Just Need to Vent!

Sounds like you wanted an outdoor wedding? This is a gorgeous venue, but I can see it’s more appropriate for an elegant, romantic aesthetic.


I don’t hate my venue, but there are things that I had to figure out how to work with that have been very stressful (dark wood, red walls, small space). I had to change the vision in my head to something more appropriate (which I was willing to do). Once that happened I found it much easier to find ideas that I liked and that would work with the venue. Like the previous posters have said, I’m using my colors & flowers to brighten the space. you can also use trees, lights, and candles. If you wanted to embrace a complete change in direction, it would be gorgeous if you wanted to go more with a starry night theme.
But if you can’t let go of your original vision, you’re probably just going to be super resentful & have a lot of regrets. Find out what the cancellation policy is...but, as an attorney, I would suggest you don’t lie to get out of the contract. Most places will allow you to find a couple to take your spot or they will be willing to let you out once THEY find someone and you’ll have a small charge. You have options and you also have time. I seriously doubt it will take them long to find someone for who loves this venue.

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This is really unhelpful advice. Lying isn't usually a good plan. And lying as blackmail (hinting at media backlash) to try to force a company to refund a deposit based on no wrongdoing is just...problematic.

View Quoted Comment Well then maybe venues should not keep $14,000 for providing zero service when a wedding is a whole year out.... of course it’s not the ideal option! And of course lying is often/always a bad plan. But it’s certainly an option that’s on the table. She hates her venue. Her venue makes her cry. This is her wedding day. I don’t think anything other than moving the most important day of her life to a venue she like will change that.

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I understand that you don't have a high opinion of vendors or venues in general. But no one is forced to sign a contract that requires large, non-refundable deposits. Willfully lying and dragging a company's name through the mud (not saying the OP would ever do this!) all because of regret over signing a contract would be reprehensible behavior. I believe you and I won't ever see eye to eye on this, and I don't want to derail the OP's thread, but I felt compelled to speak out against dishonesty.

View Quoted Comment Right, and when a venue requests large non-refundable deposits like that even though the wedding is a year away then that’s on them. I highly highly doubt OP would ever even consider this option. But the venue also did not care about putting up that hideous yellow sheeting on the walls either and how their client might feel about it. The venue also does not care about keeping $14,000 from a young couple without providing any services. It’s not like the wedding is three months away. I think if I was in the situation where my venue brought me to tears and caused arguments every time my fiancé and I discussed it, and then put up that hideous sheeting, yeah, I guess I would try to do everything that I could to go elsewhere. Really not sure how anyone manages to sign a venue contract at a place that they absolutely hate, but it happened and this is her situation.

View Quoted Comment While lying could get her into more financial trouble than it’s worth, you bring up an excellent alternative. She could potentially raise the issue of the yellow sheeting (or drapes or whatever that was) as an issue. Essentially, it’s a material change that alters the contract. Of course, they may just take it down for her wedding...but that would at least solve that aesthetic problem. But reading the contract should give her all the information she needs. I have 2 sample contracts from venues we were considering & then the contract from my venue. All allow for the option of backing out if you find someone to take your place. That’s not easy, but may be an option. Also, like you said, it’s a year out and weddings are piling up. People are booking venues 2 yrs out. Maybe a chat with the venue manager/owner could resolve the whole thing🤷🏻‍♀️ Contracts suck! 😂

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https://people.com/human-interest/texas-newlyweds-who-publicly-bashed-wedding-photographer-over-125-fee-ordered-to-pay-1-million-for-defamation/

I do not recommend lying. The venue did nothing wrong. They spelled out their terms and OP agreed.

OP, Im sorry you are unhappy with the space. Perhaps a different perspective would help; the fabulous food, flowers, band and guests will eliminate the brick and mortar. Truly though, congratulations on your upcoming marriage and best wishes.

