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Savvy July 2020

Last Minute Cancellations

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Suzanne, on July 11, 2020 at 10:10 PM

Has anyone else had people say they're not coming to the wedding after they RSVP'D that they'd be there? I let a rant out on Facebook and said how mad I was and rude that is to do that. Some of it is health related so I completely get those people. The ones that if it was Covid related they should've said no from the beginning, and not change their mind with the excuse "we just don't want to chance it." So, if you were feeling that way before then why even respond that you're coming?! It totally threw off our dinner count, cupcake, and favor count. I don't think people realize the snowball effect it has on the whole thing. I know I sound rude, I just didn't think this was going to happen this badly.

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31 Comments

Savvy October 2020
Seasonm · on July 13, 2020 at 5:57 PM
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Sometimes people don't say no because they want to come and don't want to close that window. Now that it's coming up, they have seen people die, and don't feel comfortable. Believe me, I am very nervous of our older loved ones getting sick
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Master November 2016
KitandKaboodle · on July 19, 2020 at 10:31 AM
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I was a BM in a small vow renewal last summer. We, there were 6 BM, helped the bride with most of the planning the previous months. The BM in charge of keeping the RSVP's confirmed all 80 guests RSVP'd. On the day of the wedding, about 20 showed up for the ceremony and about 35 - 40 showed for the reception. The bride was more upset about the money, but we reminded her to focus on who's there. So I'll say the same to you. Focus on who's there. Who "took a chance" to be there for you. But don't be upset. We had to bow out of a wedding on August 1st in Florida. The bride and her mother (my friend of 35 years) are very upset our children will not be in her wedding. Neither are returning my calls nor are they responding to my text. For us, we just CANNOT take a chance with our children.
UPDATE:
I just checked my phone. Kelly sent a text about 10 minutes ago letting me know that I owe them $385 for our meals/desserts and I can send it via PayPal. I'll send her the money because I completely understand it's last minute.
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Master October 2022
Jana · on July 19, 2020 at 5:44 PM
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I agree with this. It's ok to feel the way you do, but shaming your friends and family on social media during a pandemic is a great way to anger them and possibly have no one show up.

Even when there isn't a pandemic, this kind of thing happens and you accept it and move on.
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Master October 2022
Jana · on July 19, 2020 at 5:49 PM
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It's unfortunate you are not able to attend but it is NOT your responsibility under any circumstances, pandemic or not, to pay for a meal you aren't able to eat. As the hosts, they themselves have to eat the cost of no shows.
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Master November 2016
KitandKaboodle · on July 19, 2020 at 8:25 PM
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Thank you Jana, and I know I don't have to pay especially since we told them back in April if things are not clear, we would not be attending. However, before I could send the money, I received six (very long) nasty text messages from her and her daughter. The gist of their texts is that our relationship is over and I am no longer her daughter's godmother. I responded letting them know I believe their decision is extreme, but I will respect their decision and will not contact either of them after this text. Then I blocked them on my phone and social media accounts. I'm hurt that they took it this far, but there's nothing I can do or say to make things any better. I'm not jeopardizing my, DH's or my children's life because they want to continue with this wedding knowing how many people in Florida have tested positive since they recklessly opened the state. And no, I'm not sending them the money because I told them I would not contact them.
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Master October 2022
Jana · on July 19, 2020 at 8:29 PM
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Wow!! That is crazy and no one should have to experience that. Sorry that happened to you but it sounds like it was for the best.
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Master November 2016
KitandKaboodle · on July 19, 2020 at 9:09 PM
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DH said the same thing. But he never liked either one of them. Just goes to show sometimes people looking from outside a relationship have a better view than those inside the relationship.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on July 19, 2020 at 9:28 PM
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Wow! I'm very sorry you're going through this, though frankly I'm glad that they showed their true colors before you sent them almost $400 that you were sending out of the goodness of your heart.
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Master November 2016
KitandKaboodle · on July 19, 2020 at 9:36 PM
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Thanks Vicky. I never expected their response to be visceral. But now that I've had time to let it set in, I'm okay with it.
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Expert September 2020
· on July 19, 2020 at 10:27 PM
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I would just be glad that they are at least telling you. Its way more rude to say youre coming then not show up. Totally understand your frustration though, this is not something we ever expected to deal with
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Devoted October 2020
Kristin · on September 29, 2020 at 9:18 PM
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We’re experiencing this now and it makes me want I pull my hair out. We’ve been so lax about everything with our wedding and have expressed to all of our guests that if they’re not comfortable we totally understand. It wasn’t an issue when it was worse Covid-wise and now some of my friends are flip flopping back and forth. Our today I received a text saying she’ll let me know what she decides in the next week or so. Ummm our wedding is next weekend.
It’s just been an eye opener to all day the least.
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