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Master October 2015

KWR: celebrating birthdays (and other events) as an adult

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FinallyMrsT, on April 7, 2015 at 12:51 PM

First off, I love my FMIL, the whole family that I'm marrying into, and the fact that they're super sociable and like to party (the opposite of my parents). But it kind of feels like overkill to me that they go out to family dinners for every single possible occasion. Every birthday, every new job...

FMIL sighed at dinner the other night, "Well, it's not like I'll be celebrating my birthday this year, anyway!" Because our wedding is 4 days later. I'm all for having as big a bday celebration as she wants the weekend prior! But she's apparently said this a couple times around FH. I know this will sort itself out, and I'm not worried. I'm just curious as to what the norms are in your families. To me, the notion of seriously celebrating your bday every single year, throughout all adulthood, is crazy. I know I'll be too tired to do that for myself!

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Master October 2015
FinallyMrsT · on April 7, 2015 at 7:26 PM
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@Kimberly -- honestly, I think what it comes down to is that my FILs are still very active in all aspects of their lives, while my parents are very settled and not really interested in doing more. Neither one of my parents has started a new job in like 40 years, whereas my FMIL has had a very successful career in education (now administrative), with lots of room for growth. So the FILs just have more accomplishments to celebrate, I guess. Because when I think about it, I do believe that birthdays and promotions and graduations should be celebrated. But my parents didn't really raise me and my sisters to be overachievers (in a bad way, I mean); they definitely could have pushed us more. My family is just lame and doesn't do anything lol It must be the fact that those events happen much more frequently in FH's family that kind of throws me off. I also spent 7 years living across the country from my family, so we were rarely together for birthdays (or Thanksgiving, or Christmas, for that matter), and that was just the norm. Now that I do live near my parents, one of my sisters is across the country. FH's immediate family has always been local...so there just never seems to be a lull in the action.

I would consider singing her happy birthday at the reception, but I think just mentioning her bday would be more appropriate, just cause it's not a big milestone birthday. But what I actually care more about is that one of my BMs turns 30 the day after the wedding! That is totally worthy of celebration, in my eyes. It would make sense to me to sing to her, as she's one of my dearest friends, but then I'd need to include FMIL, too. But then it's kind of not as special...I don't know. I'm definitely planning some bday surprises for my BM, who will be flying in for the wedding; I want to take advantage of the fact that a bunch of our friends will all be together for her bday, which never happens.
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