Left out of sister's wedding party and I'm the only sibling not included

View Quoted Comment Hmmm, then if you're really searching for "the answer" you'd just need to go to the source. I don't know if it'll be beneficial for your relationship with them (family/ BIL), but there will be no other way to get to the why if that's what's bothering you. Good luck!

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I'm not sure about how to approach them.

View Quoted Comment My only advice is approach it delicately and focus on a productive path forward. If I were in your shoes, I might approach my sister in a low pressure 1:1 situation like over coffee. Express that you're excited and happy for them, and that you were a little hurt and shocked about not being included in the wedding party. Listen to what she has to say as judgement free as you can and take it from there. At the end you might ask whether you can be included in some of the side events so you don't feel left out, and try to put a positive focus that you'd just love to help. Even if it's ushering or picking up the bags of ice, every little thing does help out.

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I don't think I could ask to be an usher because her fiance's cousins have already been asked and accepted the roles. Her venue has employees who will be doing everything for the reception so there's nothing I could pick up or do.

I am so sorry you're having to go through this, my feelings would be hurt as well. I would talk to your sister and tell her how you feel and I also agree with PP about possibly not attending the wedding depending on how the conversation goes with your sister

Oh wow huh that’s kind of sad :/
I don’t really think I would say anything though to be frank... you could ask how you can help but I don’t think I’d make a fuss out of it? I know the situation isn’t ideal but I feel like it’s better than making her involve you if she doesn’t want to.

This happened to my partner with the sister's wedding about 4 years ago. There are five siblings in their family and all the other siblings were in the wedding party, but my partner was just asked to be an usher. He was so upset at the time and is still hurt by it. Because of that, we aren't having any of the siblings in our wedding. It's not to slight them, but just because it became clear where my partner stands in the family. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You can try bringing it up, but we decided it wasn't worth the drama.

I'm sure I've read this before, another website perhaps? A few months ago.

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A part of me thinks it's not worth it by bringing it up. I talked with a friend awhile ago and she suggested that I leave out my brother and sister in my major events and that I refused to help them when certain things happen.

Maybe try asking one of your other siblings if they have any insight into why you weren’t asked. Not to be rude or make you feel uncomfortable, but could it be that they worry you are financially unable to afford it at this time?

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I can afford wedding party costs. My income isn't effected by the pandemic and i have managed to save up some extra money due to not going out places over the past several months.

I can relate. I’ve been in this position. My sister and BIL had my brothers, his brother, and his younger sisters (14 & 16) in their wedding. I was the only one not included. I honestly didn’t say anything to them, though. I was upset, of course, but it was their wedding. There was nothing to say. They clearly didn’t want me in it, and I didn’t want them to try to include me out of pity. I also didn’t want to create conflict or deal with the fallout. I attended the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and just basically sucked it up all weekend. I tried to view it as a good excuse not to have her involved in mine at all, and it cost less to be a guest than a bridesmaid.

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Each family handles things like this differently. It just depends on what's best for you. I'm sorry you're upset and I hope you find a way to enjoy the event, either way!

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I don't think I would be able to enjoy the even as a regular guest.

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I understand where you're coming from, but, really, it's your sister's wedding. I understand that you're hurt, but you should try to have a good attitude for her wedding. You don't have to be happy about it, and you don't have to bring it up at all, but you should try to enjoy the day as they've planned it. Especially if there's nothing you can do about it, there's no point in continuing to dread it and be upset.

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Like I said, I can't see myself enjoying the wedding at all. It will just hurt too much to see the other siblings a part of the event.

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I don't really care about the costs of being in a wedding party. I just want to have one event where I was chosen to be a part of.

View Quoted Comment I think you may have your answer

Thank you for posting this! I'm in the same situation as you were, and not going to lie it really hurts. With three brothers and one sister you would think I would be in at least one of their weddings but sadly no.

My BIL (my husbands brother) is getting married soon. I am currently the only in law to my husband’s brothers...All three of my BIL’s are in the wedding and so is one of their girlfriends. (The other guy is single) So I am literally the only person being left out. I don’t think I’m going to bother showing up because that’s pretty embarrassing, honestly. (Well, if I’m even invited. They didn’t send an invite or anything)