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Dedicated August 2020

Kids vs No kids Reception problem.

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Q, on May 4, 2021 at 10:42 PM

So FH and I are having a black tie wedding. We agreed no children except wedding party (10 yr old flower girl, 12 year old ring bearer). FH is now saying his infant nephew is invited but the rest of the kids are not. He has also assigned his mom (my fmil) to watch the baby the whole time. Am I wrong to have literally flipped my S**T About this? The mother of this infant refuses to come to functions, holidays, and get together because she doesn’t get along with my future in-laws. The father is an usher and will be helping guests to their seats before the ceremony. Now I’m thinking my fmil won’t even be able to walk her own son down the isle and if the baby starts to fuss and cry she will have to get up and walk out into the hallway and miss part of the ceremony. Am I being unreasonable here? This is the one thing I asked for, and I have been bending and mellow about everything else— like adding more guests to the list while pushing my budget to the max. No kids is the only thing I requested. I want an intimate child free ceremony and dinner. I feel that I am catering to an infant who won’t even remember this. Sorry I just needed to vent. I’m trying to be accommodating but this is my last straw. I know it’s his wedding too but I’ve bent over backwards to make everyone else happy. I am paying for the majority of this and I feel like I dont even get a say. Fellow brides I need some feedback and perspective. Thanks in advanced. Love, a super stressed bride 100 days out.

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Dedicated August 2020
Q · on May 5, 2021 at 9:28 AM
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Yes to all of this. I’m spending about 50k and I just want an intimate ceremony and a a fancy but very fun adult reception. This is not the time to show off the baby at my wedding.
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VIP August 2021
Katie · on May 5, 2021 at 10:23 AM
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No kids means no kids, however some believe that a baby under a year is an exception to the rule. But if the mother of the baby isn't coming then I'd say no to the baby as well.
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on May 5, 2021 at 12:36 PM
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Not being unreasonable. If you made the decisions or no kids, then you need to stick to that. Tell your husband you think having no children is still the best option. If the babies mother does not want to come because she can’t bring her baby, then that’s one less meal you have to pay for!
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Dedicated March 2017
Barbara · on May 9, 2021 at 3:08 PM
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Truly one of the most bizarre issues I've heard in a while. A photo op with an infant at a black tie event? Has FH ever actually been around an infant? Inevitably, they cry, poop, pee or throw up whenever you don't want them to. Whatever his reason for wanting the baby there, help him climb back aboard the reality train. Why is he so willing to introduce the stress and unhappiness to you, the baby, and the rest of the family and guests? You agreed to no kids other than the bridal party. Just say no.
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