously, I cried while talking to a florist when she pulled up pictures of the venue!)

My fiance knows I don't like it, and in turn he gets super upset everytime we talk about the wedding. This is supposed to be exciting and instead we've just stopped talking about it because everytime we do we both get sad.

At this point we signed the venue contract 6 weeks ago. we've paid over $14,000. (the venue deposit, plus catering deposit since they have an on site contracted caterer) plus deposits for the band and photographer/videographer. Basically, I'm saying all of this because it shows how there is no turning back or changing the venue.

So what do I do now? I drive myself crazy because I keep seeing venues that I love, but can't have. I already compromised on the wedding date (I wanted fall of 2021, he wanted March 2022, and I compromised) and I hate the venue. Yes, I am SO excited to call him my husband and to get married, and have our first dance, etc etc. But whenever I think about how the pictures will look, how the venue will look, that the feel of this venue is dark and moody and I want bright and airy... I just can't help but get sad and wish we could do something different.

My hope is that some other brides have hated the look of the venue and have a wonderful story about how they made it work... please??

Otherwise I have 324 days of crying and anxiety ahead of me...

Thanks for listening.

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37 Comments

Latest activity by JA, on May 14, 2021 at 11:25 AM

Expert February 2020
Givemeallthepups · on April 22, 2021 at 8:54 PM
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I would make sure your florist and photographer are aware of your feelings on the venue. The florist can recommend lighter florals to brighten to room up. The photographer can also try to focus on closer photos rather than a wide angle that emphasizes the venue. I would also look into light linens.

Do you have any photos of the space?
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 22, 2021 at 9:00 PM
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Agree with PP. also what does your contract say with the venue?? If you cancel venues typically only charge for the initial deposit. Your wedding is far enough out so typically venues will return the money.
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VIP May 2022
Ava · on April 22, 2021 at 9:05 PM
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Do you have photos of the venue? We could give specific suggestions if we could see the space.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 22, 2021 at 9:05 PM
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If the venue won’t give you your money back, make up a huge lie to the venue. Something that will make them have to give you your money back for fear of media backlash....if you hate it THIS much that’s pretty major. Your venue shouldn’t bring you to tears bride....
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Super March 2022
JA · on April 22, 2021 at 9:13 PM
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Here are some pictures. I get that some people think this is so nice and pretty, I get that. But it's not at all what I wanted for my wedding.
The florists I've talked with I've mentioned my vision. But there's only so much they can do.
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Devoted December 2021
Kristin · on April 22, 2021 at 9:13 PM
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I second the flowers and other decor. Also, lighting! Adding up lighting or any other type of lights can greatly change the look and mood of a space.
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Super March 2022
JA · on April 22, 2021 at 9:15 PM
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The contract very clearly states multiple times that the deposit is non refundable, unfortunately
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 22, 2021 at 9:22 PM
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How would you feel about making up a big lie… I’m talking like a pretty significant lie. Like a lie that they wouldn’t be able to say no about returning your deposit… Or else they feel the wrath of local news 😂 I hate to even suggest it, but I mean this is pretty serious. You literally hate your venue. There’s got to be something you can do to make it look better. I can’t imagine a venue that charged a $14000 for the initial deposit to be unworkable… Do you have any pictures? Decor companies can work WONDERS! I mean wonders! They can make your place look light and bright! Hanging floral everywhere throughout white draping will make your indoor venue look like it’s an outdoor venue
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 22, 2021 at 9:26 PM
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Wow! OK so I know you hate it, but this is pretty gorgeous. Definitely not what I was expecting to see here. I was picturing an indoor venue with ugly carpeting and drop ceiling… What is it that your looking for? Like do you have any pictures of your dream venue??
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August 2020
JM Sunshine · on April 22, 2021 at 9:30 PM
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I have heard about brides putting their venues up "for sale" to other brides due to cancellations, etc. through wedding brokerage sites. There might be a bride dying to have your venue on that date and willing to "buy you out". I don't know how it all works, but might be worth looking into. I'm sorry you don't love it and hope everything works out!
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Super March 2022
JA · on April 22, 2021 at 9:38 PM
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Oohh definitely looking into this
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VIP May 2022
Ava · on April 22, 2021 at 9:42 PM
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Ok, so what specifically about the venue do you not like? And what is the vision/vibe you are wanting for your wedding?
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Expert March 2023
Catherine · on April 22, 2021 at 9:43 PM
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Wow, that’s beautiful and I’m so sorry it’s not your style. I totally get it. Here are a few tips:

Flowers will totally brighten up a space. Having a midday wedding when the sun is right above those clear ceilings will make the venue look more open. Maybe try to visit a few times during different times of the day to see what it looks like under different nature lights. Up lighting can also bring a ton of light to a space. Maybe you could add white drapery to make it seem more flowy. If all else fails, definitely see if another bride will purchase your venue and wedding date for you
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Super March 2022
JA · on April 22, 2021 at 9:45 PM
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Thanks for your thoughts, I am talking with florists and drapery people, but so far with low hopes. We unfortunately aren't allowed to have the ceremony any earlier than 530pm.
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Expert March 2023
Catherine · on April 22, 2021 at 9:47 PM
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I’m so sorry. Definitely see if there’s a bride who will buy out your venue. Or talk to your venue and see if you can just lose your deposit and start from scratch somewhere else.
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Super March 2022
JA · on April 22, 2021 at 9:49 PM
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The vision is light, bright, neutral, airy. Almost "garden wedding" ish. as much white and light green as possible.
Things I specifically don't like are the black marble staircases and fountains, black and golds through the floor, and not pictures, but they recently installed pale yellow (WHYYY) thin drapery around the entire space. It seriously looks like cheap bed sheets. Basically all the things we cant change!
I already made the decision to be married on the opposite side of the room, so the black fountain and stairs are not the ceremony background.
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Expert February 2020
Givemeallthepups · on April 22, 2021 at 9:59 PM
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I would fill it with as many light florals as you can. Also, once you get chairs in there, no one will notice the marble flooring.
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Super November 2020
Natalie · on April 22, 2021 at 10:11 PM
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I think you can absolutely turn this place into a glamorous or modern garden party!
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Expert March 2023
Catherine · on April 22, 2021 at 10:12 PM
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I think if you put a ton of flowers all over those stairs and by the fountain, the garden wedding vibe (that’s my vibe too!) will definitely be there! Drape white fabric from the stair case and place some lanterns on the floor with fake candles in it. Put an aisle runner down
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VIP May 2022
Ava · on April 22, 2021 at 10:38 PM
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Ok so I see the problem then- those are definitely things that cannot be changed. If you have the ceremony after dark, you could dim the lights (hides the non-changeable aspects) and use lots of candles to make it softer and romantic. You could also use bistro lights (as someone above provided pics of) or soft uplighting. I would meet with an event lighting specialist to see what ideas they can come up with for you. Unfortunately, it’s always harder to work against a room’s decor than to just embrace it. If you are 100% not feeling like embracing the vibe of the room, you may want to consider trying to find another couple to take over your date (even if it means offering it at a discount). Or it may be worth your while to just forfeit the deposit if it is going to be more costly to make the room what you want than it would be to just forfeit the deposit and get a venue that requires little decor.
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Just Need to Vent!

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