Just venting

We are now on our third wedding date, finally coming up next month. I have literally been through hell with my bridal party, one girl who was supposed to be a bridesmaid couldnt come to the second date because she already had a trip planned then we ended up having a falling out. And now another girl literally just told me (a month before after being committed to this for well over a year) that she just got a new job and cant come anymore. Which honestly hurt so much more than the first one because she didnt even bother to tell me, I reached out about something wedding related and then she told me. On top of all that, most of my friends dont live near me and cant travel on a plane due to Covid. So my FH will have his friends there and I will literally have one or two, plus we cut our list a lot. Personally, I feel like whoever ends up going is who really cares about us and none of this BS should matter. But it sucks when you feel like youre pretty much begging your “friends” to attend your wedding and kinda embarrassing if I have basically no one there, even though I know its because were in a pandemic and if our original wedding happened the way it should have none of this wouldve ever happened