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Expert September 2019

Kids or no kids?

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Vanessa, on April 14, 2019 at 10:43 PM

My fiancé and I just got back from his cousins wedding. We were going to allow kids at our wedding but after tonight it is now up in the air... the kids tonight were all very cranky and irritable (which I understand it’s a long and loud event for children), during the entire ceremony there was a 3 year old behind us in our ear whining about not having a toy that was in the car, and when we got up to dance to one song and during that song kids ran into our legs 3 times during ONE song period... HELP! There are so many kids on my fiancé’s side of the family. We are nkw thinking to allow his niece and nephews. Their ages are 4 but will be 5 (ring bearer), 2 yo, and newborn, and his niece is 2 yo she is our flower girl. I need advice!!

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Expert September 2019
Vanessa · on April 15, 2019 at 8:20 AM
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Yes of course babies I agree!
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Super November 2019
Kristin · on April 15, 2019 at 8:25 AM
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We are just having our 2 - 7 year old nephews and 3 year old nephew (ring bearer/security). Our reception space also came with a small separate room just across the hall where we will set the kids up with a babysitter. This way they can be over doing their own thing and still have to freedom to come hang out with us (the older ones anyway). My brother and SIL are almost guaranteed to disappear over the course of the night leaving my parents feeling obligated to watch them so this way we don't have to worry about it. FH's friends will almost all have infants as well (seriously, 90% of his friends have knocked up their SO's - only 2 were intentional - in the last year) so although we are asking everyone to leave their babies with family, we understand that most are coming from out of state and might not be comfortable doing that and they can use the separate room as a "cry room" if needed.
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Super October 2020
Ashley · on April 15, 2019 at 8:30 AM
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We are doing no kids except those in the wedding which are our daughter and my nephew. My nephew will be 2 and my sister is having him picked up After dinner.

I want our our family and friends to drink and have fun and not have to worry about their kids.
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Master June 2020
Anna · on April 15, 2019 at 8:32 AM
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We are only having kids included in the ceremony. My step son who will be 10 (ring bearer) and a 3 year old flower girl.
My wedding party has a new born and two that will be 10 and a 13 year old.
After observing their behavior at a recent baby shower, I told my fiancee to tell his daughter( my bridesmaid) to get a sitter. It will disrupt the ceremony and they will be impatient because both of their parents are in the wedding party and will be needed for pictures afterwards. I'm hoping he honors my wishes.
Good luck to us all
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Dedicated September 2020
Cassandra · on April 15, 2019 at 8:47 AM
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We went to a wedding right before we got engaged and it was the same experience for us. When the kids in the room weren't upset they were running wild and the parents that brought them were constantly trying to keep them under control but unfortunately couldn't really enjoy their night.
We decided on no kids from the beginning (18 and older) and even though we are still a ways before we send out the save the dates, I have reached out to a majority of the parents to let them know that is what we are thinking. It may be an awkward conversation to have but a lot of parents understand and appreciate the night out as long as you give them enough time to plan for it.
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Dedicated November 2020
Cassie · on April 15, 2019 at 9:05 AM
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We are absolute having kids. I want to expose all the little ones we love to our special day! I couldn't imagine it any other way. Children learn from experiences, why not let them see a day filled with love, family and friends.
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Super October 2020
Talia · on April 15, 2019 at 9:15 AM
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We're going with no kids. My 4 year old cousin is our flower girl. If his cousins from California come, their 2 young boys are welcome of course since his cousin's parents will be at the wedding. Then his other 2 cousins, the one baby will be like 2 years old maybe, and the other being born this year will be 1 by the time we get married so I think that we will let them come as their parents will also be there at the wedding so there will be no babysitter at home.
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Savvy May 2019
Stephanie · on April 15, 2019 at 9:16 AM
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We're only having children that are in our bridal party attend. Weddings are expensive. And most people understand. Also a lot of parents think of weddings like a date night. So they're actually really happy to find someone to watch their little
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Devoted May 2020
Lizbeth · on April 15, 2019 at 9:32 AM
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No kids under 12 is my rule for my wedding, easy pease!
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Dedicated February 2020
Ansley · on April 15, 2019 at 9:34 AM
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I agree with this. We're having a child-free wedding except for FH's nieces and my goddaughter and her brother. One of FH's nieces will be our flower girl. The other niece will be born this coming July so we of course aren't asking my FBIL and FSIL to leave the infant at home. Same with my goddaughter - she's due to arrive in May. Her brother will be our ring bearer and his mom is one of my bridesmaids, so of course the baby is welcome if they want to bring her. We felt like it was the right thing to do since we're asking for their kids to be in our wedding - but no other kids are invited.
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Dedicated April 2022
Kate · on April 15, 2019 at 9:37 AM
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I think we're just going to have my fiancee's niece and nephew, my little sister, and I think that's it for kids. Also, have to take into account how much it'll cost to feed all the kids too and if the venue counts the kids in the guest count to see if that'll change the cost for the venue. I love kids but I think weddings are easier with less kids haha
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Savvy May 2021
Ellen · on April 15, 2019 at 9:41 AM
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An option if you want to have kids is to see if your reception has a space that you can turn into a kids area, our venue is turning our pre-reception area for the wedding party into an area for the kids.
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VIP October 2019
Jessica · on April 15, 2019 at 10:16 AM
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We decided on no children.. I didn't want what you described happening. I know some people may not come, but that was ok with us.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on April 15, 2019 at 10:29 AM
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You either include all children or opt no children completely. That is your choice, but I wouldn't start picking and choosing which kids can / cannot attend....because then things will get complicated.
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Expert October 2020
Futuremrsm · on April 15, 2019 at 10:41 AM
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I'm not having kids at mine. Not all the kids in the family are misbehaved, but the majority are so i know parents would just be chasing them around all night and not having fun. It's your decision but i feel like it would be less stressful and parents would enjoy themselves more
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VIP October 2018
Annie · on April 15, 2019 at 10:50 AM
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We originally planned for no kids at all, and then my in laws complained enough that my BIL and his fiance wouldn't have anyone to watch their daughter who was 14 months old at the time. We did change it to allow children under 2 at the wedding, which would've allowed up to 5 kids to come. Only 1 came and he left by 8 pm so no one noticed he was there. Overall I was happy with our decision and luckily there were no meltdowns.
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Master October 2019
Laura · on April 15, 2019 at 11:04 AM
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I can totally understand the reasons for not having kids there. My FH and I are allowing them, but for us the kids are mostly older, except for a couple. My fiancee has young grandchildren and he doesn't get to see them as often as he'd like and can't imagine them not being there. We're leaving it up to the parents. Or wedding is small, only around 75 people so I don't think it'll be to much of an issue
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Expert September 2019
Vanessa · on April 15, 2019 at 11:07 AM
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Yes good luck to us! Lol we may need it
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Rockstar April 2021
Alisha · on April 15, 2019 at 11:16 AM
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My FH and I discussed it and we are having the kids that are in the wedding party at my wedding. Discuss it with your FH and the two of you come to a decision.
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Super February 2021
Kayla · on April 15, 2019 at 11:16 AM
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Both FH and I have lots of kids in our families and for me I wouldn't be able to not have the kids there the moments the memories all that is priceless. We will be having kids, and a whole kid area with tables and activities and games I also have designated two people to watch over the children so parents can enjoy themselves as well. I don't see it being right to allow certain children but not all. To each their own. But it helps when planning on kids to plan for them to do something as well. You make plans for entertaining adults same goes for children. But the decision is yours and your FH and everyone will have to respect your wishes.
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