KWR: Moving in together before marriage?

Do it. It will give you time to understand and be able to adapt to your FH habits. I lived with my FH for 6 years before we're getting married and I am very thankful for it. There are no surprises haha

We live together and have for while. Getting married will not change our day to day lives. However, we see marriage as a confirmation of what we already know about each other namely that we want to be together, support each other, and build a family together. We'll know and so will the world that we're not together just because that's what we're used to but because we're making a conscious choice to declare ourselves together for life. It's not about something new, it's about affirming what you've already established by living together and loving each other.

My husband and i didn't live together prior to getting married because I have a young child that I wanted to set a good example for. But on the nights when my kid was staying with its dad, I stayed at my husbands house. That was a few nights a week. It was totally different than us living together now after getting married. He's had a really hard time adjusting to sharing his space as a whole and adjusting to "domestic life". He was 47 and had never been married and had no kids. He was awesome about making sure that I had plenty of closet space, and that my child had a bedroom and bathroom to call its own, and that I have plenty of space in the garage etc. But he doesn't cope well with his routines being changed up (he can no longer lay all of his work stuff all over the kitchen counter because as a family we are actually using that space now), his kitchen items moved around to completely different areas (Necessary to make room for my kitchen stuff and wedding gifts), and now he doesn't get to lay on the couch all day on Saturday and nap undisturbed because well, KIDS. Just stuff he never really thought about.

Anyways. We've had some growing pains. At the end of the day though, we choose each other, to be in this marriage, and to have this family life. To help him, I set him up a really nice space in a spare room with a TV, a comfy leather reclining chair, and a computer station where he can close the door and no one disturbs him or his work stuff. And he can't hear the kids in there either : ), which is terrific because the neighborhood kids tend to cluster at our house in our bonus room and they have a blast up there!! When he gets overwhelmed with kiddo chatter or wants to have some alone time, he just says "Love you guys! I'll be in my office!"

I have lived with other men in the past and it definitely was an eye opener. My childs father turned out to be awful and immature. Verbally abusive. He would never pay bills on time. Stayed out all night and coming home drunk. It was a toxic relationship for sure. I'm glad I finally got out. Those were things I would've never known had we not lived together.

I moved in with my FH after a year of dating & it's been 8 years. No kids, but we have everything together (finances, car, dog, chores, etc). My opinion on marriage has changed over the years. 9 years ago, I never wanted to get married. I was a firm believer that it was just a piece of paper & our relationship was based on our love, support, trust, etc. I literally got into heated debates with my best friends trying to explain why our relationship didn't need to be validated by a sheet of paper.

However, it wasn't until a couple years ago that I started feeling like I needed to be his wife - because he has made me the person I am today - we developed as individuals together - we learned how to deal with each others weird habits got to really know each other - while living together. I wanted to take his last name & I wanted to be a true TEAM.

We each learn new things about each other every day.... even after 9 years! I don't think we'd be as connected had we not lived together. Home is where you should feel the most free & comfortable to be your real, true self. If you & FH can't share that or deal with your weird quirks (we all have 'em) don't you want to find that out before you go through getting married?

I don't think that you get married to move in together - you get married to share your life & love with each other.

Sorry for the novel - long story short - I recommend living together. Side note: Talk about finances - do not just assume you have the same idea about money.

The question is not what your family thinks of it--it's what YOU want to do.

As for us, we'd lived together for 9 years before getting married. It was still exciting. We now had social and legal support for the permanence of our relationship. (And don't even get me started on the legal benefits, including the fact that my wife ended up getting her green card based on the marriage.)

If you don't see marriage as being something more than just living together, why get married in the first place? Certainly, you can live together these days without being married. And if it is something more than just living together, then getting married will be exciting, regardless of whether you have lived together before marriage.

I'm in a similar situation.. my lease is up this summer, and my FH and I are planning to buy a house then (he currently lives an hour away from me). My mom would really like us to wait until we're married.. not for religious reasons or anything, but because she just thinks that it will be something fun to look forward to as part of the wedding planning and what not. I think we are still going to go ahead and try to buy a house this summer, because it's what would work best for each of us.

Long story short - go with your gut and what feels best to you!

My FH and I live together and by the time we are married will be for about 7 months. We spent 3-4 days a week alternating at each other's places before we made the plunge so it made sense to our relationship and financially. Our parents both don't really approve but also don't make negative comments. He proposed after 3 months of living together so it didn't affect him wanting to get married. If anything I feel like it has helped strengthen our relationship in terms of communication and quality time but we also have boundaries and request "alone time" to read a book or watch tv by ourselves if needed.

I've been living with FH for about 2 years now. I'm glad I did it because I know what to expect as far as how he lives and takes care of his space. It sounds like you and your FH could handle living together

Thumbs up to living together. I live with my FH and from having this experience with him I know without a doubt that he is the person I am supposed to spend my life with

We bought a house together and had a child before marriage . I'm still just as excited and I know this will only strengthen our love and bond

I've lived with my fiance for two years, almost 3 now and I'm still just as excited to get married to him. It just reaffirms our commitment to each other and that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I truly believe living together beforehand helps you get to know the person in a different way too. We've grown much closer and I couldn't imagine not living with him!

I have lived with my Fh for over a year. I can't wait to marrie him. Being married is the next level of commitment.

FH and I have been living together for 2 years now.. the first year was definitely hard. It took some time to get used to each other's tendencies (FH is crazy clean, I'm not so much) and learn to live with another person (you don't get to be on your phone in the middle of the night when you can't sleep if the other person is a light sleeper). I feel like since we have lived together, we've worked out the kinks so our first year of marriage will go much smoother than if we waited to live together.

FH and I have bee together going on a year. Been together for 4. Have our 1st child on the way. Us living together doesn't negate the fact that we want to be married and have our dream wedding. I'm even more excited now because we got engaged before we were expecting. But now our child will be a part of it. Which makes it more special to us. I say all that to say go for it

Living together with FH was very important to me before we even started talking about getting married. We both lived with long term relationships before and living together was the reason those relationships fell apart. With my ex I thought he was it until we moved in together and I realized I wasn't excited to come home to him every night. He was/probably still is a really good guy and a great roommate but living together made me realize I didn't feel that chemistry for him. We were together for 3 years with great chemistry and then we moved in together and things changed. So with FH we wanted to make sure we still want to come home to each other every night and were excited to see each other. I strongly recommend living together based on my experience alone.

I would strongly suggest living together before marriage. Like others have said, living together full time is very different than spending the night on the weekends.

I feel you should live with the person for at least a year before making any kind of commitment, people change after so long there is no longer a honeymoon period. I guess that's why it's so common now a days.

Living together is like having a sleepover with your best friend. Every single night. Maybe that's just lesbians? I don't know. Whatever. Before you get married, you should be able to take a giant dump and have your fiance smell it and then you describe the giant log you just pinched in detail to him and you both laugh about it.

What's the point of living together before marriage? This is a joke right?

There's no excitement to lose. It doesn't ruin anything. It's really important to be compatible living partners.

I struggled with this too. FH and I have been living together for a year and a half and it's been wonderful. We've been able to work a lot of things out before we get married. I know I'll still feel special when coming home after our wedding because I'll be coming home with my husband, dedicated life parter, after the wedding.