Last name complication

*fixed the issue

That depends on how you & your fiance feel about it. My sister kept hers as a second middle name. She sometimes uses her first and two last names as her full name, sometimes she's just her first & husbands last name and sometimes she still goes by her first & maiden name (Moreso only for civil reasons).

I always thought I'd keep my last name and not take a new name, however, it means a lot of FH that I share his name (though he would respect it if I didn't). That, and his last name is cute. ♡ So, I'll be changing to his for personal life, and use my maiden name for business purposes (I've turned it into a loan out/llc). So, the public will see my original name but I'll go by FH name in my personal life.

Sorry for the follow-up, but I read your full post now.

Idk, Maggie Mason* (this is a guess) sounds cute. Names that roll off the tongue are memorable and can be fun. I'm not sure what his name is or what your maiden one is, but it is a hard decision nonetheless.

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Thanks for the reply! Yeah it definitely is a difficult decision. He's fairly traditional but also pretty progressive, but I haven't brought this up to him at all so I don't know how he feels, but I want to get my feelings and thoughts sorted first.

I know I'm not going to not take his name in some fashion, and our kids will get his last name, but yeah its complicated. I'm the last unmarried woman on my dad's side of the family as well, so if I don't carry my current last name over then that's it..

Lots and lots to think about!

I would first look up what is allowed in your state first! A lot of places don’t allow adding a second middle name without a court ordered name change so that may change your decision.

When I was growing up, my last name was literally the most common last name in America.... While I have always had a lot of allegiance to my birth family & name, I always wanted a less common last name. My H's last name is not at all common (when you Google the name, most people who pop up are related to him), but it's also not particularly odd/long/difficult -- it's just uncommon. For lots of reasons I preferred to take his last name when we married 30+ years ago, but I had also achieved some professional success under my maiden name; however, I wasn't a fan of hyphenating (again, lots of reasons). I ended up changing my name so my maiden name became my middle name (dropping a middle name I didn't have a strong commitment to) and taking my H's last name. Professionally and legally, I use First Maiden Last. Personally, most people refer to me as First Last, and daughter's friends and teachers pretty much always used Mrs Last. For me, it's been kind of the best of both worlds. I didn't "lose" my maiden name identity, but our immediate family members all have the same last name and I like the way both my professional/legal name and personal name sound. When daughter married 18 months ago, she seriously considered doing the same thing, but her first name nickname (which she uses primarily), maiden name, and married named ALL end with a long-E sound and she thought something along the lines of "Susie Kinney Brinley" sounded ridiculous, so she dropped her maiden name.... Good luck choosing what's right for you!

Yeah i know what you mean aha. my husband and i have rhyming last names like Tan and Pan. i decided not to change my name at all because hyphenating Pan-Tan sounds weird and i didn't want to go thru the process of changing to his last name just for that and i didn't want to move my last name to my middle name because i already have a middle name. i think it's ok if you just keep your name as is.

My first name (nickname) and my last name rhyme ridiculously.... so much so that people often mistake my last name for my first name.
I love my last name, I always thought I’d keep it. But I have to tell you aside from the rhyme my mother and I share the same first / last name (our middles are different. Culturally it’s not uncommon to name your daughter after mother (ugh)
So... where am I going with this, aside from sharing names with my mom and people / medical professionals confusing us and people calling me by my last name (not they just change a letter) - I have finally decided that despite my last name dying with me (only child - no children) I will take my FHs last name. And EVERYONE mispronounces his name to. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
Although, I do have dual citizenship and once married I could potentially keep my maiden name in my parents home country.
Decisions decisions - it really is a personal preference

My aunt kept he last name as her husband's last name was not as unique as hers. Works fine for them as he doesn't really care and she gets to keep her family name alive as there were no boys to carry the name.


My mom has a hyphenated last name in some places and her married name in others so if you go with hyphenated I recommend bringing consistent as she gets confused all the time on what name to put on forms.

I was planning to make my maiden name my second middle and make his my last, but that requires a court order in MA, so I added his as a second last name and I'm actually really happy I ended up doing it that way. I did not want to hyphenate.

I kept my name because I like it. MIL didn't change hers, so DH never even thought that I would. It is entirely up to you - though discussing it with your FH might help you sort out your feelings.

My sister faced the same thing when she got married because the last name was the same first two letters as her first name and she chose to hyphenate. My FH has a long last name so I'm hyphenating my middle name and maiden name and will take his last name. Hope this helps