Last straw--i'm ready to cancel my wedding

I cut toxic people out from my life. Permanently. Including family members. No exception. If they are that toxic and full of drama. I am not having it. Sorry you have to go through that unnecessary drama. Find peace yourself 🥂

I like what belle said cut the toxic from your life I know it's easier said then done, But I think you will find peace of mind by doing that. Don't elope just plan your wedding the way you are congrats

I am sorry and I get you feeling down about this. I feel at this point you cannot control who comes to your wedding and that should not be your focus. If you focus who makes the time to come to your wedding you will go crazy. I say keep your date as planned and those that truly love you will be there. I say, while easier said than done, let it go and focus on yourself and not anyone else's wedding plans.

Cut the toxic people out. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean they can continue the abuse. My daughter went through a situation on her father & his of the family. She told him just because she’s her father does not give him or his family the right to judge or treat her horribly. She finally stood her ground & she felt immensely better.

Your mental health is of the utmost importance, and I’m so sorry this saga keeps taking different shapes that are difficult to deal with.


Would there be a lot of overlap between the two guest lists? Setting this new issue aside, what does your ideal day look like?
Even before we had to downsize our wedding, most of my now-husband’s family was not on the guest list due to toxicity. It was literally just his dad, and one aunt/uncle/cousin unit. The rest of “his” invites went to friends.
On a separate note though, I almost wished we had eloped—but for anxiety/finance reasons.

View Quoted Comment I agree with the completely!!!!

Your friends are the family you choose for yourself. Involve only immediate family, Mom, dad, sibs. And others who are never an issue. Drop the rest. You don't need the constant garbage. And drop Facebook, and other things your extended family uses. Socialize with people in person or on the phone. Keep only family who model behaviors you want your children to have. No nastiness, no gossipers, no people who try to divide their friends and family into separate armed camps with their meanness and dra. You don't deserve it. Walk away from as many as it takes.

If I were you I would have your dream wedding as planned MINUES all the toxic people. I wouldn’t want ANY toxic family members involved in my special day. Life is too short girl!! This should be a happy time and anyone bringing you down doesn’t get to be involved period. If they’re mad, GOOD!!! I know realistically it gets complicated with family and I don’t know your specific situation, but these people sound horrible and not worthy of being in your life. Don’t let go of what’s important to you for other people!

You cannot control who comes to your wedding. Let it go, throw your hands up in the air and breathe.

😞 this is heartbreaking. But I personally would never cancel my wedding because of other people. The day is about you two and the love for each other. We would have still got married if 0 guests attended.

Wooo weee! Yes... elope! That’s way too much stress do deal with over a wedding. So, for peace of mind and a joyous wedding, eloping sounds like a great idea in your situation.

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Thiiiiiiiiiiis.

My maternal family got mad because her name wasn't on the invitations.

They did not come.

We had a fabulous time without them. (The kids still talk to me, because they agree that getting mad over a piece of paper is, uh, inappropriate.)

Get married the way you want to. Invite those who would bring you joy, and if those who don't get mad.. well, that's why you didn't invite them!

Thank you everyone for your support!

I want to keep the date, but the members of my family always involve my grandmother and mother, who panic about me being ostracized from the family and always beg me to give in to "keep the peace". Basically, the family dynamic is that a few members of the family are emotionally manipulative/abusive to the rest of the family, so they can basically get them to do anything they want. I don't care a flip if anyone in the family likes me, but I don't want to hurt the other members of my family (again) with my dumb wedding.

FH and I are leaning towards cancelling, eloping, and never attending another family gathering again.

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I'm glad you brought up children, because my FH and I have talked about not wanting these people to be in contact with our kids ever. I think you are right that I need to just separate from these people. I love my immediate family, and in a way I do love my extended family, but I can't handle this level of toxicity anymore and I certainly can't expose my future children to it.