Lazy Bridesmaid/Discontinued Dress – WHAT DO I DO?!

Tell her she waited to long and give her another job (maybe a reader). Explain that the one thing she had to do was get the dress and show up.

Or you could search Tradesy and eBay and such and try to find it. What dress is it? Color and style?

@Emily if it were a money issue, I would hope she could talk to me about that. I'm her FRIEND! Or, she could have said she would love to support me as a guest but didn't feel she was able to commit to the financial obligation. I would understand! She's putting me in a tricky position now, as we aren't doing any readings or incorporating other people into our ceremony in that way.

See if she can find another dress similar in the same color.

or say- "sorry- here's your invitation to attend as a guest"

I know this is a stretch due to sizing, but maybe BM could trade dresses with another, and the MOH can be in a different dress?

ETA- I realize this sounds confusing, but I'm sure you get the general idea.

@T-Rex, I have definitely already looked at Poshmark, Tradesy, Bridesmaid Trade and Pre Owned Wedding Dresses and haven't found it. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. I will check ebay though. FH and I hadn't planned on incorporating readers or guests into our ceremony in a participatory way and I don't really want to change that just because she procrastinated or delayed getting her dress for whatever reason.

@DeNigris2Be2017 I actually had that same thought myself so that might be a last ditch attempt, but then I feel like that puts my MOH in a weird position, she was the first to order her dress and loves it and I'd be asking her to get another. Also it's just not what I pictured when I chose matching dresses – I wanted them all to be coordinated, which is why I went that route. But yes, good suggestion for an alternate solution.

I totally understand where you're coming from. I love a matching bridal party, too. I hope everything works out for you!

Literally a bridesmaid's only job is to buy the dress and show up mostly sober. She did not do a very simple task. Its a reasonably priced dress and she had three months to talk to you about it.

I'd let her know you're looking forward to seeing her there as a guest.

what is the dress and color? Check azazie and see if they have one similar.

I was recently in a wedding where a BM refused to pay what the BM dresses cost so she used one from azazie and it actually worked out perfectly.

The dress is Social Bridesmaids style 8157 in Moss. She's about a size 4/6 but honestly if I find the dress at all I'm going to send her the link like "it's now or never!" IF I can even find the dress. So far no luck

Here are four companies that carry it...

http://www.bridesmaids.com/8157.html

https://www.bestbridalprices.com/dessy-social-bridesmaid-dresses-style-8157-p139447?ref=c0n5

http://www.weddingshoppeinc.com/pr/social-bridesmaids-by-dessy-8157/56250

https://bellabridesmaids.com/shop/designer/designer-social-bridesmaids/product/8157/

Bridal Box might have it: http://www.thebridalbox.net/sobrdrst8116.html

Perfect Bridal: http://www.perfectbridal.com/bridesmaid-dresses/social-bridesmaids-bridesmaids-dress-style-8157.html#.WFrAENUrK70

I do not know anything about these shops, but simply found them through a Google search.

Good luck!!

I think this site has your dress with that color, it didn't say anything about that color not being available so you might be able to get it here for $150

https://bellabridesmaids.com/shop/designer/designer-social-bridesmaids/product/8157

If I was doing matching dresses I would send them the link with a deadline to order by and if they didn't order it then I would have to say that I am looking forward to having them at the wedding as a guest. 3 months if a lot of time to get a dress and $140 isn't unreasonable, especially if they were all okay with it.

Katie for the win and being not "lazy".

Http://www.bridesmaids.com/8157.html

Bridesmaids.com is letting me select moss..

Thank you ladies – checking out all those sites now!!!

Https://dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/8157/#.WFrB01MrJhE

I agree with pp. 3 months is plenty of time to save up $140. That's putting aside (give or take) $45 a month for 3 months. That's not hard.

Ok so I checked out the other sites and it kind of looks like they are merely coordination sites that help with ordering, they don't actually have the dress on hand. They would just act as a middle man to place the dress order through the main company, which is who I talked to and said they were "completely out of Moss fabric". Will still call and confirm, but it's likely their site swatches are just outdated since its such recent discontinuation.

This probably makes me a horrible person, but I don't care. I'm going to vent really quick. I hate Hate HATE the financial excuse for why members of the bridal party can't get their attire. I told my bridesmaids several months before they had to order their dresses what dress I wanted them to get and even gave them like a saving timeline in case they were worried about finances. I think, at that point, it was something like $4 or $5 a week they needed to save in order to pay for their dress. Then, a week or so before they had to have them ordered all of a sudden, FH's sister can't afford it and we would be like disowned from the family if she wasn't in our wedding, so WE ended up paying for her dress. We also paid for attire for her daughter to be our flower girl and her son to be junior groomsman. Then, last week, after we gave all of our bridal party info to all of our vendors and had programs made, FH's cousin says he can't afford his tux. Mind you, we are getting married a week from Saturday and we gave them all their cost info several months ago so they'd have time to save. So, guess what, WE are paying for his tux. Then, yesterday. FH's sister asks me what color shoes she needs. I have told her what colors (gold or royal blue) at least 6 or 7 times in the last year alone. She tells me she cannot find any in those colors and she refuses to wear heals. I told her my mom found sparkly gold flats at Walmart and she said she didn't have the money to go out and by fancy new shoes that she'll only wear once. What about walmart makes you think fancy or expensive??? Those flats were $5!! It's even more infuriating when you know these people and see them blowing money on the most trivial things but they don't care about you enough to save a few dollars a week over the course of several months to be in your wedding. So, now FH and I are basically paying people to be in our wedding.

Sorry. I needed that little vent session. Lol