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Devoted May 2023

Kids at Wedding

Ebony, on July 27, 2022 at 1:54 PM Posted in Planning 4 25
Hello everyone 👋🏾
My wedding went from a “no kid” wedding to “exception to the rule” wedding. I honestly felt I had no other option since my bridesmaids (only 2) have kids and unfortunately no one is willing to watch them (not even the fathers)

And my mother have legal guardianship of my niece, and she feel “she’s 11 she’ll be well behaved.”
I understand the circumstances but I also feel like it’s not fair that I don’t really have an option, especially since my wedding is a destination they just don’t feel comfortable leaving their children, even if they could find a baby sitter.
I don’t know how to feel. Can someone give me some advice or something to make me feel better😂I don’t want to be a bridzilla but I just wish I had 100% say in how I want things to go 😞

25 Comments

Latest activity by Ebony, on August 7, 2022 at 5:51 PM
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    You DO have 100% say on who is invited to your wedding. If you want your wedding to be adults only, you can set that boundary and enforce it. It just may mean that some people have to decline attending 🤷🏼‍♀️ We are also having a destination wedding and have made it strictly adults only. We understand that means some parents may not be able to attend, but that’s ok!
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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    Thanks, for the reply Smiley smile so our wedding is considered a "tiny" wedding. So we will have less than 20, maybe even less than 15. Those people are literally the bridal parties and parents. So, I understand what you mean, but I didn't want my mom or sisters to miss my wedding because they can't get babysitters.

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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    That’s completely understandable. You said in your post you didn’t think it was fair that you didn’t have a choice… I was simply pointing out the fact that you DO have a choice. You can choose to set the adult only rule and stick to it, and just accept that some people may not be able to attend. Or, you can choose to throw out the rule and allow children so that the guests you want in attendance will be there. Either way, it is totally within your power. You just have to choose which is more important to you – an adult only wedding, or the parents of these children being in attendance. Hopefully realizing that you are in complete control to make the choice will make you feel more empowered in the situation.
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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    Yeah, you're right...I definitely will have a lot of thinking to do lol

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  • Bailey
    Expert October 2023
    Bailey ·
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    I'm having a destination as well, and we did not say adults only but we only addressed the parents.

    Well, everyone assumed their kid was invited too...which kind of sucks, buuuut it is technically a vacation for our guests, and asking family members to leave the country (or state, depending on your destination!) without their child is IMO, a lot to ask.

    The reality of it is even if you said no kids, people are likely going to bring kids to a destination wedding. At the end of the day, I doubt you will pay any mind to them unless they're making a RACKET, in which I'd just approach the parents and address the issue immediately.

    Will it be worth it to have these important people there for your big day? Likely!

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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    Hey, thanks for the response Smiley smile
    Your response was very similar to my sister's. I’m happy most people I’m inviting don’t have kids, just about 3 kids will be there. 2 I’m not really worried about (my nieces) especially since they’re older. But the one child will be 2, so like you said I don’t want to hear them crying, making excessive noise, etc during the ceremony. But I’m sure we’ll figure it out because I don’t want important people missing such a big day Smiley sad And I want my guest to really be able to enjoy themselves and not worry about a child
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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    That definitely sucks that you're in that situation. While you do technically have a choice, it sounds like it means more to you to have those people there. Hopefully the older 2 of the 3 kids will be able to sit quietly. For the 2 year old, you could let their parent(s) know that there's an area they could take their child to if they get fussy during the ceremony. Most people have enough sense to remove children from the ceremony space if they start crying, but pointing out the area they could take their child to might be a subtle way to acknowledge that that should be the plan.

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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    That sounds like a great idea. That parent is apart of my wedding but her boyfriend would be there so I’ll make sure he knows to get up if he starts crying. Hopefully he doesn’t thoe.
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  • Kierra
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    Kierra ·
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    I'm allowing some people to bring their kids. I have a few kids in the ceremony and I don't want their siblings to feel left out.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    The problem with a DW is that not everyone will be able to follow the plans as set out by the wedding couple. The more relaxed your plans are, the more easily people will be able to fit in with them. Having a kid-free DW is a perfect example of that, as not everyone will feel comfortable leaving their kids and going to a destination. If you want the people there, you may have to relax your rules on this.

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  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Hi ok my wedding also is no little kids is permitted at the wedding me and my FH agree and dont want. So we ha e teenagers 15yrs and old and 2 of my bridesmaids is my daughter's and they are my grandchildren's both of them have under age kids. So they both have notified their fathers and told them now 1 will not be at my bridal shower and bachelorette party because of this reason on why she will not be attending that. And we will be away for 3 days as well so let them know what is excepted of them
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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    They definitely know what’s expected of them especially since I’m making an exception for them. It’s just unfortunate that no one is able to find a baby sitter. It takes a village to raise a child 😂😂
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  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Its sure does and for the dads not to step up is sad as well
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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    It definitely is
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  • Laura
    Dedicated September 2022
    Laura ·
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    You can always hire a sitter or guardian to watch the kids the day of so that it can be kid free. Depending on destination or hotel there would be options there.
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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    Oh wow I never knew that, that’s actually sounds like a good idea. I’ll make sure I look into it and talk to them about it as well if I do find something.
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  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
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    I've never felt DW and "no kids" mixed. I had a DW with my first husband in Vegas. We were able to get state licensed sitter for kids. The sitter came to the hotel and took care of the kiddos while the adults had fun. It worked well.

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  • Julija
    Expert October 2023
    Julija ·
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    You can always book a hotel room and hire a sitter there. Get activity books, games, snack to keep them entertained during the party.
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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    That’s a good idea. But I do feel they’ll be nervous about something like that
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  • Julija
    Expert October 2023
    Julija ·
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    That’s fair. I’m not sure where your wedding reception is being located. Talk to your venue and see if there might be a small room you can book and make it a game room. The kids will be closer, other guests can check it out if they would like, and you still have a child free wedding.
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