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June 2021

Left out of sister's wedding party and I'm the only sibling not included

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Kevin, on July 19, 2020 at 8:28 AM

My oldest sister is getting married next June. I'm the only sibling not involved in the wedding and really hurts. My older brother is in the wedding as a groomsmen and my two sisters are bridesmaids. My future brother-in-law's sister is a bridesmaid and his brother is the best man. I'm upset about this and feel incredibly hurt and left out. I know it may sound stupid. But, I'm already dreading the wedding knowing that I will be left out of the main festivities and will basically just be sitting around with the other guests. I will probably be alone for the day as my sister and her fiance have said that there will be brunches just for the wedding party and parents on the morning of the wedding. I told my dad last night about how I feel upset and he doesn't really understand.

I have never been wedding at all and I have always hoped that at least my siblings would include me in their weddings. My oldest brother got married two years ago and since he is in the Marines, he decided to only have Marine friends in the wedding pa=rty because they were wearing their dress uniforms. I was hurt back then, but I still pinned some hopes that my sisters would ask me to be in their weddings especially since I was left out of my brother's wedding. My sisters were included in my brother's wedding.

I have never been in any wedding for relatives and as a kid I hated that I was never picked to be ring bearer in relatives' weddings. But, back then I had hope that my siblings and friends would include me in their big days. I'm a kind and responsible person and I would fulfill all duties quite well.

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Dedicated October 2021
Jules · on March 28, 2021 at 9:25 AM
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You could do a reading, a poem, be invited to the rehearsal dinner anyway, help your sister get ready, she could ask you to help plan something like signature cocktails or one of the showers, you could be another usher (there is no limit), you could do absolutely anything. This was on purpose and deliberate. You have to actively exclude a sibling from your wedding. Frankly, it’s incredibly mean. I am shocked so I can understand how you feel.

My brother is my “man” of honor (instead of having a maid of honor) in my bridal party and will be standing next to me 💗 and my sister is one of my bridesmaids. I rarely speak with my sister but we get along great and I love her and there was never a question about whether or not she would be included, we just aren’t friends the way my brother and I are. If I had more siblings (like someone said above- unless we were estranged) they would ALL be included. Even if I had 10 siblings. Guess my guests can listen to ten love poems in my ceremony because guess what my siblings would ALL be included.
I’m not going to tell you not to go. That won’t change what’s already been done and the hurt they’ve caused. But I’d distance myself and I surely wouldn’t be helping them move ever again!!! And lastly, your father sounds emotionally stunted because how can he not understand why that would hurt your feelings? Focus on growing relationships with people who reciprocate the effort and love. This goes for family and friends alike. My heart definitely goes out to you but this was honestly done with your sister knowing it would hurt your feelings.
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CYNTHIA · on June 15, 2022 at 12:40 PM
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Her wedding her choice. Even though it doesn’t feel good, but the only way to get an answer to why is just to ask and let your feelings be known. Keep in mind there should be no expectations for you to assist an any way with their wedding. You’re a guest if you choose to attend and you just behave as a guest if you go.
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