Knot.com and Registry - New Home Fund?

Don't set up a fund. People who want to gift you cash will do so at the wedding. No fees will be taken out.

I think theKnot charges a 2.5% fee since that's what the credit card companies charge them so they charge the fee to your guests since their reasoning is "Your guests love you and want you to have 100% of their gift so they're more inclined to pay the fee." I'm not sure how true that is but I was bored the other day and stumbled upon their money registry.

Besides that, I don't have any advice. Generally these funds for any reason are rude etiquette-wise but I decided to stop caring and just be informative. Hope that helps!

If you have a very small registry, most people will just give you a check or cash anyways. I wouldn't set up the fund as they take a percentage of each gift as a fee.

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Okay, that is what I thought, but didn't know if it would look rude to just have a few items on the registry with the intent of wanting to deter people from giving physical gifts.

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Not rude at all! If you end up having a shower though, I would try to register for enough items to cover the people invited to that. You can always register for upgrades for things you already have (flatware, sheets, towels, robes, knives, camping stuff, vacuum)... because I do think it's a bit rude to have a shower and not have enough gifts for attendees to purchase.

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My shower will literally be the day before my wedding. Wedding is in SC and we are all from VA and it was the only time to get us all together. I don't even feel right having them get gifts for me and turn around and get more gifts for me the day after at the wedding. I hate that we decided to have the wedding in another state (his family is there).

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Do you like to cook? I've been to a recipe shower and it was kind of cool. Everyone brought family recipes and they were combined into a "newlywed cookbook". Or you could just call it a welcome party rather than a shower so that gifts aren't expected or implied.

View Quoted Comment Have you already sent out invites for the shower? I would probably call this a bridal brunch or something similar. I agree it's a little odd to give gifts two days in a row but that doesn't mean people won't. I think you have gotten good advice (and taken it well!) to just have a small registry and people will understand to give cash.

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Then don't have a shower! A shower is a gift giving event and it is expected that you will have a registry with a variety of items/prices large enough to cover all of the guests attending. If you don't want to receive boxed gifts for whatever reason you should decline a shower.

If the person hosting your shower is open to the idea could you suggest having a bridal lunch or welcome party the day prior instead of a shower? Are you having a rehearsal dinner? Maybe the host could throw this for you instead. There are lots of parties that can be held in your honor that are not tied to gift giving, a shower is not one of them.

Requesting money in any manner is tacky and rude. There is no polite way to do it. If people want to gift you cash they are smart enough to know how to do so without being told (and charged a fee). Cash registries are gross.

I think funds of any kind are rude. Just my opinion. No registry gets the point across. However I would register for some things because some people are against giving money (which I don’t get) so then you can at least try to ensure you actually like the gift.

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Invites are already out apparently.

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Apparently my FMIL already sent out invites and even put that I was registered at two places...I texted her and said, "I would feel bad to have gifts given back to back like that" and she said "Relax, you deserve a shower." So I guess she has been in contact with my bridesmaids and her family that is coming and they really want to do this for me. The invites are already out...

These "funds" crack me up. I've been going to weddings for over 35 years as an adult and never once did I need a "fund" to give cash. People know to gift cash when the registry is non-existent or small. I give a registry gift at showers and cash in the form of a check at the weddings. No websites, no fees, no silly poems....keep it simple!