Last Name

I don’t believe in changing my name unless my fiancé does as well. To me, it’s an extremely sexist expectation, and I hate the assumption that every single woman out their plans to change her name. My identity is not less because I am a woman. It’s a very strong personal belief for me, and I literally wrote papers about it during college.


You have to do whatever is best for you. It doesn’t matter what society expects or what anyone else says. It’s such a personal decision. Changing a name is changing part of your identity, so it has to be what will make you happy. (You can, of course, change things later if you change your mind about it.)

I kept my maiden name but it's totally up to you what you do.

Some brides keep their name, some take their partner's name, some hyphenate, some move their maiden name to their middle name and take on the partner's name as a last name, some keep both names without a hyphen between, some combine names to form a new name, and some couples pick an entirely new name altogether that has no relation to their previous surnames.

I kinda always planned on keeping my name and brought it up with my husband while we were engaged. I had prepared to list all of the reasons - I'm an only child, my dad died when I was in college and it's one of the only things I have of his, I had spent all of middle school perfecting my signature, I had a small side business where I used my birth name, I'm in my 30s and have an established career, etc - but when I said "how would you feel if I kept my name?" he didn't bat an eye. He said "it's YOUR name" and completely deferred to what I wanted to do. He was totally on board with whatever I wanted as long as we weren't going to hyphenate our kid's names. He HATES hyphenated names. He asked "if we had kids what would their names be?" and I told him all the human children would get his last name and all the pet children would have my last name. He was 100% fine with that. The conversation was so much easier than I thought it would be.

I'm taking FH's last name, but as I have a strong attachment to my maiden name I'm planning to hyphenate it.

Do what you feel is best, but if you're unsure then keep your maiden name & switch it later.

I really wanted to keep my moms last name as my middle name and get rid of my dads since he's not a part of my life. I was unable to break up my original two last names and either kept both or got rid of both. My husbands last name is short and simple and I had way too many years of spelling out my full name, haha. I wished I could have kept my moms last name but its all done now and I'll always be her daughter so its ok.

I debated for quite awhile. I have an unusual last name I love and only sisters, so our name ends with us if none of us carry it on. My FH said it was completely up to me what I wanted to do.
At one point he mentioned that no matter what I decide, he will think of me as a "his last name". It wasn't said in a mean or uncaring way, it was just a passing statement, but it did make me think. I'm very excited and happy to be his wife and part of his family, and I just felt that it was the right thing for me to change my name.
I haven't questioned the decision since and am looking forward to finally tying the knot next summer (we won't postpone again)!

I'm in deep self debate about this topic currently. I had always leaned towards keeping my last name as I consider it a part of who I am and I'm proud of it. I'm very close with my family and it's perfectly normal anyway now for a woman to keep her last name. FH is fine with it.

That being said, I don't like my FH's last name at all. So I'm feeling like I need to be honest with myself about whether I would be considering changing my last name if I actually liked his and if I'm being superficial about it. He barely even likes his last name but that's because he does not have a great relationship with his father. FH is French but we live in the US and if you were to pronounce his name in an "American" way and not with proper French pronunciation, it sounds like a pretty unpleasant word. It's a common name in France though. Full disclosure I've even worried about our future children getting made fun of in school! So just feeling pretty torn about the whole thing.