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Expert September 2019

Kids or no kids?

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Vanessa, on April 14, 2019 at 10:43 PM

My fiancé and I just got back from his cousins wedding. We were going to allow kids at our wedding but after tonight it is now up in the air... the kids tonight were all very cranky and irritable (which I understand it’s a long and loud event for children), during the entire ceremony there was a 3 year old behind us in our ear whining about not having a toy that was in the car, and when we got up to dance to one song and during that song kids ran into our legs 3 times during ONE song period... HELP! There are so many kids on my fiancé’s side of the family. We are nkw thinking to allow his niece and nephews. Their ages are 4 but will be 5 (ring bearer), 2 yo, and newborn, and his niece is 2 yo she is our flower girl. I need advice!!

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77 Comments

Devoted January 2013
Kat · on April 18, 2019 at 7:01 PM
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I don’t want kids either except for the flower girl and ring barrier and some cousins. There is a couple that said they don’t know who to leave the kids with.. I don’t want to tell them to get a babysitter because I feel that’s rude, but I didn’t want kids..
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on April 18, 2019 at 7:24 PM
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I tried to do something similar as a nice gesture for a postponed wedding last fall. I thought who wouldn't enjoy time off for an evening? The babysitters were people we knew and the kids were right there, on the premises just not in the loud area, where their parents could check in on them at any time. One of my bridesmaids said, " Surely I wasn't expecting her children to go with the babysitters? Her children are so well behaved and other relatives at the wedding could help." She totally missed the whole point. Duh! Now our reception is black tie, adult only.
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Dedicated September 2021
Anna · on April 18, 2019 at 7:39 PM
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No kids for us. My FH has a lot of cousins who will be around 8-10 years old and their parents really don’t know how to handle them. We also want the parents to enjoy the evening, it’s hard to do that with your little ones running around and whining. My little brother however , will be 13 turning 14 by the time we get married so he plays the role of ring bearer. So I’d say if they are 13 and older it’s a maybe, otherwise you will also spend money on little kids who won’t really appreciate/remember the moment and might ruin their parents time at your wedding. Which could stress you out at your wedding
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Dedicated September 2019
Rschlem · on April 18, 2019 at 7:49 PM
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We are not allowing kids bc we have so many children on both sides of our families it could’ve been 30+ children. With a guest list of 80! Nope! We also do not want children ourselves. There will be a few exception flower girl and her brother, newborn infant etc. but that’s basically it.
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Devoted July 2019
Future Mrs. McCully · on April 19, 2019 at 8:25 AM
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I have been to weddings with children and I have been to weddings without...weddings with children can be pretty awful because most of the parents do not tend to them and let them do whatever they want.
I decided no children at my wedding....(other than my nieces...I have 3...2 of which are in the wedding party)
#1. to cut the costs (my venue charges $15.00 per person over the okay'd capacity, $1.00 per person for ice, and plus the catering costs for them to waste their food anyways.....
#2. I didn't want to have to figure out ways to entertain them.
#3. I was not going to have any kids screaming or crying during my ceremony or special day and make me lose it because I am already going to be stressed as is.
#4. anyone that I am inviting that has kids will have more than enough time to find a sitter.
So I put the following on my invitation:
"Although we love your children we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the venue due to restricted numbers. We hope you see this as an opportunity to let your hair down and join the party with us!"
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Savvy October 2019
Caitlin · on April 19, 2019 at 2:04 PM
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Yeah no kids for us. I don't want my friends leaving early because they can't wrangle their kids. I also just have no interest in kids running around, talking/crying through the ceremony. In my opinion a wedding is no place for children. If people can't make it because their children are not invited, that is 100% fine with me.
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Super September 2019
Mrscolón · on April 19, 2019 at 4:53 PM
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We are going with no children! The only children who will be there are our two nieces (4&6) and our nephew (10 months), which they are all in the wedding. My FH's family has way too many children, so we basically chose to invite first cousins only and that helped make our guest list 21+.
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Super September 2019
Jess · on April 19, 2019 at 5:53 PM
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We are doing no kids. My FH's family is filled with kids but we made the personal decision not to have them invited. The only 3 kids were having is our 2 ring bearers and our flower girl. We know that might make some people upset but its your wedding! The only opinion that matters is yours!
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Just Said Yes October 2020
Srfnnrf · on April 20, 2019 at 2:09 PM
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My fiance and I were in a similar boat! We were going to only allow kids above 16 yo, but when we talked with family, they warned us that it might be a sort of contention within the extended family, and some people would not even come if they could not bring their kids. You also run the risk of some people bringing their kids anyway. If you can afford it, what my fiance and I are doing is hiring a couple of child caretakers that his sister works with for the night and we are having a "kids" area with crafts and toys and other things from the dollar store or other similar places, that way the parents can have fun and no one is offended. Fiance's aunt did this at her wedding and some of the adults even thought the kids area looked so fun! The kids will also be receiving a simple meal like pizza and chicken nuggets, not any of the steak/chicken/etc that the adults are having so that is cost effective in that regard.
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Savvy September 2020
Sarah · on April 20, 2019 at 2:13 PM
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We are doing older kids only. Like 12 and up. My fiance has a HUGE family and we're trying to keep it under 200 people, and if we let everyone bring their little kids we would be pushing closer to 230-250. Our venue limits us to 250 people. I also will one day LOVE my own children, but honestly- can't stand other peoples. LOL. Soooo big kids only it is!
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Savvy May 2020
Lakota · on April 20, 2019 at 3:27 PM
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We're aren't inviting children to our wedding for that very reason. We've found that (as guests) we have more fun at weddings without children than the ones with children. Ultimately, you guys get to decide what you want and don't want to do. Don't let anyone bring you down, whatever you decide to do.
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Just Said Yes November 2019
Debra · on April 20, 2019 at 4:08 PM
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My first wedding, we requested no children. It was a great idea. I love kids. The challenge was it was a long day and we wanted everyone to enjoy themselves. If your chasing a fussy 3 year old, that's not possible. Kids can be cute and adorable at weddings. However, after a long day, even we adults need a nap. LOL Now, at 59, I want my kids to bring my grandchildren. There are different thoughts about it. It's your day. It should be as you and your groom want it.
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Just Said Yes September 2019
Melinda · on April 20, 2019 at 4:17 PM
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I have my kids in my wedding plus the the ring bearer. There ages are 3, 8 and 10. I will have a separate kids table with crafts, games and toys to entertain them. Kids also love photo booths. I got the equipment myself so it's not very expensive and you can take photos with your phone. Plus with the hats, glasses and etc they have so much fun.
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Just Said Yes September 2019
Melinda · on April 20, 2019 at 4:19 PM
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Plus parents should give there toddlers a nap if they can before a wedding.
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Dedicated October 2019
Christina · on April 20, 2019 at 4:46 PM
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We’re not having kids either other than our own and even they will be leaving with a babysitter after we cut the cake. We put this on our website where our guests have to RSVP: “Due to space restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of 18.” Not entirely true but a good neutral way to not upset anyone.
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Devoted June 2019
Keiwana · on April 20, 2019 at 4:50 PM
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Ugh, I always vote for no kids.
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Dedicated June 2019
Mia · on April 20, 2019 at 5:04 PM
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We have gotten a lot of grief about not having children and we are still happy with our decision. Kids generally don't eat all of their food and our wedding is darn expensive also, I don't want the occasion to be about anybody but me and my FH. Inserting children can lead to the parents being distracted with keeping them in line and not to mention the endless comments and complaints because a parent can't or won't control their child. Stick to your decision. You will be happy you did.
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