View Quoted Comment Well I would never suggest for her to make up a lie about the venue! I would suggest for her to make a lie about herself or her fiancé. Like an illness or something. aside from the fact that the venue completely changed the interior with that hideous yellowish sheet thing, that would be horrible to make up a lie about them.

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I totally agree. When you sign a contract you are making an adult decision (like getting married) and you need to figure out a solution that isn't illegal. Lying to get out of your contract is totally fraud.

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It would also be really wrong to make up an illness, accident, etc. There are people who ACTUALLY have to deal with things like severe illness or extreme personal difficulties and nobody had the right to "borrow" that to get out of a decision they made. Every time someone lies about something like that it makes a business less likely to believe or be able to accommodate someone who is actually having an emergency. It's so wrong to think that it's okay to lie just to get what you want.

View Quoted Comment Yeah.... Don’t care .... sorry, but when it comes to something like a venue that put up ugly sheeting and not returning $14000 on a place you hate when it’s over a year away imo its all fair game at that point. There is NO such thing as “borrowing” someones illness or accident. No need to try to victimize others that have no part in this. But I’ll give this one to you and claim ownership on being a terrible person, because I think its pretty terrible when a business refuses to return any amount of someone’s $14000 for a wedding over a year away when they EASILY can rebook at that point and I’m totally willing to stoop to their level. Now she has to pay EVEN more for new draping throughout. That’s easily an extra 5K she didn’t initially think she had to spend.I guess I just don’t care enough.

View Quoted Comment I can’t say that it has never crossed my mind to lie to get out of a contract, so I don’t think that suggestion makes you a terrible person. It’s a normal response to what feels like an oppressive situation. I don’t think she should go that route, but you don’t deserve to be attacked for bringing it up. We all have our opinions on here, it’s up to the OP to take or leave what doesn’t have value for his or her circumstances.


That being said, we have no indication that the venue is unreasonable (other than the fact that it’s hella expensive!). It doesn’t appear that she’s discussed any potential problems or solutions with them. That conversation at least probably needs to happen before she makes any decisions or causes herself any more stress over it. She may be pleasantly surprised. Maybe not. Either way, it would give her some direction on what she has to do.

View Quoted Comment U could have your florist make greenery chandeliers and hang them from the ceiling. Depending on the colors of lighting and greenery it will help cansle out the yellow drapes and dark floor.

View Quoted Comment I know it doesn’t help but think your venue is absolutely gorgeous. The color scheme, the symmetry and clean lines is so “me”. If you want to brighten the room you’ll have to really invest in decor. Bright flowers and bridesmaids dresses, linen, lighting etc is really the only way to do it unless someone buys your date from you.

Could you put a flower/greenery backdrop in front of the stairs? I know it won't block them completely out, but if there is anything immediately in front of it and the photographer is taking pictures on the same level it may help block some of it out so it's not as noticeable.

Ok so first, take a deep breath! I'd say relax, but I know weddings are stressful and even more so for you. Do you have a link for the venue or photos you can post to show us what it looks like? What I will say is you can make it beautiful and it can work!! I didn't have the same situation, I loved my venue. But I will tell you I did not love my dress. And let me tell you, looking at my wedding photos makes me sad because I didn't get the dress I really loved. That makes me far sadder than thinking about the venue. Honestly, most of my photos you can't even tell what the venue is. (My photographer sucked...that's another story.) But my point is this, if you feel great in your dress, with your hair and makeup done and you're feeling yourself and your husband on your wedding day (and let's be real, you will ), I promise you, you won't even notice the venue or care about it afterwards. I know you're stressed, and I'm so sorry about that! Try not to fret though, there is time to make the venue you booked everything you've dreamed of!!! If you haven't hired a wedding planner, I highly recommend considering one!!

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I posted some pictures earlier in the thread. We have a planner and actually just hired a wedding designer as well. Moving forward, trying not to get too caught up in it. I still hate it but I can't change anything at this point. Thanks for your kind words!