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Just Said Yes October 2019

lcms Pastor and Cohabitation

Kelly, on December 29, 2018 at 1:17 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 8

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Just a little background info:

My fiance and I have been together for just about 8 years now. He proposed in January so we have been engaged for almost a year. Date has been set for the wedding in Oct 2019. We just bought a house and moved in together about a month ago.

I was raised Lutheran (Missouri synod) and was always told cohabitation was wrong. My fiance wanted to move in with me a long time ago and I always said no because I at least wanted the commitment of an engagement first.

I know, in this day and age, it was common and socially acceptable to cohabitate. But has anyone been in a similar situation with the LCMS church and what became of it? Did they marry you or refuse to do so because it goes against a strong belief of the religion? I'm just curious because I just emailed my pastor about marrying us and have no clue what to expect.

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Fwbride, on December 30, 2018 at 2:35 AM

Champion June 2019
Kenisha · on December 29, 2018 at 1:21 PM
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I mean would you really want someone to marry you that’s casting that type of judgement?
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Devoted June 2019
F · on December 29, 2018 at 1:34 PM
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Your pastor may still have another pastor marry you even if he’s okay with the cohabitate.
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Expert January 2019
Sunshine · on December 29, 2018 at 1:38 PM
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Where I live the majority of people are Lutheran, we have a crap ton of Lutheran churches around. I’ve never heard of living together ever being a problem for any Lutherans.
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on December 29, 2018 at 2:08 PM
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We were married 30+ yrs ago in an LCMS church, and were co-habitating at the time. I'm not sure the pastor ever specifically asked and we probably didn't volunteer anything. I think you might occasionally run across a particular pastor who has a strong opinion/stance on this, but I don't think as a rule the entire denomination is going to refuse to marry you because of it. I think this will likely be influenced by where you live and your congregation. Some LCMS pastors/churches are very conservative regarding doctrine, but others are more flexible. Around here, in So Cal, most are reasonably open-minded. That's one of the great things about Luther, justification is by "grace alone, faith alone, Christ alone" -- we're all sinners.... Good luck!
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VIP January 2019
Megan · on December 29, 2018 at 2:48 PM
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That were probably ELCA Lutherans and not Missouri synod which is much more conservative. ELCA are pretty chill lol
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Expert January 2019
Sunshine · on December 29, 2018 at 3:55 PM
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The one I grew up in is Missouri synod.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Kelly · on December 29, 2018 at 6:39 PM
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Thank you so much for your input. That makes me feel a lot better. I guess we'll see what happens when we meet with him.
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Super July 2024
Fwbride · on December 30, 2018 at 2:35 AM
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It’s not Judgement. It’s a sacred more conservative belief some religions have. They don’t judge you they just say “sorry, but it’s against our beliefs, God bless.”. It’s like going to your local Mexican joint and asking them to make you sushi, they just don’t do that. Also Original poster said she was against it for a while, pretty sure she doesn’t see it as judgment either.
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