Kids or no kids?

View Quoted Comment We decided on two of his nephews being our ring beaters (they are brothers 4yo (will be 5) & 2yo), our niece will be our flower girl (2yo but will be 3 in nov. we get married in sept.) and her brother who will be a new born. Only our 3 nephews and 1 niece will be attending. If people can’t understand that the newborn is there because he is the sibling then I don’t know what to tell them. That’s that 🤷🏻‍♀️

We are encouraging kids to attend. However! We're having a daytime ceremony and a reception wrapping up by 7:30. There's a big, kid friendly outdoor area, and I'm providing activity packs for the under 10 crowd. I'm also being openly communicative with the parents invited about the amenities on site for kids, and encouraging them to bring whatever they need to keep their kid happy.

View Quoted Comment We have lots of kids too. Varies from little ones to 17 yo. Not all of the children are bad but kids will be kids and like I said at the wedding I attended last night as a guest I felt bothered. We love kids and we’re going to have all kids but our experience last night sealed the deal for us. It’s no one’s business to tell the bride and groom that they cannot have their nieces and nephews in their wedding party because no other kids were invited. Our plan was to have all children until last night. This is from personal experience.

View Quoted Comment This makes sense as it is a day wedding. Our wedding doesn’t start until 4pm and will end around 9/10? I think it would be a great night out for parents and I want people to enjoy themselves as well. I know I will get remarks but at the end of the day, it is our day.

I agree with you.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, that's not quite like a cocktail hour wedding, but late enough that asking it to be adults only is completely reasonable.

View Quoted Comment I completely understand. The last two sentences it my post were that it is ultimately yours and FH decision and every one will respect that. I have been to weddings where I have been bothered by someones kid. But I have been the guest to several weddings where my toddler was the bothersome one and it was understandable then too. At the end of the day kids are kids, not every day is a good day. As a parent of a small child I PERSONALLY don't see my self not inviting someone's children because of the chance they maybe in a bad mood. We also aren't having a stiffy formal wedding where I wouldn't want kids. Like I said it planning kids you have to have something for then to do and most people don't and it course when children are bored they are annoying! Especially mine. It is perfectly fine to not want kids. The wedding you went to did they have something planned for the kids to do while they were there??

While I will agree that a wedding without children is always the better party, I can't see myself barring kids completely. I plan to put my two nieces in the wedding, and my FH's niece will be 4 and attending as well. Because it's a destination wedding, I'm giving people with children the option to bring their kids behind them, but the hotel has a pretty good kids camp and offers babysitting as well.

Yet and still, if you don't want any kids at your wedding, it's better that you say so from now.

I see alot of people talking about a separate area for kids, and I think that that's also a good option. I actually remember going to a wedding like this as a child, where the kids had their own room at the reception. My mom didn't let me go, so I remember being super jealous.

View Quoted Comment Ha ha we just may hope it goes smoothly for you.

It's totally ok to invite some kids and not others. I would just recommend doing it in "circles". for example, invite your siblings children (nieces and nephews) but you don't need to invite children of friends or extended family. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I love kids. I teach middle school. I coach my daughter's soccer team. My fiancée is a teacher and coach as well. Although we would rather not have a ton of kids there, if a couple asks to bring them, we are not saying no. We just want those that we love there.

No kids. I have a 9 year old, and my brother has 3 children. They will be there, and are in the wedding, but no others. I've seen that at many weddings and as a mom was completely fine not bringing my child. It's date night! Allowing children would seriously inflate our guest count!

Ive decided to only allow the wedding partys kids for this same reason.

I wish I could say no kids completely besides the flower girl and ring bearer (his niece and my nephew) but his parents insist on having his niece and two nephews be there. Good and very active kids, but I just know it's going to be a lot for the parent (in wedding party) and his parents to have to watch all 3 of them all night. I wish I didn't feel that way with not wanting the kids there because they are sweet, I just know it's going to be hard to keep track of.

I myself have over 25-ish nieces and nephews (huge family, many siblings) so it's definitely going to be a hard no for me on intentionally inviting them all to come to the wedding. I'm also hoping that nobody guilts me into inviting my little nieces and nephews. <_< Plus I know the parents will appreciate a night away from the kids for the wedding.

I couldn't imagine not having had kids at our wedding. We wanted ALL of our loved ones there to celebrate, regardless of age. We didn't have any issues, but most were older at 8-15 or so. A couple smaller ones. BUT. We know our friends and family. We knew the kids that needed supervision would be well supervised and they were and their parents still had a blast! In your case, since you've seen the way the kids behaved at his cousin's wedding, assuming many of the same people would be coming to your wedding, I would say no kids and (almost) no exceptions. Like another poster said on here a few weeks ago, the kids aren't the problem, the parents are. If you know the parents aren't going to watch their children and are going to let them run wild, then no kids.

Does your reception venue have an area you can reserve for the children? Maybe you can have an older relative stay there to watch them or pay a teenage in the family to do so. I am allowing children at the ceremony but not the reception. There is a designated space for children at our venue but it was not in our budget. Honestly, people find baby sitters all the time when they want to party or have a date night so it is up for them to find someone for the night. No children, plus their chicken tender meals are like $20, save a few bucks!

I really wanted the family children there, but there are SO many (big Irish family, lol) that we totally would run over budget..... so we are skipping kids under, I believe, 18, other than our flower girl (our daughter), ring bearer (her cousin of the same age) and her other slightly older cousin, who's going to help keep them focused as they come down the aisle, as they're toddlers. I'm probably going to have my old nanny on site and then take them to the house after dinner/when they get grumpy. Obviously, the older helper can stay, since she knows how to behave herself.

We are opting for a no kids allowed policy. Thankfully we don't know many kids. At the last wedding we went to, one of the flower girls looked to be about 3 yrs old. She cried the entire time. Finally, one of the groomsmen (her father, I think), had to excuse himself from the ceremony and take her out. He literally missed 3/4 of the ceremony because of this. I am including my niece and nephew though as a JR bridesmaid and JR groomsman. By that time they will be 11 and 15 respectfully. They are very close to me and also very well behaved so I don't have to worry about them. If you're still on the fence, maybe give the OK for older kids (preteen/teens). Let's just be honest, no little kid wants to be at a wedding anyway.

I wish I could do no kids, but being that my immediate family have kids and my fiancé brother and sisters have kids, and his family will be at the wedding....no one will be available to babysit. -_- I'm so beside myself because I know some of the kids are bad. But I am debating on putting a kind note in the invitations to please control their children and if they can not, please don't bring them to the ceremony as a common courtesy. Is that a no-no? I'm just so sick to my stomach and just dreading that I will not be able to say my vows without having to hear a crying or screaming kid. I would never let my kids ruin someone's special day, you would think people would at least have the common courtesy of not ruining someone's wedding.