Left out of sister's wedding party and I'm the only sibling not included

I personally wouldn’t attend the wedding, but that’s just me.

If you and your sister are close, tell her how you feel? If you’re not close, then consider that may be the really why you’re not apart of the bridal party. You could even ask to other duties as well, like usher or read a scripture or poem.

Does your future brother-in-law have a closer relationship with your brother? Normally you select those you are closest to as party of your bridal party.

Awe I’m sorry this happened! The best thing to do would be to talk to her and let her know how you feel. Maybe she had something in mind for you such as to do a reading or be an usher etc. It’s difficult with wedding parties because typically the numbers have to line up, etc. That’s why we’re foregoing a wedding party and just inviting everyone as “guests.” Everyone is our VIP lol so we don’t want to differentiate.

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They have already selected the readers for the wedding and they are her fiance's aunt and uncle and the ushers will be his cousins.

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No he doesnt have a closer relationship. My brother lives in California and the rest of us are in North Carolina.

I'm sorry that this happened but your sister can't force her fiance to include you in his party. Are the two of you close? He does have the right to choose who he wants to stand with him on that day.
Maybe see if your sister would be willing to include you in her bridal party?

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That's very odd. Maybe you should kindly sit down with your sister to ask why your brother was included, but not you. I know my husband's older brother wasn't in our wedding, but the rest of our siblings were. His older brother's four children were in our wedding though.

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I hang out with him all the time and I recently helped him and my sister move into a new house.

I doubt my sister would include me in her side. They don't believe in mixed sides.

My mom and dad would have never let me exclude a sibling, it wasn't even a discussion. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I would be honest with your sister about how you feel hurt and excluded. Even if you aren't in the bridal party, you should also still be included in the smaller events, imo, because you are immediate family.

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All the smaller events are wedding party and parents only.

Did they give you a reason why you are not included. I'm sorry that excluded you, and it doesn't make much sense since it sounds like you've got a closer relationship to them than your brother.

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Yes, I'm saying that they should include you in them if they are including their parents, so that it's immediate family and wedding party only. I think it's poor etiquette to have events during the wedding weekend that selectively include members of the immediate family

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I haven't asked them and I think asking them might cause a fight because there was a recent argument when between my dad and my sister over some of the wedding costs because my parents are paying for the entire thing. It goes resolved, but it was a tense issue for awhile.

I'm sorry this is causing so much hurt for you. Being heard on how you feel is really important - talking to your dad and posting are good ways to help there. That is a tough situation to be in.
I'm curious on why being in the wedding party is so important to you? You'd mentioned always wanting to be in a wedding (not just this wedding to support this sister) - is it about the importance of the ppl standing there apart from the guests? Just wondering if maybe there's a way for you to have some of that feeling either outside of the wedding.
Your feelings are valid, but so are your sister's and BIL. They would have included you in the wedding party if that's what they wanted, so you may have to navigate discussing this very carefully to avoid alienating yourself further from them.

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I think it's important because usually the wedding party members are the most valued people by the couple. Being a guest at a wedding for sibling just shows that the siblings don't really value you and I still have some hurt towards my brother for leaving me out of his wedding. However, I stupidly thought my sister would someone who wouldn't leave me out and would value our relationship

I'm so sorry this is happening. I think it's pretty poor etiquette on the part of your sister and future BIL to include all siblings but you. The only way this would be excusable was if you guys were estranged or if there was some reason they didn't want you at the wedding. But to just invite you as a guest while all the other siblings are in the wedding party (and the same thing your brother did) is pretty rude.

As others have said, I would discuss it with them, but I might wait until after the wedding to do so since it sounds like they're unlikely to change their minds. Let them have their wedding, but you might just need to have that painful conversation where you tell them how hurt you've been.

View Quoted Comment I understand the feeling left out, definitely. I'd wondered if it was deeper, given you talked about not being a ring bearer and the feeling of "not being picked."
You can be right that a wedding party is typically who people are closest with. If you're really close with your sister but don't have a bond with your BIL, that might be a cause - the groom will be hanging out with those guys all day, having pictures with them, etc. If you guys don't "click" then it might make the day less enjoyable.
If you think it will help you and you can do it calmly/ without anger, then talking to your sister may help you feel better. Not to change her mind or make her feel bad, but to express to her that you really care about her and wanted to support her on her wedding day and this has left you feeling left out. Don't expect a "good" reason, but feeling seen/ heard can help you feel better. Once that has passed, try your best to move forward in a way that's productive for you and your family.

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I have hung out with her fiance numerous times and I have treated me to Carolina Panther games, Hurricanes games, and concerts. we do click.

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My dad says i should tell them after the wedding. there are times i don't feel like going to the wedding because it will just be too hurtful seeing my other siblings included througout the day and i'm stick sitting with other guests and not anything at all like special wedding party dances, being introduced etc.