KWR: Surprising my parents with the honeymoon they never had

This is very nice but asking others to contribute strikes me as a tad uncouth...

Yeah this is nice but if you're going to do it you can't ask others to contribute. It's on you to pay for.

I would pay for it yourself. Getting other people involved in your grand gesture is a little rude in my opinion.

I agree with PPs it is so wonderful that you want to do that for your parents, but asking other's to contribute is a little rude.

I don't think that asking others to contribute would come off as rude. If they are close to your parents they would probably be thrilled to donate a little towards their awesome trip. I would just ask if they want to contribute anything.

I don't know what your siblings' financial situation is, but they're the only people I would MAYBE consider asking to chip in, but you should be prepared to pay 100% if they say no. You would pitch it as, "I had this idea to give them this gift for their 25th anniversary, would you be I interested in participating?" Kids give these kinds of gifts to their parents. I wouldn't start soliciting from other family and friends.

Edit - clarity

If this were me, I would only ask my siblings to donate. Not any extended family or friends.

If they don't want to, they don't have to, of course. I mean I certainly don't want to be rude; perhaps there's a way I can let people know we're doing it without directly asking them to contribute--and then they can if they offer, but won't feel obligated at all.

We could pay for it if it came down to it. I don't think my siblings can though; they're 16 and 11, LOL

I don't think it's the same as asking for money for myself, but I get the notion that's being shared by most posters here. My FH's response was that we could pay for it all ourselves if we had to, but I think my parents would feel guilty if we did that. (Sad face...plans ruined LOL)

Sigh. Buncha killjoys. This is a BEAUTIFUL gesture for your parents and you must feel so great being able to do this for them!! As it's their 25th anniversary, you could present it to people as contributing to a gift. They certainly don't HAVE to, however they would have the option. I see nothing wrong with this and commend you and your FH for being so generous. Group gifts are a thing in my family, so I don't find it rude at all. I mean...this is coming off as a present for their anniversary, right?

@Heather H-- Yes, the goal is to essentially do a group gift for their anniversary. We did it a lot in high school and college for friends, so I guess I thought nothing of it. But I'm also used to being asked for money all the time for study abroad and such, and my crowd is a little on the younger side, so I'm glad people spoke up and told me it was inappropriate though!

I love this!

I don't think its rude to casually be like "hey this is what we are doing for my parents if you would like to help out." If you are forcing people to pay, then yeah that would be rude.

That is so thoughtful! With planning a wedding yourself, I'm sure they will feel that much more thankful/ surprised for the gift!!

@OP, If I had been asked to fund a classmate's study abroad trip in college, I would have lost my shit. Why should I be paying for someone else's tuition?

I would pay for it on your own. it comes off as rude if you ask other family members to contribute as well..unless you're asking a sibling. I did this recently for my grandparents and they absolutely loved it...FH and I paid for it on our own even the flights and it made it even more special for us.

It's certainly not inappropriate for others to contribute to this gift, but it needs to be their idea. Ask people to write cards and make them aware of your plan to fund the trip. If people generously offer up a contribution towards the trip, wonderful! If not, you're still in a position to pay for it and your parents have beautiful notes from their friends. That's how I would approach it if I were you. Allow people to volunteer their resources if they wish to contribute.

I won't go on about asking others to pay, I think you got the vibe on that from previous posters.

If you have the funds to gift your parents this vacation, that is very very sweet of you and I'm sure they will be floored.

What a sweet idea! I love it.

@FutureMrsR its not a bad idea to bring it up to family members. We did the same thing for my moms 60th last year. My sister and I planned it back in April of last year and we got everyo e in on it. My aunt in DC sent flowers, we went to Maine and then we all pitched in and gave her airline tickets to go to DC for a week in Aug. I think if you can make a suggestion then it wouldnt be bad. Even the cards are a good idea.