Kid free reception - Hire a babysitter?

I think you should speak with BM &MOH and see what their thoughts are. Most people would not want to use a sitter they haven’t vetted and hired on their own. I think if they’re traveling, it’d be kind to let them bring their kids if that’s what they want. Maybe they don’t even want them there and are planning to have grandparents babysit. Chat with them and see their thoughts.

I agree with Cool, I'd speak to them directly about it and how they feel. It also greatly depends on how young their children are. Typically, newborns and nursing infants are the exception to the 'no kids' rule, but a lot of parents find ways around that, like pre-pumping a milk supply, having grandparents watch the child etc...You never know, they could already have made plans for child care! Most parents welcome a kid free wedding with open arms, so don't feel bad about wanting one, or asking them for their opinion/plan!

You can just not invite the children - that's totally ok. Your guests will figure somethin out. I disagree that most parents welcome a child free wedding with open arms. It's far easier to bring my children than plan for someone else to be with them especially when traveling. BUT, i'd never be mad that someone chose not to invite them. It's nice to get their take I guess, but you're also fine to just not invite - you dont' need to overexplain.

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Agree with this. Not every parent likes the idea of a kid free wedding. In some circles, kids are welcome but they are usually taught to behave in public, and finding a sitter is difficult especially if they have to travel and grandparents who normally babysit are also invited. Other parents do like a night out as adults. It all depends on the social circle.

Either hire a sitter for the entire event if you don’t want them there or leave them off the invitation.

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I probably should have been more detailed in my response so you and Lady would understand where I was coming from...

Our friend group is younger (Mid 20s-early 30s), and are all easy going, and they actually asked us if they had to bring their kids. When they were told we preferred they kept the kids at home, they sighed with relief lol. I guess it depends on the group, but our family and friends would much rather attend without their children, than invite them! It's def. not a one size fits all!

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I guess at the end of the day, its my day and they will figure it out. I just thought that offering to hire a babysitter (obviously someone I know and have vetted....) would be a nice gesture but I'll just leave it up to them to decide what to do.

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Offering to have a babysitter is a nice gesture for sure, but I'd have a conversation with them and see what they'd prefer. I know if it were me, I'd much rather leave my children at home with grandparents, or find a sitter I already know. To each their own, but it's nice to offer it to them and see what they say.

I would just be open with them about not wanting children present. I will say though that with that comes the need to be understanding if they choose not to participate in the wedding. As a mom, I’m never mad when people choose not to invite my children, but I’ve had to decline a wedding because of it before. I would have that conversation ASAP too that way they aren’t booking travel/paying for things without knowing.

It's really nice of you to think of that, but ask them first, they may already have childcare lined up. When I was a teenager I was on a list at some inns in my town (summer tourist area) as a babysitter and made so much money sitting in hotel rooms watching tv with kids while the parents were out. As a mom I wonder what on earth they were thinking LOL

In my mind, the only acceptable exceptions to a kid-free rule are the siblings and kids of the couple.
Making 1 (or more) exception(s) for other children is not a good idea, not even for flower girls/ring bearers.
The parents whose kids didn't make it would be,rightfully, offended with the risk of throwing a fit/starting a drama story.We are also hosting an adult only wedding, my fiancé has 3 step-siblings, all under 18 and none of them is invited. Both his dad's patner and his mom's are hurt and threw a fit but he said to both of them: "no exceptions besides our siblings (my bro and his sis who will be 16 and 17 at the time, so almost adults and of course, they know how to behave) means no exceptions besides our siblings".

And yes,providing a sitter is a 'must do' for yout OOT guests if they have yet to find someone to watch them.

From what I have read from other posts, people generally don't like to leave their kids with someone they didn't pick themselves. Just let the guests who have kids, know far enough in advance it's kids free and they will have time to find babysitting options.

As a parent, I wouldn't use a babysitter I didn't personally pick so I'd I went to a wedding where my daughter wasn't allowed I would probably ask my mom or mil to watch my daughter.

What we ended up doing was saying no kids… the main reason for that was so our bridal party guests didn’t leave early and could still drink/and have a good time. They all ended up bringing their in-laws with them in a separate room/attached hotel rooms and they watched the kids during the wedding but still got to see them the majority of the time

View Quoted Comment This is super helpful, thank you! I think that’s my main concern, I don’t want my MOH leaving early. I’ll make sure they know that and can figure it out.

View Quoted Comment Of course! They also were glad they did it because they all had a good time and as much as they love their kids it was nice to have a little night out for themselves as well. Good luck and congrats ❤️

If you want a kid free wedding, you should have a kid free wedding.

I would discuss with your MOH and BM. I would talk with them before hiring a babysitter. They may make their own arrangements (and feel more comfortable having people they know watch their kids) or may really appreciate you coordinating a sitter for them for the night.

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That's so funny, I was a standing babysitter for a hotel in my area as well back in the day! Of course it was always after several phone calls back and forth with the parents to make sure everyone was comfortable, but I guess times are just way different now!